[patience.of.a.saint]

Anyone tried that ?

And does it make you feel better or bitter? 

Meeting the MLCer on their own grounds is only going to keep any LBS stuck.  Detach, GAL, apply the rule of 3 , step back, observe and grow!

I have to agree here with Songanddance. Nothing good is going to come of telling her off, plus it will make everything more uncomfortable for your D...and between you and your W. I know from reading your threads that you want to keep it decent for your D.

Just be the bigger person and go with that. Write what you want to say to her on your thread if you really want to get it out. I have written numerous letters to my guy...in a locked journal app on my ipad. It helps....and it's not said out loud for you to regret later.

[hawk]

Yeah right . Well that is good to hear because all this time l've wondered about that sort of thing but nope,l've never played the game once .
Basically l've handled them exactly like you've said right through and just never bother with them , go about my business with my d and whatever type thing. Usually next time she'll be nice as pie again.
But there was one night just a few wks ago , W told me something and l replied with something else and she just said -  " bullsh@t" , but l was amazed at how crudely and how so aggressively she actually said that. It was so not her . 
Later l thought to myself  , geez l wonder who it is she is around , that's turning her  into this harsh , blunt type of person these days . She was never like that before .

Sometimes l think with her , it's as much about just plain old bad moods, bad day at work , money hassles, as anything else these days . She's had so much crap going on .

[Songanddance]

Just to clarify I wasn't suggesting Hawk should refrain from saying anything - I was picking up on the comment that he says he feels like saying ....

This feeling is applicable to all of us - learning to bite our tongues and always aiming to rise above the cr*p that our MLCers give us is tiring.
So the "you" I refer to is all of the LBsers not Hawk per se.

[MyBrainIsBroken]

But there was one night just a few wks ago , W told me something and l replied with something else and she just said -  " bullsh@t" , but l was amazed at how crudely and how so aggressively she actually said that. It was so not her . 
Later l thought to myself  , geez l wonder who it is she is around , that's turning her  into this harsh , blunt type of person these days . She was never like that before .

Depression can do this. It can make you irritable.

[hawk]

Yeah maybe B , damned if l know.  l know you've been saying it for awhile which l should recognize the signs myself anyway because l was depressed badly during our last 18mths. Maybe l'm just too close to get a clear picture.

She was the same tonight , bordering plain rude . She did say she'd had the worst day at work ever though .
l spose one reason l never even think depression is because they leave us supposedly to some new wonderful life bc ours was apparently so bad they couldn't bare it any longer .
I was thinking just tonight , even in our last 3 or 4yrs though it was often hard to be nice to her . She was nowhere near as bad as she is now though.

[MyBrainIsBroken]

l spose one reason l never even think depression is because they leave us supposedly to some new wonderful life bc ours was apparently so bad they couldn't bare it any longer .

Depression is a big part of MLC. But they don't understand depression. They interpret it as being unhappy and they decide it must be our fault. So they go looking for happiness. And sometimes their Replay behaviors make them feel better by self-medicating the depression so they think they were right, that they were unhappy because they were with us. But eventually the depression comes back. It has for my wife and I think it has for your's, too. Still, you're there on the scene so you're in a better position to judge.

Also, I know you said your wife was early menopause. When was that and is she over it yet? That can sometimes make women irritable.

[patience.of.a.saint]

I was going to say that too...changing hormones can really do a number on us. I can tell it in myself, but I've learned to be aware of it. I would have to wonder if a person in a depression would pick up on that.

Also, does she drink anything with caffeine? I can drink a bottle of pop one day, and the next day, at about 24hrs after I drank it, I can be less than pleasant. It only happens for a short while...and not at all if I have a pop more than one day in a row...or not at all...just happens the day after the last time.  I try not to drink it at all, but it happens some days.

There's so many things that can cause it to happen...just know that it is not you.

[StillStanding]

l actually wouldn't mind having a clinger . At least you know they haven't forgotten you and are having trouble deep down leaving .
Could call mine a few things but clinger she's not . That just makes you feel like sh@t . like they've just walked off , new life , gone and forgotten.

Seems like a case of "the grass is always greener on the other side."

Clingers and boomerangs can drive you crazy with their back-and-forth, in-and-out of your life, and trying to stay off of the rollercoaster can be a full-time job. Watch them slip on the mask and pretend like everything is normal when around friends and family, while they've frozen you out emotionally. I've heard my wife actually say the words "I love you" less than a dozen times in the last five years, and most of those were to other family members. I can count the number of times she's said it to me on one hand, with fingers to spare.

It's been 4 1/2 years since my wife moved out and told me that she would be filing for divorce. When I talked to her about us in February, she said that she needed quiet time to figure out what she wanted and wasn't sure. Quiet time? She's had over four years on her own to figure things out. If you count the time when she lived in our spare bedroom and was having an online emotional affair, and we're getting close to six years.

I find my solo life is easier to manage when she isn't around. I'm able to keep my finances in order, I get out and socialize on a regular basis, and I dropped almost 40 pounds since she left—though about 10 of them have crept back on. I go where I want and I can watch whatever I want on TV or at the movies. I took a trip to Indianapolis last year that I don't think I would ever have done if we were still together (at least the way things were before).

The only thing I don't have in my life is a partner. I still wear my ring, because I'm still married. I don't date, and I try to stay away from situations which may compromise my Stand.

[patience.of.a.saint]

Clingers and boomerangs can drive you crazy with their back-and-forth, in-and-out of your life, and trying to stay off of the rollercoaster can be a full-time job.

Staying off their roller coaster has to be the hardest part. It seems easy enough to get off, but all it takes is one visit and you're back on that thing again! You eventually learn to ride it and can anticipate the ups & downs, twists & turns

[ceecee2]

Are most clingers cake eaters? They still want you to be in their life but not willing to give up their "new" lifestyle either?