[i can and will cope]

i know what you mean pofas  i would love to see ow face if i sent her ALL the things my h sent me and told me how he wishes he had never met her, funny thing is he still with her so his loss

i dont understand that bit still how can you just stay somewhere when you tell your son your not happy and tell your wife too but stay with the thing that you blew your family apart for 

[MsT]

I can't imagine speaking to the girl.  The one time I saw her, I pretended she wasn't there, she just stood with her head down while I spoke to husband.

Nice. Nice. Nice.
That's all.

[Kat0465]

Evidently, hubs life with the OW has started to implode. At least that's what our daughter tells me.

He's very different from the man that left here high on love, and his new woman.

Daughter thinks he dosent spend much time with her anymore, guess her husband and kid kinda spoiled the dream.

He's very quiet these days, to himself, and says he dosent make a move without Consulting God?!! And he dosent look foreward, can't see thru the fog. Looks back from time to time. But never foreward.

I always thought once the relationship played out, he would come back..... Wrong!  I don't think he wants anyone at this point. 

Drinking heavily, and it shows. So happy life with ow? I think not

[Head.Held.High]

My H has never looked more sad, depressed or unhappy since I've known him as he has in the last 10 months or so.  Just like a broken soul.  Gasping for air, looking for the light.  Funny I used to be ticked off at him now I just pity him.  He's a sad individual.

Guess the "thrill" is gone for them.  Oh well, have fun with that H!  I've read texts she's sent him and she's VERY demanding and childish.  Very insecure, very untrusting (gasp), oh well, his bed, he can lie in it.

[SwiftCovenant]

Attaching because this subject intrigues me.  Mine still denies his OW is anything other than "a friend" after three years.

[always hopeful]

SC....my W is doing/does the same thing.  She even told me that she knows their R is and will go nowhere.  She still professes her love for me, yet is deep in the tunnel and stays with him when I have our son.   

[Snowdrop]

I think what we have to remember is these mlcers are trying to re create something from their past that they could not deal with at that time.

I think they need these ow to do just that, when they leave us they are in escape and avoid mode, we cant help them go back because we are nice and they cant re create with us, in comes the job of ow.

The relationship with them is meant to get bad so they can get over whatever they are avoiding, they need to create a volatile environment to go back or at least an environment similar to the one in childhood whatever that was.

What we look at is the dynamics of an affair, when really that has little impact, ow is there to serve the purpose of facing childhood issues and you wouldnt want them to do that with you because they would then think it was you, thats why she is the bandaid, she serves the purpose of his healing but in doing so also becomes the enemy, the one that caused his wrongs he has to get over.

No way does he want to do that with his wife who he loves, but yes pretty sure he will also feel guilt towards the ow when it all goes pear shaped.

I pray that OW is like H's mother .  That would make my day!!!  I bet she is.  Makes sense then why we don't understand why they pick who they do - but within themselves subconsciously, they are attracted to the very thing they have been avoiding as it is too painful. It would explain their obsession and inability to leave OW/OM until they dealt with the underlying issue, and when it is done, they have no need for them anymore.

[barbiedoll]

The McFling (OW) that my husband got involved with has a long history of wackadoo wrapped up in a bit of phycho . My husband told her on 2 ocassions " I have to figure out a way to go home and fix my marriage " . She ignored these statements and continue to sleep with him etc .( But then again , so did he ).They saw me in a resturant . Apparrently she said "oh my god, you still love your wife " based on your reaction. He nodded and became emotional ( likely sh&tty pants hoping I do not see him )Still, she pursued him. WTF? What is truly wrong with these women ? Who would do that???

[willitgetbetter]

Having a hard time today. Anyone have any idea the reason for the difference between the ones that admit that they are leaving for OW and the ones who deny her completely no matter whether you disclose factual information or not. Mine is the latter. Wouldn't admit leaving for her or that there was even a relationship. And still won't admit he is living with her or even in a relationship now.

[TurningPage]

I understand WIGB. My H asked our children to meet OW within first month of him moving her here. OW has been married 3x. Of course, H met her through a childhood buddy who's been single most of his adult life. My H's sister said H was the golden boy of the family. But he always stayed over at his buddy's house because parents were "cool and liked to party". The OW involved with H is 42 and has a grandchild. OW last divorce was 2013. H met her Oct 2014. Moved her here in Jan 2015. H said he wanted to be single at BD. But moved OW here within a month. H took S23(autism) into the apartment last week while OW was gone and S23 said pictures of her kids were hung all over the place. I know she wants my house and my kids. It will not happen. She's a habitual home wrecker. So nauseating. Just so sad that things are moving so quickly towards a D for us.