It has always been amazing to me that so many people from all across the world can band together AS IF they are all in one place to give love, hugs, comfort and deep support to each other.
I can remember back last April or May of 2010, when RCR approached me, asking me to join this board in its infancy and to help get it off the ground.
I wasn't sure what I could do to help make that happen, but the Lord encouraged me to just go with it. He showed me a successful start up; and a successful continuance; as He said it would gain as time went on. And I've seen that come to pass over time; thanks be unto the Lord who has supported me throughout, as He has assisted me in the helping of others.
Without Him as the guiding influence; we would not be where we are, today.
I don't believe in "coincidences"; I firmly believe in His Guiding Hand that I have always stayed open to. I nearly left the internet back in February of 2010, after having gotten an answer I needed; my husband had broken his ankle; and I had so much on my plate at that time.
But He held me firmly in a time of "waiting" for something I wasn't sure of; and though I didn't understand what He was doing; I simply obeyed Him...following His lead at all times.
It was HE who brought me here initially, and it's still HE who gently encourages me to stay.
I've tried to "retire" three different times, once I saw the board wasn't going to fall apart and breakdown; and every time I've been brought back by the Lord who knows MORE than I do.
I won't go through the standard spiel of me not being "special"...etc.....I've been instructed to stop arguing with people's perceptions of me; and to just simply ACCEPT their perceptions...my own perceptions of myself, and that of others will NEVER MATCH...so I will just say a simple and very humble thank you for your thoughts, and let the rest go.
On the other hand, I found a thread that was started in a private area of the board not long after I left the first time..that opened my eyes in ways I never imagined.
OP was right; I had carried so much of the burden for so long, that when I left that first time, more moderators had to be put in place to do what I had done. I don't doubt these would have been put in place at a later time; but I remembered posting nearly continuously for a LONG period of time; mentoring where needed, comforting where needed, supporting; helping people to grow.
I joked about not being able to keep up; and I would often ask the Lord; as I still do now, WHERE do I need to go today?
For what it's worth, just before I left that first time, I did see an emotional "shift" in the board at one point way earlier this year, where it seemed various people were "ganging" up on others.
Of course you could find me deep within the fray; because I will NOT tolerate someone being abused in ANY way. I don't do it, and I will NOT stand for it..and for what it's ALSO worth, those that abuse others, are not much more than children themselves, showing their deep immaturity, so much growing up remains to be done within that person/persons who engage in such behavior.
I saw behavior like this bring down many a board over time; as a house divided cannot stand. Each person is entitled to their opinion, but not if it's clearly abusive to another.
This wasn't why I left, but when the board started crashing on a regular basis; it came nearly on the heels of the discordant behavior I'd been seeing BEFORE I left that first time back in May of this year. There was the "sign" that people needed to heed.
Just as when the Children of Israel forgot WHO was in charge; the Lord stepped in and made sure it was understood that He was the one who gets the credit for the success of this board; and if He's forgotten, He will allow circumstances to bring one down.
I understood it very well; blame servers or whatever; but I KNOW how God works; I've seen it before many times in various situations I've faced myself.
Now that things have settled once again; the board becomes consistent and stable..and it should REMAIN that way as long as people remain respectful of each other.
Bear with me, I'm reflecting on some things, here.
We come here to save our marriages; but ultimately, we LEARN to save ourselves first; owing to the "life preserver" analogy; the one where you get yourself to safety first, THEN toss the life preserver toward your MLC spouse in the hopes they will grab onto it; whether now, or later; and even the "Oxygen Mask" analogy that OP so often uses that came from his experience as an airplane pilot in past years.
This one explains that when the plane gets in trouble, you put the oxygen mask on YOUR face first before you begin helping your MLC spouse.
In each scenario; you learn to help yourself FIRST before deciding what you'll do next.
Each person is at a different stage of growth; some are ahead, some are behind; some are in the middle; some are near the end, some are "out" of this; but each person has a clear contribution that can be made to others.
It reminds me of a time when I walked into a thread, and saw a post that said they wanted to write what was on their minds, but were afraid of being "gotten onto", LOL....I'll never forget the answer I gave to that one; making it clear no one was a "child" and any opinion could be posted; just don't get mad if it's gently corrected or even disagreed with.
And when I think about how people often view me, it's downright scary...I'm considered a "giant" in this world of MLC; I may as well admit it...this was told to me over two years ago on the board I started out on many years ago.
But this "giant" will NOT step on other's feelings, nor will she allow herself to be abused without standing up for herself.
Never allow people to make you feel you don't have a right to your own feelings. I know the board doesn't allow for true expression; and I also understand that people don't read threads the same way I do.
I got a PM for a poster this morning that took courage to write; but they expressed what they thought very clearly; and I respect that in people. If you think I'm wrong, don't hesitate to challenge me; I will answer you with my point of view; but understand I'm as human as you are; and I'm not beyond being challenged.
I'm NOT beyond anyone's "reach" and "grasp"....post your questions out here; and I will answer as best as I know how with the help of the Lord.
Just because I'm "out" of this doesn't mean I am infallible; no one has reached THAT point yet; and I'm not perfect, never will be.
With all that said, I love each and every one of you; and even if I don't post directly to each of you personally; the posts I write are generalized postings intended to help each person with whatever aspect they need to learn.
The Lord will often send me off on various subjects as He guides my writings..but since HE has the bigger picture and I don't; I defer to HIS knowledge, wisdom, and expertise on various aspects of not only the crisis, but within life itself.
Love each other, support each other; and NEVER forget that we are all in this together; no one is any "better" than another. We ALL have the tools to help, hold up, and advise in our own unique ways.
But, conversely, we ALSO have the tools to destroy one another; and bearing that in mind, we must needs to watch ourselves at all times. Be compassionate with those who are early in this; they really don't understand what's happening; but later, with patient and gentle guidance; they will gain what's necessary to walk their journeys to wholeness and healing.
Better yet, respect the right of others to follow the beat of their own drum; as Intuition will NOT always show a clear, well defined path for each person.
I teach the development of Intuition as a precursor to the other gifts that will also come out of this trial as it unfolds. I benefited from this same development when it was me so long ago.
In time, I expanded out in areas that I never expected, but took each one with thankfulness; as God knew what was going to be "right" for me; and He knew what I could use; and He STILL knows, even as He continues to expand me in areas and aspects.
Time will strengthen this necessary gift; and you'll become just like me if not stronger than me in these types of areas. God works with people from a truly INDIVIDUAL level...and I post differently depending on what He gives me to say to each person I'm working with.
Learn to listen to your gut feelings; Intuition; it won't steer you wrong; and it will keep you on the path that was designed for YOU and no one else.
In closing; you can and will reach the place I'm in; don't think you can't...as can't never could; as the old saying goes.
It's a long, hard road, but once walked in full; it is SO rewarding; believe me, I've been there.
Love to you all,
HB
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Merry Christmas