[Thunder]

superdog,

Thanks or your reply.

I only asked that because my X works in a warehouse with a lot of people and he tells me stories about the harassment issue.

The women who have filed the harassment suits are all young, good looking women.  The men who harassed are all married men.  None of the women were older and none of the guys were single. 

[Dji76]

"When my ex abandoned our marriage it left me profoundly broken"

That's exactly how I feel... Went out last night and had a married female friend tell me she's looking for a relationship outside her marriage and asked if I'm interested. She's attractive, fit, good career... No thank u. I was moderately flattered at first. Now I'm disgusted.

[sleepless]

Attractive, fit, good career, and disgusting. Agreed.

The "profoundly broken" bit is why I feel that only another LBS would ever have a chance to connect with me. 

[Made]

No thank u. I was moderately flattered at first. Now I'm disgusted.

Considering what you (we) have gone through that is a very healthy reaction I think. Anything else would be broken.

[Braveheart]

No thank u. I was moderately flattered at first. Now I'm disgusted.

Considering what you (we) have gone through that is a very healthy reaction I think. Anything else would be broken.

Disgusts me as well, I've run into it several times, met women who appeared very interested, but found out from others they were married. Now I do a google on them with my phone, but even then many of these married women have social media pages with no relationship status listed and virtually no pictures of their husbands anywhere....

[hopeandfaith]

Disgusts me as well, I've run into it several times, met women who appeared very interested, but found out from others they were married. Now I do a google on them with my phone, but even then many of these married women have social media pages with no relationship status listed and virtually no pictures of their husbands anywhere....

Firstly, let me say that the few times I have managed to get onto this thread, I have really enjoyed the guys perspective.  Now I'd like some advice 

H and I are reconciling so the territory has changed and I am still learning the extent of his changes.  He probably is too.  There is a wannabe OW in our situation who has gone to great lengths to sell the virtues of a future with her.  Initially H saw this as flattering too.  It took him a while to push back on her and give her a strong message that he wasn't interested.

She has caused him trouble at work and obviously really pi$$ed me off yet he felt bad ignoring her calls the other day.  What is up with this?  I want to scream at him "are you kidding me?, she is completely disrespecting you, me, and our family by continuously breaching your boundaries"  He tells me each time she calls because he has learnt that it's important to me.  He doesn't speak to her unless she calls from an unknown number and then he keeps it very short, keeps a log of the call and has told her not to call him.  There is nothing more he can DO but I am still really pi$$ed that he had any empathy for her.

I know for sure that, in the past, he had a soft spot for anyone who was 'brave' enough to reveal their feelings.  The  old romantic in him thought it was a testament to their feelings that they would be prepared to bare their souls to someone who is clearly unavailable.  I sense that there is still a little bit of this 'nice guy' on board and it scares me.  This 'nice guy' has caused me a great deal of hurt over the years.  What about now?

How do I get a sense of where he is without it looking like I doubt him.   He (and we) are a work in progress and I swear I have my L plates on when it comes to communicating now.  Any suggestions from the well rounded dudes on this forum would be super appreciated.  Do you think that you guys would have taken this interest from women at face value before you saw and felt the other side of this sort of betrayal?

[Made]

Do you think that you guys would have taken this interest from women at face value before you saw and felt the other side of this sort of betrayal?

Taking an interest in any woman other than my W is a recipe for disaster (and disrespectful to W) and if the situations were reversed I would say WTF. None of this will come to any good, it is always bad news.

[stayed]

Personally HopeandFaith, I don't know why you WOULD NOT DOUBT your h.  Why would you want to hide that?  Sorry, but your spouse betrayed you!  He lied, cheated and abandoned you.  Why would you worry about whether he THINKS you doubt him or not?  Surely he KNOWS you doubt/distrust him!  How could you not?

Hugs Stayed

[bipolared]

Do you guys have any advice on how to guide girls whose dad left them just at the point where they would be having relationships?  We talk openly and honestly and I try to stress that while there are differences b/t the sexes, one is not better than the other-men are not the bad guys. Still they were 14 and 17 when the most important man in their life pretty much abandoned them. 

[MeNow]

For hope and faith,

He needs to cut off ALL contact with OW period. This is on him, not so much OW, because it's up to him if he wants to break it off. He's a big boy. He must break off all ties and I wouldn't accept anything less.