Author Topic: My Story standing on my own two feet  (Read 16997 times)

Offline Thunder

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My Story Re: standing on my own two feet
« Reply #100 on: April 26, 2016, 04:57:32 AM »
How's your daughter doing, BI?
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline blackiceTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: standing on my own two feet
« Reply #101 on: April 26, 2016, 05:53:35 AM »
She's ok. She's still a little nauseous but she's off to classes today so she is fine. They gave her two huge bags of saline at the hospital and that helped a lot.

No worries chookie. I dropped any expectations i had a long time ago.
Me 40
H 43
SD 22 D20 S14 S10
bomb drop  october 2013
secret trip with OW June 2014
moved out to live with OW July 2014
left state with ow to go to treatment Nov 2014
Ow gave birth to OC June 2015
h is on probation back here at home
H married ow dec 2015 while still being legally married to me
H returned home 4/17
EA turned PA
still says he loves me but he has to grow as a person

Offline Thunder

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Re: standing on my own two feet
« Reply #102 on: April 26, 2016, 06:03:03 AM »
 ;D
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline Chookie

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Re: standing on my own two feet
« Reply #103 on: May 26, 2016, 12:36:14 AM »
Hey BI, just checking in to see how you're doing. Check on if you get a chance, ok?  :)
BD 29 Nov '13
Left home 8 June '14
Does not live with OW

Offline blackiceTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: standing on my own two feet
« Reply #104 on: June 22, 2016, 01:06:33 AM »
Omg i didnt realize its been so long since i posted.

Quick summary of events i guess is in order:

Got a new job, part time but it pays good. Been on training for it for the last four weeks. Working that and my other part time job. Kids are out of school for the summer so D19 has been helping me watch her brothers. SD21 had her baby. So I have a grandson now.

H went to Cali. Been there for a month. Is now texting me he wants to come home. Of course he's been saying that since three days after he left. Not holding my breath. Though things get worse by the day for him. He is a mess.

Will let you know more when and if anything happens.

For now i am just living my life and getting on my feet. Praying that everything goes how it should.
Me 40
H 43
SD 22 D20 S14 S10
bomb drop  october 2013
secret trip with OW June 2014
moved out to live with OW July 2014
left state with ow to go to treatment Nov 2014
Ow gave birth to OC June 2015
h is on probation back here at home
H married ow dec 2015 while still being legally married to me
H returned home 4/17
EA turned PA
still says he loves me but he has to grow as a person

Offline serenity

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Re: standing on my own two feet
« Reply #105 on: June 22, 2016, 01:21:42 AM »
Good to hear you're doing ok blackice.

X


Offline blackiceTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: standing on my own two feet
« Reply #106 on: June 22, 2016, 01:39:34 AM »
I am. I'm happy and I know I am going to be just fine. That two year mark really is a turning point if you have let go.

That time he was here was a huge reconnection period. Lots of seeds were planted. Even if he did leave again I wasn't bothered and I had faith that things are as they are supposed to be. Just have had a lot of faith in the process and in the creator. H has even said this whole thing was needed in a way for him to realize he was really happy with me and our life together and its been a huge lesson. So lets see. He's texting me right now, telling me he's reversing his transfer tomorrow and coming home. Again, we shall see. I never expect him to follow through because he hasnt yet.
Me 40
H 43
SD 22 D20 S14 S10
bomb drop  october 2013
secret trip with OW June 2014
moved out to live with OW July 2014
left state with ow to go to treatment Nov 2014
Ow gave birth to OC June 2015
h is on probation back here at home
H married ow dec 2015 while still being legally married to me
H returned home 4/17
EA turned PA
still says he loves me but he has to grow as a person

Offline Hmmm

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Re: standing on my own two feet
« Reply #107 on: June 22, 2016, 02:56:22 AM »
Lovely to hear from you BI. Glad you're sorting your finances out and sounding really positive.

Your story illustrates the pull of the OW and the fog so well. He knows he can't stand her but goes back anyway. You have been so calm and mature throughout. The affair has to run its course though. I keep having to remind myself that there's nothing I can do except live the best life I can.

We too have massive reconnections every month when he visits. It's keeping me on the rollercoaster though so I've decided not to be here at his next visit. I'm hoping to detach but with compassion as mine had an awful childhood with death and abuse like yours. Not murder though. I can't imagine how awful that must've been.

Stay strong and have fun with your lovely kids and the new baby :)
Xxx

Offline UKStander

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Re: standing on my own two feet
« Reply #108 on: June 22, 2016, 07:04:58 AM »
Joining, to wish you good luck, BlackIce. There are some fascinating insights into the mind of the mlc-er in your story.

UK
BD June 2011
Affair discovered; three moves out and three attempts at return during 2012, culminating in "I'm not coming back" statement. Then DIY separation agreement - Feb 14 - which I wouldn't sign. He moved in with OW in 10/14 and I heard little more. I instigated D in 2016.  He's still living in rental with OW and her D but the cracks are starting to appear.

Offline Thunder

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Re: standing on my own two feet
« Reply #109 on: June 22, 2016, 07:20:05 AM »
BI,

So good to see you post again.  I was getting worried, but you sound very together, I must just say.   :)

Yep, actions speak louder than words.  Let him figure it out with NO help from you.  You've bailed him out enough.
It's time for him to stand on his own 2 feet. 

Congrats on the new grandson.   ;D ;D

Hugs
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

 

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