[limitless]

Yes, this is the male shaming that's thrown around a lot these days, it's nearly always taken to extreme examples to throw in the "Creepy" factor as well. Almost no men of 70 are going to be dating 20 somethings, which most people would find creepy, but men 40-50 something will be dating 20-30 somethings.

Fair enough -- I did apply a creep factor -- I've always heard it said that for older single men:  half your age plus seven is the bare minimum to avoid the social pressure of an implied creep factor. 

So for the 40 year old, keep them about 27+ (40/2 + 7), and for a 50 year old 32+ (50/2 =7).  Am I still telling you to lower your expectations?

Hmm with this age group I think you are setting yourself up to repeat history after a few years.
But then what would I know maybe you will be part of the lucky 25% that dont get divorced in the second time around.

It's the problem I run into all the time, hence my current "Monk Mode". A great many women I've run into 42-50 are someone else's MLC wife, either still married or separated/divorced. With rare exceptions most Women over 50 do not appeal to me at all.

BH,

Are you looking for a 50+ year old woman who has never been married?  Otherwise - she would be 1) Divorced/Separated; 2) Widowed; 3) Still married.

There really aren't too many other variations that I can think of.

L

[Mad Hatter]

BH,

Are you looking for a 50+ year old woman who has never been married?  Otherwise - she would be 1) Divorced/Separated; 2) Widowed; 3) Still married.

There really aren't too many other variations that I can think of.

L

I cant speak for BH but interpreted his comment to mean entirely too much baggage / issues still being carried around and not worked on or resolved!

Plus this comment sticks out:

Yes, this is the male shaming that's thrown around a lot these days, it's nearly always taken to extreme examples to throw in the "Creepy" factor as well. Almost no men of 70 are going to be dating 20 somethings, which most people would find creepy, but men 40-50 something will be dating 20-30 somethings.

Fair enough -- I did apply a creep factor -- I've always heard it said that for older single men:  half your age plus seven is the bare minimum to avoid the social pressure of an implied creep factor. 

So for the 40 year old, keep them about 27+ (40/2 + 7), and for a 50 year old 32+ (50/2 =7).  Am I still telling you to lower your expectations?

Not at that level, but you would not believe the flak I've taken from women when I even suggest I don't date women my own age. The ones female friends have tried to set me up with clearly have nothing in common with me , eg. I'm fit, exercise daily, cycle, hike canoe etc. and they try and hook me up women whose idea of exercise is watching "Dancing with the stars"

He apparently keeps getting set up with women who do not have a fitness regimine, are overweight and out of shape, which he obviouly is not attracted to.

Why is it too much to ask for someone to maintain themselves and appearance? Is dedication to fitness and a healthy lifestyle too much to ask? He obviously maintains himself; its understandable he wants someone who appreciates a similar lIfestyle.

[Braveheart]

Op. I'm 42.  I have a youn case of mlc.  What age is "safe"?  As I look at it the next 10 years are risky bets.

All bets are off, if it's not MLC, all of them start hitting peri-menopause in their 40's. For a really scary look at what that can entail, check out some women's forums on menopause...it's what created the need for "Man Caves" in the first place.

[Dji76]

My take away from all this... Stick to women in the younger third of my formula range and manage any emotional investment.
For a laugh: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_VyKFuKYQNc

[Thunder]

Braveheart-Not at that level, but you would not believe the flak I've taken from women when I even suggest I don't date women my own age. The ones female friends have tried to set me up with clearly have nothing in common with me , eg. I'm fit, exercise daily, cycle, hike canoe etc. and they try and hook me up women whose idea of exercise is watching "Dancing with the stars"

I have gotten the same flack from my friends.   I try to date men my age but I find NOTHING in common with them.  I can't fake what I like.  I am very active, love to camp on the ground in a sleeping bad and back pack it in the woods.  Most men my age think of roughing it is getting a motel room.

I love heavy rock music, they are stuck in the 70s or like country.  That is just not me.
 
I would love to meet a man my age who has my interests but I don't see them out there.
The men I meet who have those interests are always younger than me.

[Braveheart]

Yes, this is the male shaming that's thrown around a lot these days, it's nearly always taken to extreme examples to throw in the "Creepy" factor as well. Almost no men of 70 are going to be dating 20 somethings, which most people would find creepy, but men 40-50 something will be dating 20-30 somethings.

Fair enough -- I did apply a creep factor -- I've always heard it said that for older single men:  half your age plus seven is the bare minimum to avoid the social pressure of an implied creep factor. 

So for the 40 year old, keep them about 27+ (40/2 + 7), and for a 50 year old 32+ (50/2 =7).  Am I still telling you to lower your expectations?

Hmm with this age group I think you are setting yourself up to repeat history after a few years.
But then what would I know maybe you will be part of the lucky 25% that dont get divorced in the second time around.

It's the problem I run into all the time, hence my current "Monk Mode". A great many women I've run into 42-50 are someone else's MLC wife, either still married or separated/divorced. With rare exceptions most Women over 50 do not appeal to me at all.

BH,

Are you looking for a 50+ year old woman who has never been married?  Otherwise - she would be 1) Divorced/Separated; 2) Widowed; 3) Still married.

There really aren't too many other variations that I can think of.

L

My point is most of them, regardless of their marital status, are in a mid life transition/crisis, peri-menopause or both....So why would any man who spent the last three to four years dealing with their X's crisis and rebuilt their life want to deal with that kind of drama again?

[OldPilot]

My point is most of them, regardless of their marital status, are in a mid life transition/crisis, peri-menopause or both....So why would any man who spent the last three to four years dealing with their X's crisis and rebuilt their life want to deal with that kind of drama again?

I am sure you nor anyone else male or female would want to deal with that again.

However on the flip side of that you are making it sound like death sentence.

Maybe no one wants to deal with an LBS that is also in crisis.
But I believe that once we are all healed and whole again a relationship at the end of our lives can be
better than anything you ever imagined and will help you live a long and healthy life.

SO the point becomes how do we get "healed and whole" ?

[Seekingpatience]

Just an observation but it seems post MLC women aren't even in the running for you guys why?

There are loads of fit lovely ladies at my Pilates class over 55 who are pretty frisky and feisty

[Thunder]

I just wish there wasn't such a double standard.

If a man finds a woman years younger than himself he is not looked at as a predator, but if women find men years younger they are called cougars...or the men must have mommy issues.

I have always dated/married younger men and never once did I try to eat them or saw mommy issues in them. 

[Seekingpatience]

never once did I try to eat them

Arrgh so many puns so little time....

Glad to know you ain't a cannibal Thunder