[Dji76]

Ill start by admitting i havent read every post on this thread. That said, my x was perscribed adderall by kur pcp and she completely changed within a few weeks of taking it. I have no doubt it kicked something off in her and as far as i know shes still taking it. Sadly we just have to accept there is nothing we can do for them cuz THEY DONT WANT OUT HELP. We could have the exact answer that would fix everything and it wouldnt matter... They dont want to be fixed and if they did we are the last people they would want the answer from. Gotta step away and let her go Thundarr.

[hawk]

Mine was early menopausing , 39, seeing shrinks,counselors, popping all kinds of junk, deeply depressed and also back to smoking heaps of dope.
Dope alone usually sent her into serious tail spins especially if she kept at it but on top of all the rest , l hate to think where her head was when she dropped bd.
But l know to she's still popping heaps of stuff 2yrs non stop, right through all this so , these days l'm starting to think any of that was nothing to do with this. She just wanted out then regardless and apparently she still does so , damned if l know.

[LisaLives]

T, love you dude.  Am traveling, so briefly, I was worried it had been too long and you took it wrong!  I seldom post since no one knows me anymore, and even when they did I pissed off people too much.  I am you T, with boobs, I know the tendencies and the pitfalls and my friends keep me in line ;-)...  Keep it real! 

[Thundarr]

T, love you dude.  Am traveling, so briefly, I was worried it had been too long and you took it wrong!  I seldom post since no one knows me anymore, and even when they did I pissed off people too much.  I am you T, with boobs, I know the tendencies and the pitfalls and my friends keep me in line ;-)...  Keep it real!

 

[Anjae]

I was also expecting an interesting debate thread. Turns out you are trying to fix your wife, Thundarr. Also, that is a link for Fox News, hardly the most impartial and credible news outlet out there.

I'm not going to dispute that antidepressants, or other meds, can provoke mood and/or personality alterations. Nor that doctors, and that includes psychiatrist, can misdiagnose a mental disorder, but you are all over the place T.

Your wife has a doctor, and, like others have said, it is dangerous to go off antidepressants cold turkey. What you have wrote about your wife pre BD is pretty much MLC script. Remember that MLC mimics bipolar.

So, yes, all that you need to do is nothing. Can you stop trying to rule and control your wife's life?


Thunder, Bipolar, being a mod disorder, can appear, and be diagnosed at any age. Personality disorders are the ones who do not show up (or hardly ever) after early 20's.

OP, a friend of mine of is a psychiatrist, did a study and essay on Abilify (aripiprazole) on bipolar and, yes, it seems to be effective. But Abilify is not an antidepressant, it is an anti-psychotic. The other med who seems to have good results in bipolar is lamotrigine, a mood stabilizer.

Zoloft is an antidepressant. Sometimes bipolar (and other conditions) require a combination of all this times of meds and some others. Also, as I think you all know, the types of meds have different substances and people react differently to each substance, or combination of substances. And, of course, dosage.

[toughtimes]

Interesting to read along here. MLC mimics bi-polar and NPD and so it is confusing and I can see how people diagnose their MLCers, a therapist friend asked me if my H was bi-polar shortly after BD because she saw his behaviour as manic. If you read that post from R2T describing a first manic episode that really could be the MLC at the beginning couldn't it? I have read a great deal about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and was concerned that my h is actually NPD. I think that the Narcissistic behaviours I have seen and see are a result of a midlife crisis and not something that has always been the case, but I still worry. As you say Anj, PD are diagnosed in early adulthood.

I understand your inquisitiveness and need to understand the riddle of midlife crisis Thundarr, for many of us this is why we are here. R2Ts post resonated with me, I have weeks where I am detached and focussed on me and then I have this blip where I find myself reading all sorts online! 

The grieving process is long, as is MLC. I am 3 and half years in and still grieving. I am sometimes still preoccupied by thoughts of my MLCer and somedays miss him terribly. There is not a day that goes by when I don't think of him and what happened. I have two small kids so the reminder is constant. (reading that back sounds like a person who has lost a close loved one, someone working their way through the grieving process!!!) I can see that detaching and letting our MLCers live their own lives, is all that we can do. Thundarr you seem to have lots of contact with your MLCer and it sounds like there has been movement so it seems like you can be there for her and advise her on things. But I agree with others, advising to stop medication cold turkey is dangerous and I see their advice of waiting for someone to come to you for help is the best way to go.

[elray]

Thundarr,

My W,also, has been on ADs for 10 plus years.  I do think they cause issues over the long term.  ADs FOR LIFE is not the intended usage plan for them, and yet, more and more of us are hooked on them.  Americans love the simple solution of taking a pill.  If a pill existed to lose weight, they would take.  A pill for sex, sign us up.  A pill to make us happy, the line goes around the block.  Too bad the only pills we have make us not AS SAD as before.

My more generalized view is that a person willing to take a pill to solve a depression issue, AND DO NOTHING ELSE, is a person that has no desire to get to the root of their issues.  This may be a red flag for a person headed into an MLC.  By ALL MEANS, if you are prescribed the Rx, use it. But don't fall for the "a pill will fix it" lie that big Pharma loves to sell us.  Go dig at the roots of the problem, and have a plan to come back off the meds.

The changes I would advocate is to tie AD prescription issuance to some mental health care; maybe restrict long term RX from GPs --  but that would hurt big Pharma's earning engines -- not a chance that will happen.
   

[Thunder]

elray, it's funny you would say this.  I briefly went on AD's years ago when my kids were little but I had no idea I was depressed.  Didn't know what was wrong, I was just so very tired all the time.

After being on them for 10 days I felt like a black curtain had lifted and I saw the problem/problems and worked them out.  Never took them again.

So yes if you need them, take them.  But as elray said don't stay on them, fix the problem/problems.  Face them and work them out.

I would expect most people on here are taking them to get over the shock and sadness of their marriage breaking up.   It's ok to use them for that if it helps you cope but then do things to get yourself healthy again.  Work on YOUR happiness.