[Courageous wife]

I am 4yrs younger than my H.

OW is 17yrs younger than H.

[Rebel Yell]

I've also noticed that several women make or made more money than the husbands. Probably nothing, but many men would feel like they are not the main bread winner and if would affect their egos (we men have BIG ego problems in case ya didn't know)

[Butterfly]

I do think the making less money is probably hard for the husbands. Doesn't help when their self esteem is already low.

Butterfly

[OnMyJourney]

I'm 9.5 years younger than my h.  He will be 58 next month.  Suspect OW but not sure.

BD & moved out: Dec 30 2010

[HeartsBlessing]

I'll tell you something interesting; reading this thread brought a memory or two back for me.

I'm 4 years and 2 months younger than my husband...he was 37 when he started through the tunnel.

When I was on the other board so many years ago; I was one of the youngest people there at that time...this was back in 2002; the people I was counseling were in their late 40's, early to mid 50's and there were a few that were actually in their 60's.

At first some of the people were mad at me because here was a young whippersnapper advising the elders; and wisdom is supposed to belong to the elders.

In time, when the advice I was giving was actually WORKING for each individual situation; they were more apt to listen to what I was advising...I was 35 at that time...having been 33 when his crisis started.

Here, in the present time; I'm advising people again; only this time, some are older than me, some are actually younger than me.

That's quite a difference from years ago.

On the other hand, OP is right; this is a coincidence that some of the women are older than their husbands...in fact; I did remember reading somewhere years ago, that it's actually good for women to be up to 7 years older than their husbands; as women tend to live longer than men.

Just sayin'


Oh, and while I'm thinking about it; in regards to OW/OM; it doesn't matter what they look like; it only matters what NEED they are meeting within the MLC'er...the affair is all about NEED within the MLC'er.  The NEED to be accepted, the NEED to feel special with someone, an emotional NEED to be loved; even if it is not the right kind of love; even the NEED to be accepted for who they are.

As they are different their needs are different; and they choose someone who meets those changing needs.  They will NOT allow the LBS to meet these needs, preferring instead to get involved with someone who is as neurotic as they are.

That's not to say they won't change back or turn back toward the LBS; but that is how they are and feel for that time in their lives.

Remember they are selfish, thinking only of themselves and their own needs, not caring who they hurt to get them met, even to hurting the OW/OM; just as long as THEY are satisfied, and "happy"..but this doesn't last.

There should come a time when the affair no longer meets their NEEDS; and it becomes unsatisfying to them...and that sets them up for breaking it all down.

Have a good one.

[What Next]

I thought I noticed the age difference also but couldnt relate that to my situation as I am two years younger than H.  I have always earned more money than him during our marriage, was always a touchy subject but I think the last 3-4yrs were more difficult for him as my job began to turn into a career and his stalled.  Not sure if that contributed or not, I am now convinced he was destined for MLC from long before me!

[Still]

I've also noticed that several women make or made more money than the husbands.

This is interesting, RY.

My H's and my base salaries are essentially the same. However, I teach online courses year round which increases my overall income about 20%.

My H and I have enjoyed this extra income for traveling, remodeling, frivalous purchases, etc. It was never something we even compared.

Along came MLC....suddenly he made constant remarks about my earning more, became EXTREMELY driven to obtain a promotion. It was really out of left field.

[CrazyStuff]

I was thinking about this at the weekend.

My h's first entry into the world of MLC - this is his second - occurred after I was promoted and ended up with higher salary plus bonus than him.   As part of trying to recover from MLC 1 I actually decided to move away from my high profile  role to focus on our family. 

H. changed jobs as well, went into a high profile role himself although his career did not take off as he would have liked.

My stepping back didn't stop MLC 2, which is much more destructive than MLC 1.    In fact h. said he was not happy that I had taken my current job as it was not what he wanted me to do!

Oh well. 

Things may come together to trigger an MLC crisis; however, I am convinced that this is something that is within the person and just waiting to come out.     

And not caused by us, not fixable by us and unfortunately not stoppable either.

CrazyStuff

[Chloe1977]

My husband is 34 (started MLC month before 33rd birthday). I am 4 months younger than him at 33 years old. The OW is 29 and looks like she's never seen a decent night's sleep in her life. Both eyes are sunken in with dark circles under them.

[HowLongBlues4U]

I am 7 1/2 years younger than H.
OW is 5 years older than me.
I have mostly been a stay at home mom/homemaker.  Presently a nanny and don't make nearly as much as he does.....afraid I am gonna end up really financially hurting if a D happens.