[xyzcf]

Plan on doing something to celebrate you on your anniversary..I've had two now away from him..I was totally spoiled on ALL occasions so being totally spoiled is NOT a good thing. Always yellow roses, sometimes sent to my work when I was working, very expensive dinners out, beautiful loving cards (all of which I kept), the best chocolate available....very, very spoiled.

[Dontgiveup]

I remember last Valentine's Day very well.  My wife was not feeling well and had not been sleeping well.......both of which (coincidentally) are symptoms of stress and depression......hmmmm.....

[In this for ME]

WOW roses? Chocolates??
Not a chance for any of that with me..not even a crummy card most times.

I think one time a years ago he wrote me a letter and it was very heartfelt and sweet. I would be happier with that than anything else he could buy.

For my birthday one year my best friend ( female) sent me a beautiful flower bouqet for my birthday hoping to make him feel bad. She would be outraged every year that he would do nothing for me on occassions like that.

[Ibelieve]

Shoot, I was so good to my H last year. I let him off the hook... I told him Valentines weekend was all about him for once. It's usually all about me.  I told him he can work on his guy stuff all weekend in the garage. He was so happy. We ended up cleaning the garage for two days. But too his credit, he did make me a steak dinner after. It was a great weekend even though we worked really hard.  Not that it got me anywhere this year.  I'm just sad today.

[xyzcf]

I wish we all lived on the same island together where we'd do away with anything that was painful and never have to be alone or lonely because there would always be someone to chat with, go for a walk, have a glass of wine, play some cards, sing some songs with..it would be our own Utopia and we could celebrate stuff like watching flowers bloom or dogs chasing frisbees or children getting dressed up to play..it would be so wonderful we'd never want to leave to go back to our spouses...

[Ibelieve]

Thanks for the visual xyzcf. That sounds wonderful right now. Can you imagine all of us on an island telling our stories.
"Me too, me too, yeah, me too, I know mine too," would be heard allot. As if we were all married to the same spouse.

I know, then they can be on another Island on the other side of the world with the OP... All you would hear there would be arguing.
hahaaaa.. I feel so much better now

[In this for ME]

Boy an  island sounds pretty good right now!

It's about 2 degrees here and the wind is blowing.

 The girls went to a play with ExMIL and I'm watching Pride and Predjuice for about the 100th time in these 8 months.

I've tried to look at the holidays this way:
This is the way it has to be for THIS year.
Who knows whats going to happen next year.

But whatever that is having lived through this nightmare so far and still be upright and not resigned to spending the rest of my life in bed under the covers. I am happy.

I understand the not knowing is the hard part. Try not to be sad. I know it is hard.

[Rebel Yell]

My dilemma is a little different. Talked to W today and we are supposed to find something for us to do tomorrow (Sunday)
for Valentines Day.
She said, "you don't have something planned for us?" as if I would have assumed that she would want to do something.
I never was much of a leader in my family, I let her plan everything. She knows that those days are gone. I've planned things
for our anniversary, birthdays, Christmas......
I think I'm lost, my sitch just doesn't seem to be like most on here. I did explain that it's tough for me to ask her
to do stuff for fear that she would feel like it's pressure from me and I don't want her to feel that.
Again, W seems to respond positively to any kind of nice things I do.
I could be wrong but I think she may be seeing the new me, not that guy that was just plodding through his life.
Also when we kiss and it's more than a peck on the lips, she will get very emotional. I thought it was guilt,
but now I think she's afraid.

[Shantilly Lace]

Blue, each is the same and different.
H kisses me and recently it changed from hard pecks to softer lips (not yesterday I upset him)
he does things for me all the time. 

And yet he is not here.  He goesto ow at least 2 a week.  becasue I upset him yesterday my bet is he will spend a fewmore days there this week, to "show me" who is boss.

Pft.

don't worry whether it's MLC or not you are welcome to stand foryour marriage here.

It could also be like my H was at the beginning, still very much here BIG touch and goes.  So don't be surprised if she withsraws.

[Rebel Yell]

I think we have already gone through a lot of withdrawing. I don't know where we are and I try now to dwell on it.
It boils down to her needing to love herself.