[Lanzo]

Lanzo, it's really none of my business but I'm curious whether your wife was ever abused when she was younger.

I have absolutely no idea, I have seen no evidence to suggest she was, but clearly she has some issue with sex after seeing some of the stuff she's getting up.

Something I haven't mentioned before but apart from the sex video she seem to have this thing about photographing the guy's junk in her hand, I found quite a few pictures of this even going back to the original OM when camera phones were in their infancy. I was shocked by all of this as throughout our marriage she acted all prim and proper and never really got over excited by sex.

Part of the reason I keep half an eye on her is I would really like to find out what her problem is, I suppose it would give me a bit more closure.

Lanzo

Sorry to return to your previous question brain but I was asked the same thing when I very first came to this site, I just found my answer.

Again another thing for my understanding.

 One of the things I read about in MLC is that that the MLC’er is reverting back to their past and is trying  to address un resolved  issues maybe even issues from their childhood. From what I know of W childhood I cannot see anything untoward in terms of abuse or anything like that, in fact her childhood was very loving and caring.

The only thing I can think of was W parents allowed her to live like a teenager, partying late, dating older guys,  sleeping in until the afternoon pretty much until she met me aged 30. Once we were dating and eventually got married all of that stopped.  So from single girl to expectant wife in a short space of time.

 Just recently I read my very first internet post where W was saying she felt trapped in the marriage and wanted to run away from all of that.  Maybe she’s reverting back to that that single lady phase, replay, one more time. Or am am I wide of the mark and unresolved issues are not a factor in all of this.

For this post I’m just looking for some insite into unresolved issues in MLC and how they manifest themselves.

Thanks

Lanzo

So the bottom line is I am non the wiser.

[in it]

The only thing I heard from the ex was he'd taken a wrong turn somewhere when he got involved with me.

As far as the exow? Someone he saw once on a beach at 17. He didn't even talk to her. He tried to justify having history with her.

I told him "Seeing someone's ass in a bikini on a beach for 15 minutes thirty some odd years ago doesn't constitute history"

He's acted about 17 all his life..sometimes 13...sometimes 2.

[toomanytearss]

Attaching.

[Howmanytimes]

My H. OW was a total predator. 

She used his iPad and I have been looking through the google history and knew it was her searches.  She put things like How to cook carrots. . Also googled for shopping re dresses.  My H rarely googles any searches.  One of the telling things was she had googled how to hack into accounts and photo screen savers.

She comes across as so deceitful and conniving.  Anyone who followed my threads around Oct/Nov last year will know she paid for a holiday in Malaysia for them both.  I read an email she sent from my H account to the Hotel they were going to be going to and she was asking to upgrade the room but for the payment to be made once they arrived.  It cost £900 just to upgrade and my H paid for the upgrade.  He agreed to pay for the meals and spending money because she bought the holiday and she then expects him to pay all that money to upgrade a room. 

I will never know how much that ow cost him economically.  I shudder to think how much he spent on her over the years.

These Partner Snatchers are narcissists and money grabbing low lifes.

Take care

HMT

[bipolared]

I wasn't thinking of OW1 as a predator at first as she had written H an email saying she didn't want to get involved with a married man.  However she continued to show up at the same places as him and email him as "friends"!
With OW2-he could very well be lying to both of us but he apparently broke up with her and was trying to figure out our relationship.  I was over at his place a few weeks ago and after he fell asleep a twat shot showed up on his phone with "Miss me?".  He has been leaving his phone out and face up so I'm not sure he was expecting that.  I haven't mentioned it as I didn't want him to get secretive and am waiting to see if it comes out. 
I can't imagine myself ever behaving like either of them.

[nah]

I was over at his place a few weeks ago and after he fell asleep a twat shot showed up on his phone with "Miss me?". 

I have to ask the men on here.  Is this attractive?  Anyone who follows my threads know that I am far from a prude but I would never do this.  A nude photo?,... sure (even though would seem risky on the phone) but a "twat shot" well, that just seems very low class and just plain gross.

[Seekingpatience]

All I can say is may be "that" is the only thing they measure their value as....a disembodied twat.

Sure is insulting to think of what kind of pig $h!te some like to wallow in right?

Gee can you tell I am in anger phase right now?

[bipolared]

I was over at his place a few weeks ago and after he fell asleep a twat shot showed up on his phone with "Miss me?". 

I have to ask the men on here.  Is this attractive?  Anyone who follows my threads know that I am far from a prude but I would never do this.  A nude photo?,... sure (even though would seem risky on the phone) but a "twat shot" well, that just seems very low class and just plain gross.

Thanks for posting that Nah, I was wondering the very same thing.  I have sent H inside the bra cleavage shots while he was on the road but something that explicit seemed pretty disgusting to me as well.
SP, you are probably right about that even if the MLCer doesn't want to admit it about their "soul mates".  This is the same woman who was willing to have a three way with him, as long as it was a stranger and not me.  He even said that that was messed up so I wonder if he found her picture attractive.

[terrified_in_TN]

nah & bp-

  If you want an HONEST answer:  Yes.

You have to remember, guys are VISUAL, and women are EMOTIONAL.  This is probably not what you wanted to hear, but its the same reason guys more often than gals have dirty magazines, look at porn, goto strip clubs, etc.  Us guys, in general, are visually stimulated.

As to me personally, while me and the spouse have exchanged our fair share of "naughty" pics via txts, my libido is so low now a days, it doesn't do much for me anymore.

In my younger days, the physical connection was very high on the importance list; now-a-days, its the emotional one.

Maybe that goes along with the articles on the site where it talks about (in essence) as we age, women become more like men and vice versa.  Maybe our MLCers are hanging on to that youth and don't want to go through that "growth"? (Especially male MLCers that don't want to lose that "drive"-I know that use to scare the HELL out of me).


-T

[Thunder]

I think when a man (or woman) go in their crisis they are very vulnerable.  ANY attention goes to their head, doesn't matter who it's from or what kind of person they are.  It could be an innocent word or 2 said to they but somehow it feeds their bruised ego.  They enjoyed the attention.

When I look back to the beginning of my X's MLC there was no ow, but he had quite a talk with my oldest son.. (who was divorced at the time).  My son set up a meet because he was really shocked by my H wanting a D.
They were always very close and he knew him very well and looked up to him.

My S told me some of the conversation (probably not all) but H was talking about some older, married woman at work who was complimenting him on his body.  He was weighing himself and she said he looked PERFECT to her...while staring into his eyes.  Who knows if that stare was real or in his head but it flattered him.

Then he talked about another time while he was backpacking, some hot (his words) woman jogged through his campsite.  She stopped to talk to him and play with the dogs.  When it was apparent this woman was hanging around a little too long he asked her if there was something he could do for her.  She got a little embarrassed and said..oh no I just wanted to stop and say hi to your beautiful dogs and jogged off.  I think at this point he knew he was getting uncomfortable being with her so long, knew it was wrong and stopped it.  But I also think he felt a stir.

There were a few other instances that happened, but my point is I think he was becoming vulnerable and these few episodes, which were probably innocent, set the wheels in motion.  He started thinking about all these available women out there and the fantasy took hold.  I bet my son was floored he was actually talking to him about other women.

My son did, also, say my H was acting completely out of character.  He was flirting with women as they pasted by, etc.  It sickened him and he said, mom I think you just need to let him go.  He could see H was not himself and worried for me.

So predator or not these MICer's are ripe for the picking.  I blame them completely.  They become weak and self absorbed and just seem to go with what ever they want with no regard for anyone else.  Morals out the window.  These ow's/om's could be anyone.