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Author Topic: Discussion Class of 2011 biyearly update

R
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Discussion Class of 2011 biyearly update
OP: September 19, 2015, 03:16:14 PM
Hi I would like to hear how the Class of 2011 are doing....if your BD was in 2011 where is your MLCer right now? High energy replay? Vanisher? Reconnecting? Still with the original OW? Does your MLCer have a job? Has he moved away? Do you still have contact with him?
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Re: Class of 2011
#1: September 19, 2015, 05:53:27 PM
Class of 2011 alumni here.  We have regular contact and she has yet to admit to an OM.  She's working at the same job but actively seeking a new one.  She's a Clinging Boomerang now after being a regular Boomerang much of the last 4 years.  She seems to be connecting with the kids in a major way now after being a "good-time aunt" most of the past 4 years
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One day at a time.

Thundarr
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Re: Class of 2011
#2: September 19, 2015, 06:45:26 PM
2010-2012
Went back Post divorce
Didn't work

BD 2  April 2013 Assaulted as I was leaving. Emergency room visit.
No contact with ex or children for 2 years
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
T
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Re: Class of 2011
#3: September 19, 2015, 07:51:05 PM
BD was January, 2011.  I first came to HS in Feb., 2011.

Ex immediately moved in with OW right after BD.  I stood, but ex never wavered.

Divorced me in August, 2013.

Married OW in June, 2015.

Very little contact.  Last spoke to him 5 months ago. 

Don't really believe in MLC "stages" anymore. Or, if I had to choose, I'd say ex is, and will die, in replay.  Ain't never leavin' OW.  His ego couldn't take it.

Really and truly coming to believe ex did me a big favor. . .

It gets easier.  But takes time--and NC.

TMHP
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M 40 yrs.
BD 1/11
Began living with OW 1/11
Divorce final 8/13
Ex married OW 6/15

God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change; the courage to change the one I can; and the wisdom to know it's me.
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Re: Class of 2011
#4: September 19, 2015, 08:01:12 PM
BD July 2011. He moved out to his parents' basement August 2011. OW outed November 2011. What a year!

He was a clinger through September 2012. He filed for the D then. Marriage itself was ended June 2013, but we still do not have a settlement or a final decree. We spoke in court that day in 2013 and he was clearly still in replay with lots of confusion, but no monster at me. Sometimes monsters through lawyers but nothing in over a year. I believe he just wants to avoid. He still lets his presence be known to me online every now and again though through joint accounts we share or on my website's tracker. He's lost many friends and cycled through a lot of different identities in this time. I have no doubts this is not in any way about my marriage.

By all accounts he and the original OW were married earlier this year, but details are vague. He moved to her state in 2013 around the same time as the hearing, and she filed for D from her H the following day. They live in a house in her name with all of her grown children and a huge menagerie of animals. Creditors call for him sometimes, but they do for me, too! ;) MLC is expensive.

Will he come out of this? Something in me still believes it, but I look at the future as a clean slate. I would like to be a bystander to witness the ending of this that I've heard so many nice things about. ;) That's about my only goal outside of financial stability and business success right now.
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c
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Re: Class of 2011
#5: September 20, 2015, 02:53:13 AM
BD Jan 2011 but unfortunately had a short dip of the toe into it with Bd 2005, no known ow that time and home after several weeks, I never knew about mlc back then.

 Still in replay, same ow, same job.

Moved in together after 1 year, bought house together almost 1 year ago.

Travels all the time for work so never with ow more than 2/3 days at a time, he doesnt need to do all the travelling??

Divorced recently, he filed, I believe ow pressure and likely ow now working on marriage.

I have witnessed small crazy about her, she threw him out recently but it didnt last and she sounds like she loses it very easily.

What a party to get invited into urgh!! but you do learn lot about yourself.

x









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T
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Re: Class of 2011
#6: September 20, 2015, 03:28:41 AM
BD in November 2011. She moved out in March 2012 and bought a house just down the street for her "fresh start" in life  ??? ??? ??? Still have contact because of the kids but I try to limit contact unless it's important - maybe once per month. Mostly by text.

She went through a flurry of OM in her first year - really anything that had a heart beat. Been with the current OM for about 2 1/2 yrs. From what I understand no one really likes him; not someone of any substantive character as far as I can tell.

She's put on a huge pile of weight; heaviest she has ever been. I can see it in her that she's still very much miserable. No sign of any movement whatsoever though - still running. If she does ever come through this, I don't think her pride would allow her to knock on my door.

I'm not waiting for her anymore. I have a life to live.
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On many long journeys have I gone. And waited, too, for others to return from journeys of their own. Some return; some are broken; some come back so different only their names remain.

YODA, Dark Rendezvous
c
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Re: Class of 2011
#7: September 20, 2015, 07:45:43 AM
He's been gone since 18 October, 2011.  Same soulmate, lesser job.  I think they bought a condo together but I don't really know.  Rumour has it he's blaming his job for his unhappiness now but, whatever.

It still hurts for my d.  She gets that he's not the same person but still expects him to love her & I don't think he does [I do not share that opinion with her].

I googled myself last night [just checking what's out there ;) ] & I came across his linkedin page.  He now has more degrees than I do :o :o .  I bet his driver's licence is framed & hung on his office wall.  He claims an 'associates' degree for the less than 2 years he spent at university i.e. flunked out of sciences, his trades certificate has become a bachelor's degree, his European technical school is now a university...Does he really think any employer who required a degree wouldn't verify it?

He forgot to mention that he has been fired from all his jobs in the past 7 years & omitted his membership in the cheaters & liars club. 

It shocked me a bit to see his name [& photo] come up.  It shocked me a lot when I came across her name with his last name--I think it was a mistake but they might be married.  It only took me a half an hour to get over it & I slept just fine.  Progress?





 
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Re: Class of 2011
#8: September 20, 2015, 08:55:43 PM
Okay where is everybody?  All reconciled with your spouses?  Or way, way too busy living wonderful lives.   :)

thk?  Jagger?  JAG?
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« Last Edit: September 20, 2015, 08:58:17 PM by calamity »
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Re: Class of 2011
#9: September 21, 2015, 09:12:41 AM
Hi I would like to hear how the Class of 2011 are doing....if your BD was in 2011 where is your MLCer right now? High energy replay? Vanisher? Reconnecting? Still with the original OW? Does your MLCer have a job? Has he moved away? Do you still have contact with him?

Class of 2011 here too.   ;D

BD January 2011
Low Energy MLCer
D was May 2013
I stayed in the house until D was final, he's still in the house.
No ow
Still have contact with him.  Reconnecting?  Who the heck knows.   ::)
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."
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