[TopsyTurvy]

Don't waste your lives praying and waiting for something to happen.  Get out there and live your life.  If your MLCer finds his/her way back to you, then WONDERFUL.  If your MLCer is willing to work and truly prove to you, their sincere regret for wasting ONE MOMENT of their life with you, then why wouldn't you grab that?  If they are not.... why would you WASTE a single moment more, trying to make them want you!

We have to let ourselves live.  If life offers us something better, be it the return or our loved one, or the arrival of a new one, then we should grab it, enjoy it and share ourselves. 

Please my friends.  Choose to live!  Choose to live well!  Choose to live this privileged life you have been granted, as fully as you possibly can.  NO REGRETS, my friends.  All of you have tried everything, if you move on, your God wanted you to.  Make no mistake.  There is NOBODY on this forum that has not and is not giving their Spouse, every possible opportunity to resume their lives with us.  If they can't see that, then it is certainly not your fault.

Hugs Stayed

Wow Stayed - Powerful!  Thank you

[stayed]

Topsy, not that I am DISCOURAGING anybody from praying... to my way of thinking... DO IT ALL!!  Pray, and live..

hugs Stayed

[Blackhen]

Thanks Stayed. Powerful homily, every word a pearl.

xox

[Blindsided13]

Stayed- so true!
We have to continue to move forward and live our lives to the fullest, we owe that to ourselves and our children. These men/women are broken, fractured individuals. The choices they make effect EVERYONE that cares about them. They don't care. They are too caught up in blaming the LBSer for their unhappiness and for the mess they created. We are responsible for saving ourselves, we have to let go, let them figure it out. Hopefully, they will figure it out, reach out and try to make amends.

[stayed]

We are responsible for saving ourselves, we have to let go, let them figure it out. Hopefully, they will figure it out, reach out and try to make amends.

Amen Blindside!  Amen! 

[Wounded Bird]

Stayed: I feel like the words about living your life are just what I needed to hear. I have been asking God to please shut the door or let's reconcile but you are so right. If I'm ready to move on, I need to do so. If H wants me he can show that to me.  I'm in no big hurry to file for divorce but I do feel like my time for being done is approaching fairly quickly.
Thanks so much for your words of wisdom!

[rubyhearted]

I look at it this way. Living my life, learning from this mess of MLC, concentrating on myself are all setting good examples for my children for one (I understand your comment, Stayed, about worrying out loud whether one of the kids would follow in your H's footsteps), for others going through this (if you have read my thread I have my moments of awful but bounce back to positive) and even for H. Even when the boys and I move out he will know that I am living my life to the fullest, participating in my community, making friends and feeding my soul a healthy diet of love, forgiveness, passion, and spirit. As opposed to deceit, drink, and general hedonism.

I have come to believe that part of this journey for me is to encourage others who are going though it. To help them see what an opportunity this is for personal growth. And to support them as their hearts heal.

[stayed]

I have come to believe that part of this journey for me is to encourage others who are going though it. To help them see what an opportunity this is for personal growth. And to support them as their hearts heal.

I love this rubyhearted.  That's exactly how I feel.  If they just have one person to hold their hand and know somebody is there for them, then I am paying forward my due's.  Then, they in turn do the same for another! I do it with pleasure.

Well said honey... hugs Stayed

[stayed]

Wounded bird, there is nobody else we can do this for!  WE didn't ask to be here, but this is where we ended up, so we have no choice but to DO IT FOR OURSELVES.

The rest is out of our hands!  hugs Stayed

[Songanddance]

Copied this from my thread as I think it helps with where you can get to in the "stages"

just a copy of an e-mail I received today from someone who I GALed with from Nov -last week as we prepared a show together. I hadn't seen her since BD and yet had worked with her for the previous 5 years in the show capacity.

She sent me this - so uplifting and encouraging for all of us..

S&D I see you as a stronger person now, than you were when you last worked with us.
 
I firmly believe that when we find ways through rubbish times in our lives, instead of finding ways out of them, that process builds us; it can give our children another perspective on us - letting them see us as individuals in our own right, as well as their parent and a wife. 
If we show them that we still have choices in how we live our life, even when things go pear-shaped, we help them to grow too. 
We can become rounder individuals, 'new' people, resilient and positive.
 
You have always struck me as a bold and courageous person, with huge talent.
I now see in you a freedom that I didn't see before, and the society has benefited from you sharing it with us this year.
 
I'm sending tons of good wishes for the best possible outcome for you, as you work through this time.