[MyBrainIsBroken]

Superman, it sounds like you're doing a great job.

[Lanzo]

D13 is my girl, has been from the word go when we got her home from hospital 3 months after her premature birth. I did all of the night feeds even though I was working full time, xW never once got up in the middle of the night and pretty much left all of the mundane chores of looking after a child to me. I remember that through all of that, I didn’t get a decent night’s sleep until D was about 5 years old.

I too had to go through all of the puberty stuff with D, by that time our divorce was already final, xW had moved out and was with one of her OM’s, she didn’t respond to any of our phone calls to let her know what was happening until much later. Eventually she got round to seeing D.

D is angry with her mother and her OM’s, her response on the possibility of meeting OM’s is “why would I want to meet the man responsible for breaking up our family and robbing me of a happy childhood”. This even applies to xW current boyfriend who she met after the divorce.

D is fully aware of the whole situation, she knows her mother has done wrong, I haven’t hidden anything from her (apart from non age appropriate details). xW on the other had avoids any discussions or starts crying when D asks any questions, yes, that and shouting her down, but never discussing anything.

The only thing that disappoints me is that D will go to live with xW when she eventually buys her house, partly for the bigger bedroom, partly to keep the peace with xW as she know her mother would not be happy if she didn’t move there. Will be interesting to see how that pans out, xW has never lived with D without me being there,  I’m sure sparks will fly and I’ll be getting plenty of phone calls.


Lanzo

[MeNow]

D shouldn't have to live there if she doesn't want to. It's not her job to keep the peace.

[Lanzo]

xW and I had different approaches to this, I said to D, "I don't mind where you live, so long as you are happy there".   xW said to D " you will  come and live with me when I get the new house, won't you". So D has taken the path of least resistance. Plus she get the bigger bedroom and the promise of quality time with her mother. We'll see how that works.


Lanzo

[MeNow]

That's what concerns me - D doing something for the wrong reasons. IMO, it's teaches her to do this in the future. I hope you make it clear to her that it is ok to not do it.

[stayed]

Or that, if it DOESN'T work out, she is always welcome back home with you!  As long as daughter is not allowed to "manipulate" the two of you, so she can have her own way... no harm done. 

Hugs Stayed

[Picton]

Just because you have a diddle doesn't mean you can't be a good parent. It p!sses me off that men are made to feel that they have to prove to us females that they worthy parents. Relax men you do an amazing job at raising your daughters. Follow you instincts - add a good amount of discipline, large amount of fun and a massive amount of love and your kids will do great.
There will be other women, besides you wives, that will be a good influence on your girls - teachers, neighbours, family members, their friends mums.

Please relax, do your best and most importantly enjoy them. The job of parenting is a short one!

Kia kaha - stay strong

[Thundarr]

A diddle?  Lol

[Dji76]

Curious as to how anyone applies the hypergamy concept to mlc affairs when so often it's an affair down. I understand a key component of hypergamy is perception of finding a higher status OM... Which may not be reality. The guys my wife was seeing are losers! They looked physically unfit, don't have good jobs, don't appear financially well off. The 2 I have seen are not alpha males... They don't "get it" per se. I on the other hand and successful, fit, attractive... Maybe mine is the exception but doesn't it seem the affair down is so the MLCer can feel they have control or the upper hand? Isn't it about finding someone they can feel superior to?? That's what i see in my situation.
If I misunderstood and u guys were wanting to talk more about single women your meeting now please disregard my post. I'm not dating yet so I have nothing to add in that area. I am, however, interested to hear about your experiences out there. One thing I've read that made a lot of sense is the idea of maintaing frame in a relationship. I wish I knew and understood that concept years ago... When I lost frame in my marriage it really went down hill fast.

[Songanddance]

Maybe mine is the exception but doesn't it seem the affair down is so the MLCer can feel they have control or the upper hand? Isn't it about finding someone they can feel superior to?? That's what i see in my situation.

Correct - it is also what the OP becomes when the initial gloss and fun bit has faded and reality kicks in.