Author Topic: My Story Where Do I Stand!  (Read 13547 times)

Online Mitzpah

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My Story Re: Where Do I Stand!
« Reply #90 on: August 25, 2015, 01:29:36 PM »
Prdoll,

I am also at work. Rest assured you are not alone.
All of us are going through similar circumstances, it is not easy when our lives have been turned upside down.

I had to go and renegotiate the house taxes early this morning, then I dropped by the registrar office where we got married to find out if the divorce has been published because my h. insists that I change my name back to my maiden name. I found out that it has been published. I need to find some cash to pay for a copy in order to start changing my name on all my documents - the name I have had for 31 years. None of this is easy.

I still stand. I love my h. I believe in miracles and so I go on.

Many probably think I am losing it! So don't worry...

I think you need to stand back from all the drama that your h. is dragging you into. Try to take the focus off him and what he is doing. Concentrate on yourself and your life, your job. There is nothing you can do or say to hurry him out of his crisis.
M 58
H 58
S 27
D 24
BD 13 Dec 2010
Divorced 27 Feb 2015 (30 years marriage)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

Offline Prdoll1072Topic starterTopic starter

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Re: Where Do I Stand!
« Reply #91 on: August 25, 2015, 02:39:38 PM »
Thank you mitzpah I just keep remembering her words in that pic and it's tearing me up inside. I love my h like so many here and when you try to do all to distract yourself and move on with your own life it's hurts the core. I will not let h destroy my core person I have always been loving and caring that is my nature that makes me me and I cannot allow h to take that away! I sometimes just want to pack up and leave but he has done such a turn around with the kids that I know it will destroy them for me to go too far they love us both and from last year to this year he has been a father to them again he has had them with him on his vacations he has also taken them for weeks at a time and I see how the kids love it the only person missing is me even the dogs are part of the sharing rights and I'm lefted alone and afraid. I need to learn and go back to detachment and dark!

Offline stayed

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Re: Where Do I Stand!
« Reply #92 on: August 26, 2015, 01:57:22 PM »
Most of all Prdoll, be kind to yourself.  Sure you let your expectations get out of hand at times... sometimes just when you think you have finally managed to detach... wham... something is said, or done and groan, there are those horrible lost feelings of rejection, unworthiness, etc. etc. 

That's when you must be extra specially kind to yourself.  When that happens, sit yourself down and said... ah gad dang it... I DID IT AGAIN... DIDN''T... ugggh... Wish I could just stop caring about what HAPPENS to my MLCer, not going to happen over night.  Just consider yourself a really NICE person, cause in spite of all the nasty crap he has subjected you to, you still care enough about him, to WANT HIM TO GET WELL AGAIN. Honestly, after some of the stunts these MLCers pull, we could be FORGIVEN for wishing, excruciating pain come to their most delicate bits. 

You're doing fine Prdoll.... just fine. 

Hugs Stayed...
Married 42yrs.
Reconciled July 5, 2006

"Don't be so open minded your brains fall out".  by Stephen A. Kallis, Jr.
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Offline Prdoll1072Topic starterTopic starter

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Re: Where Do I Stand!
« Reply #93 on: August 26, 2015, 03:11:27 PM »
Thank you stayed! I wanted to ask you since you have reconcile did your h ever say he didn't want to be with ow at that moment or that he was trying to let go of that relationship and didn't want to be mean or hurtful at doing it but he needed to do it! H was saying you don't understand it was like I was there but I wasn't I wanted to be there with you and the kids!

Offline Prdoll1072Topic starterTopic starter

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Re: Where Do I Stand!
« Reply #94 on: August 29, 2015, 06:31:48 AM »
Hello everyone made God continue to give us strength and guidance because I really don't  know how we deal with so much pain! The worst of all this is when your emotions start we do cycle a lot and makes it even more confusing and it's something that none of us deserve because yes our lives may not have been perfect but we were in control of handling them this is just too painful! Just venting and knowing God is on my side

Offline Prdoll1072Topic starterTopic starter

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Still trying to understand
« Reply #95 on: March 17, 2017, 02:37:22 AM »
Hi I've been at this for 3years now what a roller coaster! I have a clinging boomerang and it's been the hardest thing in the world. I never thought I would still be here when I first got here I was advice this is a long journey never thought this long. Well here's my story! H 43 M44 we have 27s 16d 13s and now two dogs. I have learned to detached and realize this is his journey but if you get to close its so exhausting watching this play over. I believe monster is gone I see more the teenager still looking for approval. Still has replay antics but still wants the family time which sometimes can feel like cake eating. I do have boundaries I remove myself from something I don't like and make home aware. I recently receive this text from him and I need my forum family help.
H: So just wanted to let you know that I do miss you,and miss seeing a smile on your face,you deserve it,you have always been loving and the best wife.we did stray away from each other, never working on that of the relationship.At times I doubt if the relationship is recoverable because of the past history. Will you always doubt me? Will you always have it in the back of your mind? How will we react to each other physically and emotionally? I'm just a firetrucking mess and surprise you still love me as you do.
M: You are right we never took care of our relationship between work and kids I thoughtl we had it all! I thought that was enough but as you grow you learn that you also are important to each other and must make that time for the both of us! Will I always doubt you no why because I fell in love with my best friend and I know he took no part in this! Will it be in the back of my mind no again that was not my best friend nor my husband! The physical and emotional part takes work takes a marriage and love to work it out! I didn't think you would be surprise to see me still here because you have always known me inside out!
That's how I ended the text.

I don't know if ow is still there he denies it!
My boundaries have been that if I find out in any way he will no longer be in my life! If I don't like the way he's acting I don't reply to phone or text!
I think I have come a long way though I still have my down moments I pick myself up again and put the mask and continue to live life as best as I can. My children keep me going and I do a little gal every once in while. I really haven't had a weekend to myself because he's always around sometimes he will even come around when it's his weekend rarely but he does! Please share your thought about this  text that took place and provide any feedback!

Offline BrenM

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Re: Where Do I Stand!
« Reply #96 on: March 17, 2017, 05:20:49 AM »

H: So just wanted to let you know that I do miss you,and miss seeing a smile on your face,you deserve it,you have always been loving and the best wife.we did stray away from each other, never working on that of the relationship.At times I doubt if the relationship is recoverable because of the past history. Will you always doubt me? Will you always have it in the back of your mind? How will we react to each other physically and emotionally? I'm just a firetrucking mess and surprise you still love me as you do.. We all know why lol 🤣

M: You are right we never took care of our relationship between work and kids I thoughtl we had it all! I thought that was enough but as you grow you learn that you also are important to each other and must make that time for the both of us! Will I always doubt you no why because I fell in love with my best friend and I know he took no part in this! Will it be in the back of my mind no again that was not my best friend nor my husband! The physical and emotional part takes work takes a marriage and love to work it out! I didn't think you would be surprise to see me still here because you have always known me inside out!
That's how I ended the text.

Prdoll you rocked at your replies girlfriend...let me high five you woman 🤚.  If you comments don't pull at his heart strings well he surely isn't cooked yet 😘.  You were concise and straight to the point.  Well done woman 😘
Me 47
Him 47
OW 32
Married - 20 years
Together - 28 years
BD - Nov 2014 - reason for affair said I controlled his life, wore flannelette pyjama pants to bed and drove our family car 🤔
Moved in with Young OW and her 2 kids Jan 2015
Total Vanisher
Divorced Sept 2016
S21, S17, S16 (autism), D14

🌹🌹Let's be real...Bren is the only one who can do Bren. I'm the best Bren on the planet. Trying to turn a skank into a Bren? That will surely end in disappointment, if it hasn't already.🌹🌹

❤❤Family isn't an important thing.  IT IS EVERYTHING!! ❤❤



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