[UnconditionalLove]

I'm sure there are other reasons. Every story is different and for different reason but I'm guessing as in MLC there are some things scripted per say that seems to happen with the affair that ends most of them.  Because many of these men/women didn't show signs of doing this before the MLC and have been completely taken over by it they many of them do, think and say many of the same things. So, their new relationships probably done like that too. I don't know, it's all interesting though.

[barbiedoll]

My husband had an "affair" for 7 months. ( still stings). Four months while he was still at home. When I discovered her, and confronted him, he "crashed and hit solid rock bottom" within the week. He ended it and never looked back . (as far as I know ). As soon as I knew who it was many many pieces fell together for me. I know her . I know her history, morals , track record etc and she would have been easiest thing to sleep with in history. I was right. HE was in the wrong.. I am not blaming the other women , but she invited him to her bedroom within the 1st hour. Some conquest!. And she has done this in the past..in fact has been sexually suggestive to other men in our family. So, I knew immidiately ..she was nothing. It was more proof he was out of his mind . I am astonished how "little " he actually saw her and that she still managed "to love him with all her heart" (puek) . She has an alcoholic problem , was on probation for assaulting her husband, has 2 of the craziest druggy kids and somehow did not mention that her sister died during affair with my husband. ?. This is affair DOWN in a huge way. She asked him to move in with her, he never did. In my case, as soon as I knew who it was.. it was in some crazy way... amusing. So far out of character it was astounding. I am always always shocked that these women know with 100% certainty that they are with LIARS . If you have an affair with a married man, you are sleeping with a LIAR. Yet, they are in some sort of trance that allows them to believe that he is telling them the truth. How does that happen??. I guess a cheating liar is the best they can get. In my case, that is the truth. The best punishment for him.. would have been to stay with her. It would be a close call to see who was more mental.

[Dontgiveup]

From RCR
But most will not survive. And yet it can take a few years. Sweetheart was back-and-forth with alienator for 3.5 years and that is pretty typical for MLC.

[UnconditionalLove]

Yeah, I just don't know much about my H affair.  I know her age, I no she has health issue and I think she's book smart, stresses out,  and yet needy.  Is she a step down from me? I don't know but I'm sure her personity isn't mine.  They will have a more quiet time because our life we were always on the go as both H and I were over achievers and stayed busy.  I've had traveled most of my life singing in churches and sharing my life with people. We know people all over the world. She isn't going to have that. Their life will be boring to him after awhile.  I don't know if that's affair down but I know she ain't me. LOL!

[RainbowGal]

As we are standing waiting on our H's or W's are we kidding ourselves thinking everything with the Alienator isn't going well? I would like to hear from others to how long their H/W were with the A. If it was a bad as we want it to or if it lasted and it's going strong?  Also, to see if there is a pattern to these affairs as there are to our MLC H/W when we are posting about them.

 Once the infatuation hormones start to wear off,things do start going downhill because this is a relationship founded on lies,destruction and deceit.It's demise is inevitable.It's like building a new home on ground with quicksand lurking a few feet below the surface.Looks pretty at first and may even have the appearance of being solid….but it's just a matter of time before the house starts shifting and sinking.However,that doesn't mean the MLC'r will pop out of their crisis right then and there because the shine has come off.Some stay because their ego will not allow them to admit mistake.Some move on to yet another affair partner.Some stay due to major emotional blackmail.The crisis will take as long as it will take.

 In my W's  case it started as an emotional affair…that period lasted almost a year followed by the physical affair which lasted around 14 months.So about 2 years total from beginning to affair end.

 Read up on RCR's articles on affair dynamics and personality disorders.Its very enlightening material.I think that the majority,if not all,of OW/OM types have some level of PD going on.As we all know,healthy,happy and balanced people do not knowingly prey on married people.It's a sick,ego game to them under the guise of "you can't help who you fall in LUV with".These types do not know the real meaning of love,little own unconditional love.

 "Be careful home wreckers, go ahead and mess with someone else's man knowingly. One day your most treasured relationship will be ruined in the same way. Karma!"-Nishan Panwar
 

[Dontgiveup]

Yeah, I just don't know much about my H affair.  I know her age, I no she has health issue and I think she's book smart, stresses out,  and yet needy.  Is she a step down from me? I don't know but I'm sure her personity isn't mine.  They will have a more quiet time because our life we were always on the go as both H and I were over achievers and stayed busy.  I've had traveled most of my life singing in churches and sharing my life with people. We know people all over the world. She isn't going to have that. Their life will be boring to him after awhile.  I don't know if that's affair down but I know she ain't me. LOL!

From RCR's article Affairing Down
Some of you will dismiss the Affair Down scenario when you learn the alienator is an MBA and has a higher paying job than you or your MLCer. Pond Scum is not an intelligence rating or indicative of educational or career level. A Rocket Scientist employed by NASA can be pond scum; intelligence, educational level or career status are irrelevant. Pond Scum is about mental and emotional instability. Some people compartmentalize well and are brilliant in their professional lives while being unable to maintain a healthy relationship. A caring kindergarten teacher can be an alienator. Emotional and mental instability knows no socio-economic or cultural bounds.

[nah]

attaching

[UnconditionalLove]

Thank you Don't Give UP! Great infomation there. I know I have read it before but I completely forget it over time.

[Anjae]

Lasting and being bad aren't mutually exclusive. Mr J OW1 lasted 18 months on the open. OW2 has been in place for more than 6 years. He is always drunk and clubbing. Sounds like a blissful relationship to me. Not. 

[willitgetbetter]

Also wanted to add that not all OW are younger - my H is 44, OW is 51.

H is 52, OW is 66!!! Lol