[UKStander]

I think it's quite often part of trying to recreate the relationship with mother than went wrong... in cases where smother-love was part of the problem, ie trying to recreate the past and then fix it.

[hawk]

Mine said OW was a female version of him. I don't get why anyone would want to date a version of themselves. If a guy was exactly like me, we'd both go nuts.

Crazy

I KNOW!! And I was just thinking about this: he always said I was the brains behind our operation...and he's the brawn.

I can only deduce from this that there are NO BRAINS in their operation.

Had to laugh Patience . Hey , maybe we should all try that strategy, no brains needed , just live . Sounds like  a plan     Actually that's exactly what l'd like to be living right now after all this.
Unfortunately l have to think and brain strain non stop to get myself out of the sh@t this has left me in. l hate it , l wish l could just walk away .

Anyway , about the same person thing. It does depend on how they're the same person, in what ways.
l know with me , w and l were exactly the same in many many ways and that worked with us beautifully when things were good . And it still does now. But we were also opposites.

But l really couldn't see yours enjoying the control freak nut for too long , well long term anyway.  He will most likely implode down the track at some stage is my guess. When whatever it is right now , wares off. 

[hawk]

Mines also doing different stuff.
She wares big rings now , she couldn't ware rings before. She goes 4wd'ing, l've had 4wd's for yrs , she never wanted to go.
She cut her long hair , which l loved , now it's short and she gets it down every few wks.  Lately though she seems to be growing it long again , even asked me what l thought the other night - whatever that means.
She's riding motor bikes again , there was no reason why she couldn't still have a bike before hell l wanted to get a new one myself.
She's smoking dope again , always told me she couldn't smoke anymore it was knocking her about too much , but apparently not now .
Actually she drinks again too. She use to be a party animal but hasn't been able to have a drink in years because of 4 day hang overs she started getting.
Wonder what happened to those  !
There are lots of things right across , she's basically a different person.
Just lately though , like the hair , she seems to be swaying back to the one l knew more and more . Whether that's another faze or what , no idea.

[patience.of.a.saint]

Anyway , about the same person thing. It does depend on how they're the same person, in what ways.
l know with me , w and l were exactly the same in many many ways and that worked with us beautifully when things were good . And it still does now. But we were also opposites.

We were the same in many ways too, but we were also opposites.

When he told me that, he said she likes all the same music, movies, video games, not afraid to yell and be crazy, wants to do whatever she wants & not care what anyone thinks....and she even likes tequila. I never understood that one because I will drink it in a mixed drink. I guess it's more impressive to him that she drinks it straight up...and LOTS of it. He also described her as more of a drinking buddy right after BD, so I guess that also made her seem like she was the same.

One of them has to wake up first & I wonder who will be more freaked out by what they find. Her oldest is 17 so I'd guess she and her husband were maybe married 18 yrs when she ditched him. Maybe a MLC is another way they are the same...who knows?

[HeartTattoo]

Since we've hit 16 pages here, I've taken the liberty of starting a second thread; second chapter. 

Carry on.  The new thread is here-- http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=6397.0

Hugs,
HT