[I am curious if anyone elses MLC has wanted to be intimate, and if so, what did you do?]

I am curious if anyone elses MLC has wanted to be intimate, and if so, what did you do?

In the beginning

9 (52.9%)

Never

5 (29.4%)

Occasionially

2 (11.8%)

On memorable occasions

0 (0%)

Always, has never stopped

1 (5.9%)

Total Members Voted: 17

Voting closed: January 25, 2011, 05:36:04 AM

[Voyager]

Hi T
There's a whole minefield of issues here, but a word of warning, if it does come to ML again after reconciling, or even before, LBS must make sure their spouses have been checked out and safe sex must be observed.
I made the mistake of not doing either of those things. My H and I ML shortly before he left.

He left me with an STD as a parting present, i didn't know about any OW's at that point. Unfortunately, he may have gone for good, the STD will never go away. Now in future if i go on from Standing and have a new R, I will have to inform my new partner...a real icebreaker huh?

Their selfishness is unbelieveable, don't make any assumptions.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[heartbroken]

Excellent Subject because I was recently told by my PI that the OW in my husbands  life is trailer trash/$l()t.  A local Sherriff in their town where they are living also said he knows her and she had a really bad reputation in school, said she was a $l()t.  She has never been married and she has 2 kids by I believe two different men and they were taken away by the courts.  Now my husband ditched me in a 10 minute phone call in February and that same week before he ditched me he signed a lease on a new home with her and the following week they moved in together.  He all along is telling me he is all alone that there is no one else.  This OW also started working where my husband works at the end of Oct. last year so he doesn't even really know her.  The Sherriff told me that my H really needs to watch out for STD's.  So today my H was served.  Today it was just for custody of our son and monetary issues saying he can't cut off the money.  Well he did.  His check did not go in the checkbook today like it has for years.  This is all so disturbing.  How does a man that I have been married to for 19 years, living together for 24 years abandon his family in a 10 minute call, move in with OW he hardly knows and she is, well, you know, trailer trash and probably has STD's.  And how did he think I would ever let our son who hates him now anyway, how did he think he would ever be allowed at his house with her, when she has lost custody of her own kids.   Everyone that knows us said he is just burying himself in a hole and it's getting deeper and deeper.  They can't believe the horrible dicisions he is making with his life.  Another thing, my H runs all these dealerships.  So when this relationship blows up, how the heck is he ever going to get rid of her.  He lives with her, she is on the lease so he can't throw her out and he can't fire her for no reason because she will probably sue the dealership for sexual harrassment against him.  She loves the life he has set her up in.  She grew up in a trailer so she doesn't want to leave that beautiful house or her job.   His boss is going to kill him because he made a rule a few years back that he doesn't want any relationships going on within the dealerships because it causes so many problems.  He is like a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode.  I sent him an e-mail today letting him know that I know of his secret life he has been living and that I knew about his new love and I told him how she lost custody of her kids.  Public Record.   I really doubt that he knew about that.  I have to wonder how much he does know about her.  After being served and then my e-mail he is probably ready to kill himself.  I hope not but wow, that is alot for someone to take in all in a day. 

[LoveMeMyself]

Very good discussion.  I questioned my exH regarding this very thing when I discovered his affair.  The OW had a live-in boyfriend when they got involved.  She couldn't dump boyfriend because he provided her with a vehicle (her credit was in the toilet and couldn't afford her own).  So, as soon as my ex left me he bought her a vehicle so she kicked boyfriend to the curb.  Well, I had to ask ex if he had been intimate with her prior to leaving me.  He said no, but do I believe him? I honestly don't know.  I also told the idiot that having sex with her meant he was also having sex with all the other men she slept with.  This OW also had a reputation of "putting out" very frequently.  She was/is a "man user".  So, I'm not sure if my exH had sex with his second OW, but I wouldn't put it past him. In the defense of the second OW, the poor thing was so desperate for a man that she believed all his lies.  She was truly not the typical OW.  She had no idea she was involved with a married man.  I have to ask myself, why would any woman get involved with a man (married or not) who just had an affair?  I know for a fact that my exH lied to this poor pitiful woman.  Their relationship didn't last any longer than the first one.  At this point, I do not know if exH is involved with another woman.  I know for sure being intimate with him again would be ONLY after he was tested and we took protective measures for a while.  I've heard that some STD's can be "dormant" and not show up for 7 to 10 years.  Any truth to this?  These men who do this so stupidly deserves their "tally whacker" to fall off!

[readytofixmyselffirst]

I feel totally off topic as I have not had sex for such a long time that even mentioning the word gets me going. My issue really began with Buggy's plaid dress and necklace. Then InItForTheLongHaul took everything to the limit describing her red dress and swimsuit.

If you don't mind, I am going to start my own thread, "What I wore for Ready Today!!!!"

Now onto serious business. STDs and Hepatitis and other diseases are very scary. Most MLCer do not have protected sex (think Buggy and Writing Mom and a few other pregnancies). Also, if the MLCer is involved with OW, then you are not making love, you are just having sex and I think that only eats at your low self-esteem and kills your ability to detach and to pave the way.

I just know that I am not engaged with my w or anyone else. I may have my faults, but cheating is not one of them. ((((Hugs))))

[LoveMeMyself]

Wow, Ready.  You sure know how to make a girl laugh! 

I agree with you.......it is just plain SEX with the OW/OM's.  There's nothing romantic or meaningful about it.  Makes me sick!! My exH has told me that he hates what he did and wished he had not had sex with her.  How can he get past the shame and guilt of what he did?  Unless he deals with it directly, it will rear it's ugly head throughout his life.  I pray for ALL of them!

[Dontgiveup]

I hear ya Ready.....

When Rebel Yell posted about the time not too long ago when he unfastened his wife's bra to give her a backrub, I remember thinking it's been so long I would need an instruction manual just to do that.

Such a wonderful journey.

[limitless]

DGU,
Actually the newer bras can be unfastened by using only your eyes!

(Kidding, kidding).

This post is heading to the gutter....so I will stop writing NOW.

L

[readytofixmyselffirst]

Nothing wrong with the gutter.

[Shantilly Lace]

Some of us look to the stars while in the gutter.

[readytofixmyselffirst]

Thats is why SL, you will always be my kinda woman!!!!