[Thunder]

That's wonderful BI.

Nothing better than helping out someone when their down and out.  Bless their heart.

[Chookie]

  xx

[blackice]

Well his transfer was approved so he can leave whenever he wants. She was adamant about him buying his own ticket before but now she's all oh I'll get you one. He told her no. They are constantly talking about divorce and lately he's been talking about how me and him are still married and hes going to buy me a new ring and im his wife blah blah blah. I mean i believe him but there's no way to move forward while he still is clinging to that fantasy out there. Its a slim hope he has but its still there. I dont know. I know that during his time here we got close again so it's going to be hard to see him leave, if he does leave but i know I'll be ok. I just wish none of this was happening.

[Thunder]

Well BI,

This is where the rubber hits the road.

He either will go back to his delusional fantasy or he won't.  His choice.

Just remember words are cheap, actions are what you need to see.
I hope it all works out for you.  You have been through so much.

[Chookie]

Well BI,

This is where the rubber hits the road.

He either will go back to his delusional fantasy or he won't.  His choice.

Just remember words are cheap, actions are what you need to see.
I hope it all works out for you.  You have been through so much.

Totally agree with this. You've been through a hell of a lot, BI.

Take care! 

[blackice]

Is it weird that i feel content. Like i have this strange feeling that everything is going to be ok. I'm happy. Regardless of the struggles i am going through right now I'm content. I feel like i can withstand anything and be fine. I think it really makes people uncomfortable that i am so calm anymore. Its kinda funny.

Oh and ow is still stalking me so i do small things to piss her off for mg own amusement. H has my back on it and has been defending me to her. Which is also hilarious. She tries to call me fat and he tells her have you looked at yourself lately, you have no room to be saying anything about anyone's weight. Honestly I'm thinner than she is now. Karma baby.

[Thunder]

BI,

That's very telling that he is defending you to her.  You have played your cards right and he doesn't see you as the enemy anymore.
Just sit back and let her hang herself.   

[blackice]

Which is exactly what im doing. I remember telling her at the beginning i didnt have to do a thing cause she will ruin everything all on her own.

H has been reading things on support groups for people involved with narcissists and sociopaths. I did not show him this but my truth bombs lwd him there. His eyes are opening more than i thought.

[blackice]

Full moon right.

I left my phone home, while i was gone he went through my phone. He found a giant truth bomb and it sent him off. He went through my email, my tumblr, my instagram, all my messages and my facebook. In my facebook he saw a post ibmade in a closed group of friends that i had written two days ago about ow stalking me and having no safe spaces because of it and how she uses what she finds to abuse him with and how im stressed about money and everything im going through. Two male friends, gay at that, came and talked me down and listened to me and i guess h didn't like that. I said well i cant talk to you about it. I had to let it out somewhere. He threw a fit. Truth hurts doesn't it. He later said reading that made him realize he caused me a lot of pain. That i should be able to talk to him about that and not anyone else. I mean we had it out. He tried to monster at me and i stood my ground.

Its been exhausting with him lately. Hes been fighting the sadness. I told him he had to face it and stop running. He is actually listening to me. Hes also realizing ow is a narcissist. Its a process. Hes supposed to leave mid may but who knows. I see him cycling through stages. Hes changed so much and its amazing but he still needs to cut that cord of the emotional abusive relationship hes been in. At least hes been reading on it and helping himself. Hes defending me a lot and im not the enemy anymore at all.

Wherever this goes and whatever happens is up to the creator. Ive let go and have no control and i don't worry about it. I love him. Hes my husband. He knows this. Its all on him.

[blackice]

Oh and he finally told ow their marriage isnt legal and its void cause we never divorced. He said you guys took advantage nof my messed up mental state and convinced me that my marriage wasnt real when it is. Commonlaw is legal in Oklahoma and since they recognize it as a legal marriage ita a legal marriage in every state and just because you guys have no respect for my cultural traditions, because we were married according to our ways, that doesnt mean it wasnt real. So he told her their marriage was void. She refuses to listen. Its a mess but im the only legal wife. If he files for an annulment from her she will have to get a paternity test to even file for child support. Karma.