Skip to main content
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 10  All   Go Down

Author Topic: MLC Monster Clinging Boomerangs

u
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 839
  • Gender: Female
MLC Monster Clinging Boomerangs
OP: January 10, 2011, 12:51:53 PM
This is really just a question.  RCR talks a lot about Clinging Boomerangs.  What other types are there? 

EDIT:
Link back to contact types to register your MLC type
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1530.0
Oldpilot
  • Logged
« Last Edit: April 11, 2012, 05:28:30 AM by OldPilot »
L
  • *
  • MLCer Type: Clinging Boomerang
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 954
  • Gender: Female
Re: Boomerangs
#1: January 10, 2011, 01:09:08 PM
would also love to hear more on this! my h hasnt been "back", but at times it has been as if he never left...ie being here and doing the things a couple or family would do...

he also cuts grass, shovels snow fixes and builds things...the list goes on...but then the subject of divorce gets thrown in for a loop again...

sorry not much input, but you arent alone! I dont know if I would describe my h as clingy either, it just like when he is here...it is still like we are "real" h and wife and then the s@#! hits the fan, like he is too close or something...

hugs,
L
  • Logged
2 years since he left... divorce was filed a year ago, nothing going on right now. Seems like he and OW are done...will take some more time! Seems comfortable being around me and the girls. Relaxed without her, but does not want me...or anyone else...all that matters are his daughters...

Devoted wife and mother.
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1281
Re: Boomerangs
#2: January 10, 2011, 01:54:12 PM
RCR has a lot of info in the articles and in the newsletters. She explains it best! I think it is under contact types...
  • Logged
"Midway upon the journey of life, I found myself within a forest dark For the straightforward path had been lost"

my story
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2139
  • Gender: Male
Re: Boomerangs
#3: January 10, 2011, 01:57:56 PM
Article on contact types:
http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/mlc_overview_contact-types.html

Article on clinging boomerangs:
http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/mlc_overview_contact-types_clinging-boomerang.html

If RCR has expanded discussion about off-and-ons or vanishers, I can't find the articles at the moment...
  • Logged
« Last Edit: August 23, 2012, 10:54:20 AM by OldPilot »
Me: 45, Her: 40. Married 16 1/2 years, together(-ish) 20.
Status: BD 8/25/09, she moved out 8/28/10. No talk of D.

Every day is another chance to get it right.
http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html

"Counting days won't buy us years" —Wings by HAERTS
"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."  —Lily Tomlin
"When we commit to our lovers, we implicitly promise to forgive them. There is no other way we can live with someone for better or worse or until death do us part." —Dr. Frederic Luskin
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2139
  • Gender: Male
Re: Boomerangs
#4: January 10, 2011, 07:35:07 PM
I don't think he's in his own special category.

There are going to be shades along the spectrum of Boomerang / Off-and-On / Vanisher. If one spouse makes contact every 4 weeks and another spouse makes contact every 6 weeks, it's still the same thing.

From what I was able to get out of your story, he sounds like a Vanisher. Gone for long periods of time but checks in every once in a while.
  • Logged
Me: 45, Her: 40. Married 16 1/2 years, together(-ish) 20.
Status: BD 8/25/09, she moved out 8/28/10. No talk of D.

Every day is another chance to get it right.
http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html

"Counting days won't buy us years" —Wings by HAERTS
"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."  —Lily Tomlin
"When we commit to our lovers, we implicitly promise to forgive them. There is no other way we can live with someone for better or worse or until death do us part." —Dr. Frederic Luskin
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2837
  • Gender: Female
  • Smile, people wonder what you've been up to.
Re: Boomerangs
#5: January 10, 2011, 07:40:11 PM
No he's a shade of something.
We are talking about humans here and we try and slot them and they never really fit perfectly becasue they are human!!
  • Logged
You must do the things you think you cannot do.
R
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1251
  • Gender: Male
Clinging Boomerangs
#6: January 14, 2011, 11:05:00 AM
New thread discussing the options for Clinging Boomerangs.
My wife contacts me every day. We eat lunch together most week days.
Has told no one at work we are separated. Introduced me just yesterday to a co worker as her husband.
  • Logged
« Last Edit: January 14, 2011, 01:01:38 PM by Rollercoasterider »
HE>i
L
  • *
  • MLCer Type: Clinging Boomerang
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 954
  • Gender: Female
Re: Clinging Boomerangs
#7: January 14, 2011, 12:16:15 PM
FWIW,

my husband also contacts me everyday...he uses the kids as an excuse, but most days, doesnt even talk to them.

we eat together frequently, when he is home off of the road...he is a trucker...stays here at times  and goes there at times, sometimes in the bed...others on the sofa

I have read RCR's writings about this, and dont know if I completely comprehend...people know we are separated...some people, not all...and for those that do, they think he is crazy for leaving, and that im just as crazy for putting up with his shat!

who knows...hopefully someday we can all fully begin to understand...
hugs,
L
  • Logged
2 years since he left... divorce was filed a year ago, nothing going on right now. Seems like he and OW are done...will take some more time! Seems comfortable being around me and the girls. Relaxed without her, but does not want me...or anyone else...all that matters are his daughters...

Devoted wife and mother.
  • *
  • MLCer Type: Clinging Boomerang
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 483
  • Gender: Female
Re: Clinging Boomerangs
#8: January 14, 2011, 12:35:46 PM
My H is a clinger too.

Visits every day. Eats with us sometimes. Asks me not to give up on him, frequently asks to come home, but doesnt actually do it.
Tells me he loves me and admits he can't stay away. Occasionally we do things as a family and in the summer he joined us on holiday.

Also, all his mail is still delivered here. His pre MLC clothes, his work computer and land line. Some people know we are separated but a lot of people including some of his work colleagues do not know he is not living here. He still carries a photo of me in his wallet, I saw it the other day.!

Most of our family can't understand why I put up with it. I wonder myself a lot of the time.
  • Logged
M67  H59  T20  M19
D29  D27
Bomb Drop 10/09     Left home 11/09
Back Home 01/22


Glimmer - To shine with a faint light
A vague understanding, A remote possiblilty of hope.
w
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1992
  • Gender: Female
Re: Clinging Boomerangs
#9: January 14, 2011, 12:45:08 PM
I wish mine was more of a clinging boomerang right now. It's hard not to know where there are and what they are up to. I guess it's for the best.
  • Logged
Me  53
H  68
Married 23 yrs
BD 8/10
OW 10/10 Gone 7/11
8/11 home again
8/12 Reconnecting
11/13 Rebuilding a stronger marraige


Old name: Wondering what to do
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 10  All   Go Up
 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.