[in it]

 

[MsT]

I'm sure we also had moments when some other guy paid us some extra attention, if only for a second.

I've only had one time when some other guy paid me some extra attention and I was able to resist him. I don't know whether I would have been able to, though, if I had been going through a crisis at the time. I do know that if I hadn't resisted him I would have been going through a crisis then.

AHahahhahaha 

[patience.of.a.saint]

We were taking a break because he monstered at me in front of my parents. I said lets just take a few weeks and do our own thing for a bit. Well, he had beer ball (softball with beers in hand) on Wednesdays. I went one time when he first started and after that I always said to go have fun with the guys. Turns out OW was there like the next week and by the week after, he had been texting. I could tell something was up so kept asking if he was looking for someone else...all the while he says he misses me, but doesn't know what we should do because he doesn't want to yell at me anymore. I was ready to tell him we should work on us, but then he went a whole day without texting or calling me so I looked at his FB account and sure enough, OW was in his messages and they had already had sex. So, I called him and and asked him why...he denied it until I said she's calling you sexy in FB messages. I told him I had wanted us to stay together and work on things. He asked why I had to look and why didn't I tell him sooner because now it was too late. There were too many people involved to let her go...and if I hadn't looked, it would've been ok, but now I knew and he'd never be able to face me again. I said I still loved him & I didn't care about her...just come home. He said she was the female version of him and he had to see where this would go. If it didn't work out, he'd come back. I told him not to take too long deciding & he said he wouldn't. He also told me she told him she had her eye on him for over a year now so he couldn't just leave her! HELLO!!! What about ME? But...he said we were on a break and breaks never end so we'd always be taking breaks so he got to talking to her and one thing led to another. She was married and working on getting a divorce so they shared their miserable sad stories of how they were wronged and that was that. In the meantime, he had been home, but was always so distracted with texting...he was texting her while we were trying to figure out what to do. WHY couldn't she have said to see what happens & she'd be there? Well, because she is a manipulative, insane predator! She had her eye on him and the minute she heard of trouble, she swooped in. According to the cell bill, it took them 10 days before they were busy texting each other. TEN DAYS! He was supposed to be thinking about us and how we could make changes so he wouldn't yell...because it was so random, not anything I did. After 4 years together, most of it very happy...awesome sex life...good teamwork when we did stuff together...it took him 10 freakin days to replace me!

I have forgiven him. His Adderall was not right and he can't tell that himself. He was upset about turning 40 and his son graduating. Life got the better of him and I understand that. BUT...OW did not care one bit that he had a good life with me because she was suffering & sucked him right in with her big red hair & big boobs. I do not have the time of day for her. I've told him to never talk about her because as far as I'm concerned, she does not exist.

[MyBrainIsBroken]

He also told me she told him she had her eye on him for over a year now so he couldn't just leave her!

She was married and working on getting a divorce

Wow! 

[paradigmshift]

I'm sure we also had moments when some other guy paid us some extra attention, if only for a second.

I've only had one time when some other guy paid me some extra attention and I was able to resist him. I don't know whether I would have been able to, though, if I had been going through a crisis at the time. I do know that if I hadn't resisted him I would have been going through a crisis then.

Lol. I was also going through a crisis, the devastation of BD. Had a man with the wrong set of values agreeing to support me financially and proposing that I move in with him knowing I needed a place to stay (I was in really bad shape then, with no money no family no home), but I stood my ground. How easy was it for someone who woke up screaming everyday and then crying the rest of the day as the loss sinks in yet again, to resist such an offer, even if temporarily until she could stand on her own again?

The same happens with people who do and do not cave in to drugs or alcohol or whatever in times of crisis (that can be something as common as losing a job, or something as rare as having your parents shot to death, and your sister gang-raped in front of your eyes). There's nothing special about MLC.

That said, to err is human, to forgive divine. Forgiving is done 'in spite of' and not by downplaying the mistake by justifying a person's wrongdoing with the fog or hormonal imbalance of whatever of MLC, or trying to push the blame on the OW or someone else.

[devistated]

Hi,
    Just attaching.
My W sat next to me in our van, (I have a small Handyman Business)  and texted her om while we drove around.
Then at night would sit at our Kitchen bench with myself and our D(17) not five feet away and have FB conversations with him but telling us she was connecting with her long lost cousins.
 Really.....who does that.

Im so angry at her for bringing this into our Home under our noses.
And she wonders why her D(17) and transgender S(23) dont want anything to do with her.
Duh 

Cheers D     PS I hope Ive done this right not to good on comps.

[barbiedoll]

If you can imagine this ...my husband was in a resturant with his McFling ( OW) and I walked in with my friend for dinner . It was a resturant way out of town and I just love the lake and tress etc. My friend is male and we have worked together as a team since 1991. He is my best friend . He is married with 2 sons and I love his wife and it is so platonic , a real friendship. He knew I loved this place so he took me out for supper.  I was dying and he was a fabulous support although he was extremely angry and just could not believe my husband would leave etc. Anyway, we sat and had a long dinner , tons of support and he had an article he found about MLC that he was reading to me. On the other side of this resturant sat my husband and HER . NEVER did I see them . Perfect hide a way for cheating husbands . But they saw me . ( I smoke , so imagine them watching me go in and out?) She saw me , she says to him "there is Barbiedoll". He says he was so upset, so shook up that he was sick and he could not breathe blah blah blah " She looks at him and says " oh my god, you still love your wife ". He says " is it that obvious. I need to figure out a way to fix my life and go home ". Her response ?. " everyone had a right to make there own decisions " . WHAT . And that is that . Nothing changed . They continue on as if none of that happened . I imagine she is now a sexual acrobat as she has nothing else to hold him . Never did I see them as life would have went in an entirely different direction and I shudder shudder shudder to even think how it would have went . However , I did see her car when my friend and I left . Parked right beside us  ( business written on car ) . I mentioned this to my friend . Told him.. " crap, she is in there somewhere and likely saw me with a man and it will be gossipped thru the family that I am out with a man ". I went home and never thought much of it again. Somewhere along the line , my monster husband ( who was out of the house by now ", said to me " I saw you and **** out for supper , maybe he your new boyfriend?". I just walked away from mr monster because detachment is my friend and tooo stupid to deal with that remark. A week later , I am sitting alone on the deck with my coffee just thinking . I remember him saying that to me . I wonder where he saw me and I go thru a list in my head of the resturants I was at with my friend . We went for dinner every 2 weeks . BINGO. I remember her car at this particular resturant , I know the type of person she is etc etc and had the most powerfull "knowing " / my intuition etc . I knew . I just knew now what this was all about and the pain was ingrained in my soul for evermore . But I knew . He told on himself and has done that same thing several times . But , my point , why would a women continue on with an affair that she knows he wants to fix his life and his marriage . He told her that on 2 different occassions and she just continued on sleeping with him like she did not hear . ? WTF? And my husband was working out of town . Sometimes , he came back on the weekends and saw her, but lots of times he stayed north and working . He always paid for a roomin town, he never live with her . He says sometimes he saw her once or twice a month . ( I know this is true because I watched everything on online banking ) . This is the most ridiculous "affair : I have ever heard of . Really makes utterly no sense that a women would carry on with a married man that wants to return home , barely sees her etc etc . I not down playing what he did , believe me . But why would a women risk an affair with a married man knowing she was temporary and he had no plan to stay . ? I am so confused by that . These women are many bricks short and think nothing of themselves .. or anyone else. My husband dropped her like she was on fire and NEVER looked back.

[in it]

The exow was so moral that she told him "I don't have relationships with married men" So he took care of that ASAP. She also consoled him with "This happens to everyone"
She lasted 4 months.

A good friend of mine happened to talk to her and she said she was involved with a man who only focused on her issues and never his own.

It took her 4 months to figure out what his problem is. It took me 32 years. Go figure.

[Airmid]

... my husband looks extremely loaded . We live in an 750,000.00 Victorian home , vacation lots and had 2 fabulous jobs . ( he quit his ). He is very very handsome , personable and she well knew he was a " rock solid man ". ( WAS... he not that special anymore ) . She saw an incredible catch and went for it from her back. In some ways , she initiated contact with him and most certainly pursued him after the deed was done . My son - in- law said " she was all over him etc ". IN NO WAY is she to blame for his decision... but she is an absolute predator .

Barbiedoll - change a few minor details about the house (we live in an apartment in NYC) and it is exactly my situation.  Eerie how similar.

[nah]

There is a couple at work that are both married and are obviously having an affair.

He is a good friend of mine and is having a textbook crisis.

This "woman" that he is cheating on his wife with is desperate, needy, annoying, and the definition of a "butter-face".  She could not hold a candle to his wife.  Let me give just a few examples of how this woman behaves---

At a gathering after work she mentioned how my shirt was untucked and tucked my shirt in by sliding her hand all the way down into my @ss before I had a chance to turn around.

At a company picnic she was caught in the ladies room washing the sand out of her panties while wearing a short skirt.  This was in front of one the the female managers.

She dresses like a hooker at work but last week wore pajamas b/c it was pajama day at her kids school.

At my boyfriends apartment (a few years ago) she actually attacked him to the point where he had to pin her against a wall and yell for her to stop.  She still grabbed at his "junk" and he had to lock himself in his room b/c she was too drunk to drive.  (There were several other people there at the time and confirmed this story).  After she literally stalked him at work until he threatened to go to HR.

A bartender at a nearby upscale restaurant had to throw her and another (female) coworker out b/c they were making out at the bar.  This was not that kind of bar.

I could go on for pages, she is crazy. 

So my friend who is obviously screwing this nutbag defends her to his last breath.  I call him right out all the time.  I just wrote on my thread this week how he wants me to tell his wife that we were out all night b/c he didn't get home until 6am.  I told him I knew he was with this person but he denied it.  Do MLCers think everyone around them are stupid?  He is currently going to marriage counseling yet I know he is also still seeing this b!tch.  Oh, she "understands him" and "she is not as bad as everyone thinks"....really??