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Author Topic: Interacting with Your MLCer Valentines Day

R
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Interacting with Your MLCer Re: Valentines Day
#10: January 22, 2011, 12:14:44 PM
I'm thinking get a card and a small gift as an emergency. Remember that as far as I know there is no OM, she contacts me daily and her complaint was that I wasn't there for her. She did buy me some things for Christmas this year and that hasn't happened in the two previous years.  I want to show consistency some how. The pressure is that too much can be read into Valentines day, whether to get anything or not. I think this way I'm able to mirror. The card will have to not be very romantic and the gift will have to be something like chocolate that won't go to waste. She seems to be going through the depression stage for the last several months. I see her trying out new personalities right now.
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HE>i
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Re: Valentines Day
#11: January 22, 2011, 12:17:21 PM
I always used to bake a heart shaped cake..trust me, I celebrated every occasion even groundhog day.

So if anyone wants a piece of a heart shaped cake...perhaps this year it will be a tear shaped cake..let me know..I might even spring for some ice cream (???? Ready????).

I had though to compile some thoughts on love to send him but probably a very bad idea.

I am going to send him a birthday card in April but I agree, last year was a different story but this year with getting a separation it would be foolish for me to presume......
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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

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Re: Valentines Day
#12: January 22, 2011, 12:18:00 PM
Rebel..you just do what your heart tells you to do..just don't let her break your heart.
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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html
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Re: Valentines Day
#13: January 22, 2011, 12:22:51 PM
Ready,
Go ahead and send the flowers but without a signatory- hmmmm. I got a humongous flower arrangement from a parent of one of students and when H saw it he asked who it was from.  I could tell that it piqued his curiosity. Or we could all send you a single rose with a card "For the most patient guy we know."

Or buy a box of really good chocolate and enjoy it for yourself.

Or a card.
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Re: Valentines Day
#14: January 22, 2011, 01:13:57 PM
Ready,
I'm still chuckling at your post.

Brilliant!

L
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Re: Valentines Day
#15: January 22, 2011, 01:38:45 PM
Quote from: forthetrees on January 22, 2011, 12:22:51 PM
Or buy a box of really good chocolate and enjoy it for yourself.

This is the BEST idea.
Do something for you and don't worry about the MLC'er!
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t
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Re: Valentines Day
#16: January 22, 2011, 01:42:49 PM
Rebel, the key to whatever you decide or not decide to do is definitely to try not to have any expectations at all. 
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R
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Re: Valentines Day
#17: January 22, 2011, 01:52:02 PM
Oh, I won't. I'll just mirror by being prepared.
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Re: Valentines Day
#18: January 22, 2011, 06:11:20 PM
Hi, RY.  This will be my second Valentine's Day without H. I sent him a nice "friendly" Valentine's Day card last year. He was so into his MLC he didn't even acknowledge it.  I have sent him cards, notes, etc. throughout the year for most occasions and he never really acknowledged them.  Once in a while he would surprise me by sending a text and thanked me.  He would say something about it was "kind" of me or "sweet".  I sent him a Christmas card and ordered him some fruit.  He sent me a text telling me thanks but he also stated that my "kindness amazed him".  I replied that I was a little confused as to why he was "amazed" at my kindness so he proceeds to compare me to my friends (some in particular who works with him).....as to the fact that they treat him "hateful".........and he tells me my kindness and their treatment towards him is so different.  I took it that he still blames me in some ways because of how he is treated by these people in particular.......because they are MY friends.  I've debated as to what I should do or if I should do anything for Valentine's Day.  In my heart I want to send him a card just to show him that I still care and that I'm still here for him but I'm beginning to think that perhaps giving him some of his own medicine (mirror) and do nothing.  Maybe this will make him start thinking that he has lost me for sure.  The contact between us has been off and on..........I've gotten stronger in the fact that I'm able to stop myself from contacting him.  He will end up contacting me and I will respond.  He normally stops the contact by not answering my last text.........I'm learning to be the last one to reply.  I can't say that it is working but I've got nothing but time.  My H (ex) and I are divorced (3 months) but I still hold onto the hope and faith that he will want to return. 

Stay strong.
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R
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Re: Valentines Day
#19: January 22, 2011, 06:25:45 PM
LMM, it's just a piece of paper.
How many people do you know that got divorced and then re married. It happens all the time.
We all don't know what we had until it's gone.
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