[Thunder]

That's depressing to hear, isn't it mb?

The reality is its very possible she wont come back, that's why we have to change things up and live our lives.

Hope can still remain in your heart, though.  MLCer's do sometimes turn back to home.  There just are no guarantees.
I pray your situation is one of the success stories.  You just never know.

[mountainbiker2]

Ya for sure, I'm hoping since my W is boomerang type and is staying closer, hasn't even moved any of her stuff and isn't really living in her own place (just staying at a "friends" and considers herself homeless at the moment), that there is a better chance as she isn't completely convinced of her decisions it seems. I guess i will see in the next few months though, seems to be in limbo now but I know somethings got to happen at some point.

There was the comment that wives tend to take the scorched earth route, I feel mine hasn't been quite that way, seems actually more in line with a lot of the MLC Male stories, and I still feel I get more frequent contact than most but not quite clinging boomerang, at least not yet. I have a feeling it could go that way though, I guess it all depends on what OM situation is, which I'm sure I will find out at some point somehow.

[Thunder]

Well good, it does sound like it could go either way.

Just patience and low expectations are in order for you now.   

[jjal]

I hold out hope for mine too. However, she moved almost all of her stuff out at the 5 month mark. We are just passing the 6 month mark, and while I have hope, I have no expectations.

I've been NC for close to 2 weeks now, but expect the D email any minute now. 

[Thundarr]

Hi MB,

Class of 2011 here and my XW has wavered between Boomerang and Clinging Boomerang, but so far no remorse for the events surrounding BD or the divorce along with no return talks.  What I HAVE noticed is that she has been much more appreciative of me and seems to be trying on her mom/ wife identity for longer stretches at a time with the biggest step being going on a vacation with the kids and I over New Years and actually spending the night under the same roof as me for the first time since 2011.  It seems she's trying to integrate "us" into her life but very, very slowly.  Not sure what the future holds as this may have just been the last hurrah.....or it could be something much greater.  Time will tell.  Incidentally, I'm one of the LifeTwo brothers that BH mentioned and can recall a couple from that site whose W's returned (even though one may have not been all the way through the tunnel).  We also had a long-time poster here, Rebel Yell, who seemed to be moving toward an R but I haven't heard from him in quite some time.  As someone said, it may well be that people just want to put this period in their lives behind them and focus on the present and future after R rather than sticking around and being reminded of what it was like by reading through the threads.  I know it would be tempting to completely close the book on this chapter of my life if XW and I ever R.  Not saying I will, but still......

[mountainbiker2]

I hold out hope for mine too. However, she moved almost all of her stuff out at the 5 month mark. We are just passing the 6 month mark, and while I have hope, I have no expectations.

I've been NC for close to 2 weeks now, but expect the D email any minute now.

Ya my wife already had the seriously want a divorce discussion with me a couple weeks ago, but she started crying profusely half way through and I assumed she wasn't serious so I left.

I assume the same thing, that she will move her stuff out before actually filing for divorce.

[jjal]

Mine has been one cool customer. Cold and calculating. She hasn't cried a tear that I've seen since the day after BD when she claimed to still love me.

She has 2 closets of non-essential stuff still left in the house, and some shared property which I assume we'll split up.

I honestly think if she did not have her EA whispering in her ear, along with a divorced woman she works with, I might have had a shot. But, I didn't try to get in the way of her EA. I suspected it in the last 2-3 weeks before BD, but didn't actively investigate it. Once she left, I discovered who it was by cell logs, and by then she had already moved out. Not sure it would have done me any good to let her know I knew, so I let her go. I'm on my path, she is on her path. My path is the high road.

[mountainbiker2]

Funny, that is one thing I have seen is a wide range of emotions, almost to the point where I question if it is MLC (until I remember that she was acting exactly like an MLCer a while before and after BDs).

I have seen lots of crying, guilt (after things were found out mostly), indecision, happiness and complete indifference, and even a bit of remorse I think at one point. We've even done a couple dinners, a hike, and one counseling session, all which didn't go that great.

Since i have detached, it seems to be more indifference and sometimes cordial/almost even caring, and she mentioned the other day something about being depressed, but then she disappears again.

[jjal]

I believe my wife has cycled between a lot of those feelings. The guilt is there for sure, and maybe a hint of remorse, but only when describing her "ache". The indifference kills me though. It makes me feel like she is trivializing 20 years of marriage.

She was very caring leading up to moving all of her furniture out into storage Thanksgiving weekend. Then it all turned indifferent. I've not been able to pin any of it down, it's just all so odd. Too many contradictions in all of this.

[Watcher]

My BD was only 7 months ago, July 2015, so I am still new to this. She did move out for 1 month after BD and we lived together for a month before I moved out due to Monster antics upon her return. In the ensuing months we have been in contact 15 times when she reached out to me. She has an alienator but nothing physical that I know of. She has been very clear on those visits with me. She cannot forgive herself. She is angry this has happened to her, angry at God and the world. She describes her alienator as a magnet. She thinks of him all day and has no control over her thoughts. She is obssessed with him, phone calls, internet, fantasies, etc. Thankfully he has no interest in her and filed a complaint against her at work. I have already forgiven her, Ive seen the pain that she is in. Until she gets out of her own way I dont believe she will be ready to return. I have also been told by many Dr, that this dopamine addiction that she has is very difficult to overcome. I do believe it gets better. 3 contact days from August thru November. We had 12 days contact in December before going back into the fog. Keeping my expectations low until she can find it in her heart to forgive herself.