Author Topic: Mirror-Work Return Stories Part Three  (Read 41945 times)

Offline speed racer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 106
  • Gender: Male
Mirror-Work Re: Return Stories Part Three
« Reply #20 on: August 19, 2016, 08:06:27 AM »
This line from my story about was wrong:
(I think my wife got bored and her boss was pretty well off - and married mind you.)

It should been my mother, not my wife.....

Sorry -

Speed

Offline BrenM

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1182
  • Gender: Female
Re: Return Stories Part Three
« Reply #21 on: May 07, 2017, 09:17:44 PM »
Last return story was Aug 2016......surely this can't be correct?  Anyone got any stories to Share? 
Me 47
Him 47
OW 32
Married - 20 years
Together - 28 years
BD - Nov 2014 - reason for affair said I controlled his life, wore flannelette pyjama pants to bed and drove our family car 🤔
Moved in with Young OW and her 2 kids Jan 2015
Total Vanisher
Divorced Sept 2016
S21, S17, S16 (autism), D14

🌹🌹Let's be real...Bren is the only one who can do Bren. I'm the best Bren on the planet. Trying to turn a skank into a Bren? That will surely end in disappointment, if it hasn't already.🌹🌹

❤❤Family isn't an important thing.  IT IS EVERYTHING!! ❤❤



Vanished Return Stories Thread #1 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9088.0;all
Vanisher Return Stories Link Thread #2 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9378.new#new

Offline FaithWalker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2273
  • Gender: Female
Re: Return Stories Part Three
« Reply #22 on: May 08, 2017, 07:25:36 PM »
My teacher that I work with had some sort of crisis when she was in her late 30's.  She left her teenage son with her H and moved out with her teenage daughter.  She had been talking to an old high school sweetheart in another State.  They got a D and she ended up marrying her high school sweetheart.  It lasted a very short time, and I don't believe they ever ended up living together, as he didn't move from his State.  She got an annulment and she and her former H reconciled.  They have never remarried, but the 4 of them are all back in the family home and things have been good for about 5 years now.  When she talks about that crazy time she has a lot of awareness, so I don't know that hers was MLC or just a MLT or what.

Someone else I was talking to, pretty sure IRL was telling me that her dad gave her mom the ILYBNILWY speech and they ended up living with her grandma for several years.  And then her dad and mom reconciled.
M-40
H-43
S-18
D-16
S-13
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Saw his POF the first month back
1.5y later no signs of anyone new - workaholic

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10630.new#new

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

"If we don't take time to heal, we will bleed on people who didn't cut us."

Offline MsKi

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 35
  • Gender: Female
Re: Return Stories Part Three
« Reply #23 on: May 17, 2017, 12:37:48 PM »
I have a couple:

*A friend of my H had left his wife of many years for OW.  They moved in together and he was planning a D.  After a month, he decided he couldn't do it and broke it off and a few weeks later, went home to his wife.

*A friend of mine was divorced last April and is now in very early stages of reconciliation with her H.  He had moved out of state and they are now looking for places for her to move to be closer to him so that they can start really working on things. 
Together for 23 years, Married for almost 14 years.
Me:  42, H:  44 
Never blessed with human children but we have 3 rescued dogs who are like family.
Bomb dropped in Oct., 2015

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

Offline dumbfounded2

  • MLCer Type: Low-Energy
  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 42
  • Gender: Female
Re: Return Stories Part Three
« Reply #24 on: May 30, 2017, 02:12:17 PM »
My H and I recently reconciled after 6 years of MLC.  The story script is all the same, the message to LBS is clear....detach emotionally, live your best life and try to not engage with the angry MLCer.....I followed some very good advice from his forum and after what felt like forever, my H came home last August.  Our relationship is better than it ever was prior to MLC....he is more aware of his own emotions, communicates clearly and shows me his love and commitment daily.  For anyone questioning themselves, you must make the commitment to your self in that you will not be prodded into the MLC turmoil....as they will do things that will make your head spin, and live your life "As IF" until you find your new normal.  It is also true that the MLCer does not remember many of the stupid, silly things they do, but the LBS will remember (an area I deal with in forgiving and living life forward).  The MLCer does not grovel and beg, although they are clearly aware of the precious family and/or spouse that they sacrificed during their craziness.  I wish the best for all LBS and will be happy to answer any questions.

Offline ChrissYAH

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1040
  • Gender: Female
Re: Return Stories Part Three
« Reply #25 on: June 12, 2017, 08:08:48 AM »
My (x) husband is planning on marrying the wh0r^, so I'm done hoping, I don't think I could ever face him again anyway after everything he's put our kids and me through.  My question is if he does marry the carousel, what will his reaction be if he ever does come through the tunnel or maybe he will be forced to come through it sooner than later if he marries her.

Online Milly

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2336
  • Gender: Female
Re: Return Stories Part Three
« Reply #26 on: June 18, 2017, 03:51:23 PM »
Attaching DF. Your advice is spot on. I am listening.
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D24, D21, S14
OW Physical Affair. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 50 last year.

Offline Never say never

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3347
  • Gender: Female
Re: Return Stories Part Three
« Reply #27 on: June 26, 2017, 06:05:38 PM »
Attaching also, DF.  Please share more with us.  It inspires us.

Offline Whyus

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3087
  • Gender: Male
Re: Return Stories Part Three
« Reply #28 on: June 30, 2017, 05:18:42 AM »
I thought i would share this with you good people...
i was walking through the cantine at work 3 weeks ago and a colleague (also a musician friend who knows W) asked me how i lost so much weight.
I said "Ive been wtching what I at, I work out, I ride Mountain bike and W left me in January". He said "Sit down". I sat and he spoke.

3 years ago his W(was 44) started acting strange. She became distant, started wearing younger clothes and listening to Punk music!!! He (52ish) asked after a while what was wrong and she said that she had met somebody (also 44) and she was leaving him.
He was obviously shocked. He felt something was off and battered the internet and read books etc.
 After a few weeks he said he would move out because he couldnt take it anymore. He offered her the house and wanted to look for a small flat. She refused because she wanted a flat and not the house.
They eventually found her a flat and she moved out. A few weeks later he invited her for a meal. she refused. He said you owe me at least one more evening out so she accepted.
After they had ordered he told her that he accepts that she has left and is with somebody else but he wants absolutely nothing more to do with her. No friends, nothing. Only contact would be concerning the kids.
She cried and left (before the food came).
A few Weeks later she went to the house, had a mini breakdown, apologized and said she wants to come home. He said you can come home but only if we get professional help. she agreed.
At the first meeting the therapist said that the marriage was fine but she was going through a MLC and explained what that meant for her.
It broke her heart but they worked it out together. She is still in crisis but its manageable because they both know whats going on. Now she is home again and the relationship is better than ever. They kept the flat as it was in the city and sometimes stay there on weekends. Sometimes he will go there for an evening alone and sometimes she will.
That way they both get a "Time out" now and again. He did add that he doesnt know who the OM is and if he were to find out he would break his neck  :-\

Hes the force behind my phonecall to W last week! He showed me the way forward. Im not expecting the same result but it made sence to me.

It doesnt ALWAYS have to take 6 years, it can pass quicker.
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline xyzcf

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 9905
  • Gender: Female
Re: Return Stories Part Three
« Reply #29 on: July 02, 2017, 06:58:56 AM »
I had dinner last night with a new friend. She was married for 17 years, had 2 kids when her husband lost interest in her and the family, bought a sportscar, was interested in other women and moved several states away. When she suggested she move there to be with him, he told her no..things were just fine as they were.

She knew very well the pathology of MLC.

Fast forward to 5 years later. He had retired from his position in the military and called her out of the blue one day to say that he was moving back to their home state and wished to come back home.

My friend had to break the news to him that she was getting married and that his return was no longer an option. He seemed shocked by this revelation and we talked about how they seem to think that we will always be there when they come to their senses.

Her second marriage lasted 30 years and her spouse just passed away a year ago. She never regretted her decision. Her first husband married a women who is in her 4 th marriage...his kids don't like her..as they have told their mom he "settled".

So often it has been said that the LBS will be the one to have the final say. We are indeed in control of our lives and the choices that we make.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk
Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.