[Sunny]

Adnyl so sorry you're going through this. MLC is tough enough without a baby added into it. I would suggest your H thinks he loves OW but is unlikely to remain so. MLC affairs are doomed to fail. Your H is confused and in MLC, more than enough reason to ignore him and focus on you! Like OP says, ignore everything they say and believe half of what they do.

[Magnite38]

Adnyl, sorry it is hard but you need to focus on you. He has made a decision and it hurts, hurts bad.  It is going to be a very long road, right now we are not a priority in their life.  Don't let him mess with your emotions by telling you stuff about OW. Ex left me and was married months after our divorce and there was already a baby.  I think he truely believed he loved her and I am sure he still does.  Time will tell...she doesn't seem like a very good person and maybe he will tired of her...she is quite extreme. This is something he needed in his life, he was seeking change and upheaval. 

[Adnyl]

But oh how I wish the story would end with......he regretted it, he was miserable, he realized he gave up the only person who truly loved him.  The person who should have hated him, yet loves him still.

[Thunder]

Hi Adnyl,

I hope the story ends like that for you.  That he comes out the other side regretting his actions.  Only time will tell.

These MICer's having these poor, innocent babies makes me sad.  So unnecessary.  Birth control is not just the woman's responsibility.  These men also need to protect themselves if they don't want kids.
It goes both ways.
Either use protection or get a vasectomy.  They can't be trapped that way.

[Monkeynuts]

Hi I have just found out my husband is also expecting a baby with OW this time last year we where expecting our first baby together and over the moon, in less than 12 months he left me with a 4 month old for an 8 week fling, move straight in with her, conceived a baby together less than 3 months later, blackmailed me in to divorcing him as soon as he found out and is now taking me to court over access of our son. Then he casually dropped in to an email as the last sentence that they are expecting in 6 months. I'm totally devastated as I hoped and prayed this woman would never be part of my sons life long term, now I'm not so sure 

[Adnyl]

Wish I could offer you support. My H is still very happy with all his choices. To those of us on the outside looking in, we see the sad, craziness. He however has absolutely no regrets.

I'm so sorry you are are going through this. I keep thinking my H will change his mind or she will leave him. But right now it just keeps moving forward.

[gimlan]

Hi all you wonderful LBS:ers,

I'm not standing anymore, and I am divorced and 100% done. My XH has just recently had a baby with OW, and it all felt surreal at first and still does to some extent. I had stepped down from my stand a few months before the news, but the new baby has still changed everything, not least because it has been a priority for me to ensure XH has a frequent and good relationship with our S10. So, basically, now OW is the mother of my son's only sibling, a baby girl. I am working with myself a lot not to let my anger over XH and OW inpact negatively on either of the children. While I would never take XH back (and thereby put myself in the situation of being this little girl's step mum), I am really trying to practice agape love in relation to her. Have not even seen her yet, only pictures, but keep reminding myself that she is my son's sister and that one day they will hopefully love eachother the way siblings can. I also think that I could not put that little girl through what my son has gone through, and I am not sure it would be good for my son to live through another separation again. I will NOT pretend it's easy though!!!! I have felt anger and grief that I thought was gone coming back, so I am now seeing an IC again since a couple of weeks back, and that helps a lot. That's possibly no advice at all, but just wanted to share. I'm glad this thread exists.

Hugs & strength,

Gx   

[Hmmm]

Hi Gimlan,
Lovely to hear from you. I admire your grace and maturity so much. I'm still trying to detach fully but am missing my friendship with H. I think a baby would fill me with hurt and anger.

How does your IC help you these days?

Hope your job is going well.
Xx

[Velika]

This is my worst nightmare with H43 and OW35. I keep telling him he needs to be careful, if she is in her mid thirties she likely wants a baby. At this point given his frame of mind I imagine it would be like a teen pregnancy.

A few years ago he wanted a vascectomy. I desperately wish I had encouraged it!

Hang in therE. 💛

[gimlan]

Hi Hmmm and others! To answer your question quite quickly, I'm seeing a new IC now, one that comes more from a psycho-dynamic and psychoanalytic tradition. I've only seen him twice so far, but we are focussing a lot of me finding my own boundaries, understanding my own feelings and so on, and to recognise anger that is justified (eg of XHs past and present behaviour), what I can learn from it (related to boundaries), but also grief - what I am still grieving (eg sense of belonging to a family unit, both in relation to XH and to my parents' divorce). I'm happy to keep you updated, still early days, but it helps me to structure my thoughts and understand my emotions better. Very pleased with him so far. So, the focus is on me, but aims to help me finding myself in this new situation or something like that.

Hugs & strength,

Gx