[With Gods Help!]

My h is definately a clinging boomerang......but i wouldnt want it any other way as i get the choice if when to contact...if i dont he never lets me down.......the longest for Him was 3 days without contact but thats because he didnt have the car and he dropped and broke his phone lol xxxxxxxxxxxx

[hyperglad]

mine too before this 3 days but we are now on day 4 so maybe he will change we will see 

[Mermaid]

The old links for clinging boomerangs don't work. Here's a new one:

http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/mlc_overview_contact-types_clinging-boomerang.html


Clinging Boomerang Traits
Seeks Reassurance May request that you be strong for them, believe in them, not turn your back...
Dependent and even co-dependent
Multiple Returns--or desire to return on multiple occasions
Pursuer Frequent contact which may include begn-pleading
Frequent Touch-n-Goes
Acknowledges the spouse as the spouse
Hopes to return someday--openly or secretly
Possible issues fearing abandonment
May continue to profess love for their spouse
Scared of losing the spouse May verbalize this as losing the friendship or may be more direct and fear the spouse will find someone else.
The first two or three in the list are the most telling traits.

[With Gods Help!]

thanks mermaid my h is all them in the last post........Hg lets see if your h contacts you today mmmmmm xxx

[hyperglad]

I think my H boomerang has lost its cling...he seems quite happy with NC now 

[Mermaid]

For now...

[hyperglad]

Thanks Mermaid keep me on track 

[With Gods Help!]

Hi Hg i wonder if your h is in stage 4 end of depression or already stage 5.... go and HB,s 6 stages it will make you feel better  ive copied withdrawal for you xxxxxx

5th Stage of a Mid Life Crisis

WITHDRAWAL

Now, the Mid Lifer has been beginning to face his/her issues while in Depression, and what they've seen has NOT been pretty. They've done so MUCH damage, and don't really know how to "fix" it, and that has made them even MORE depressed.

So, for a time, they conclude that life is not worth much, and so they "drop out" of life or WITHDRAW, hence the stage of Withdrawal.

It is also during this time, they will navigate obstacles and question themselves, somewhat, working their way toward what is called the "final fears" Not much is known about what the final fears contain-I think it is beginning to accept the death of everything they have ever known, including the death of their "old" lives; AND beginning to accept their own mortality without being afraid of it-Depression sets them up for this journey across an open field toward an archway to face these fears. During this time, they will NOT communicate with ANYONE, not even their spouse, as they are drawn so far within, no one can reach them. They MUST be allowed to continue, with NO interruptions, just like before-they will NOT come out until they are READY to come out.

Just like in Depression, they want to left alone, still processing their issues and the damage they have done to their spouse and their lives, and they make several decisions during this time concerning their lives, job, and marriage. But those WON'T be known UNTIL they break Withdrawal and talk to their spouse the first time

They are still secretive, somewhat asserting their privacy, much like a teen-ager, but during this time, they must be gently but firmly led along, and only when the time is right-a wrong word at the wrong time will cause them to "stick" within the tunnel.

You will see some Depression and Anger within them, they are mostly angry at themselves, but will take it out on you, and there are times you will have to be quiet and just leave them alone; letting them work things out, and they usually will, as the answers, such as they are STILL come from within them, not outside sources.

As they begin to come forward, they will begin the journey out of the tunnel-entering the first stage of Acceptance.

Withdrawal can last from three months to one yea

[hyperglad]

Thanks WGH i have read this before but not in a while...I guess this makes sense because he was so close. we were sleeping next to each other, cuddling, holding hands for a whole week ....then the next day he just didn't come here, no phone call to say , I am sleeping in the flat nothing, of course i got pi***d and told him to stay away  I do have to be more tolerant but once again it is the fine line between the door and the doormat.

LIW lets hope this is where they are at ...I am getting so tired of feeling so drained  and although I love contact with him, when progress seems so slow it often feels never ending 

[Gardenia]

Does a clinging boomerang have to ask if they can return home and tell you how they feel about you?

I think my husband is a clinging boomerang. We have been dealing with this crisis a little over 4 years now. He has an apartment but sleeps here most of the time. Even now that our four children are in school. He has not told me how he feels about me in that time, just mean monster junk. He has never asked me about coming home. He has mentioned it to his sister and brother. He still spends all the holidays with us and even went with us on a family trip at the begining of this month.

I just do not know what to think anymore. I am teeter tottering because I am tired and want a change but I still love my husband very much and still pray for reconciliation, yet I sometimes feel as if I get crumbs from him and its making me upset. A few months ago before school started we actually had no contact for seven days. Then he showed up and wanted to know if I was mad at him.

I guess he is a clinger, but other wives with clingers have their husbands tell them they love them. I have not heard that in years.