[Any midlife crisis victims who can share their experiences during their transition]

Any midlife crisis victims who can share their experiences during their transition

What went through your mind

2 (66.7%)

Did you really stop loving your spouse

1 (33.3%)

Total Members Voted: 3

[hawk]

This may be a dumb question , especially from me as l've now been at it awhile and l went through my own crap too.

But is there a way we can tell yes or no for sure , they are or aren't mlc  ?
It was the first thing l suggested to my w , especially as she'd gone into very early menopause to boot. But she said l knew that's the first thing you'd jump to but no , it isn't mlc and she's been a nurse 22yrs so l guess maybe she'd recognize her own mlc, you would think anyway .

[Samurai]

I think one can never look at him/herself in an objective way.

In sewing22's story, I noticed how she mentioned that the post MLC herself was a facade, a made-up one that she had to destroy and get her true personality. That's how she sees it now. I think that her previous persona was just as true THEN as the one is now. The previous one didn't fit her life anymore and had to be destroyed and a new one had to be built.

So I think people in MLC can't tell that they are in MLC at the replay phase. They see their choices as valid choices that they made because that was the right choice. As they progress, they will see that it wasn't, causing guilt, etc.

A few years ago we talked about affairs with my wife. We were 100% sure that if anything remotely similar comes up, we won't be like those cheating bastards, we will try to fix the problems. We are not like those people, we are honest and we respect each other. Yes, we were like that, she was like that. She couldn't imagine to be a person she is now.

[OldPilot]

But is there a way we can tell yes or no for sure , they are or aren't mlc  ?
It was the first thing l suggested to my w , especially as she'd gone into very early menopause to boot. But she said l knew that's the first thing you'd jump to but no , it isn't mlc and she's been a nurse 22yrs so l guess maybe she'd recognize her own mlc, you would think anyway .

I will only say DENIAL.

Why do you think she would admit that their is something wrong with herself?
Do you admit that their is something wrong with yourself?

[Roma]

This is just an awesome post! Thanks so much for sharing everyone! I'm reading right along. This topic continues to fascinate me because honestly, I never knew much about it before and I'm learning so much!

[hawk]

Hmm , good point op.

Yep l don't think they do come to think of it ether Samurai . The other day she told me to just chill out which coming form her was a bloody joke as even D reckons she's wound up like a spring 90% of the time but , she doesn't seem to even know it.

Sadly , we use to talk like that too and l even use to make jokes from a line in this song, " if you leave me can l come too "
One day she made a joke, ok , l'm leaving , l said ok lets pack , who's car we takin   

Maybe l jinxed us .

[Beacon]

I don't know if this is an appropriate place for this link but I found it to be very helpful and still reread it when in doubt. It is mostly for LBS but I think it could easily go both ways.

http://ecmaterials.s3.amazonaws.com/HusbandWarned-WifeMidlifeCrisis.pdf

[Bailmor]

Beacon, WOW!  that is one great article!  I think that should be in another place as well, but I am not sure where.  Reading that made things so simplistic and straightforward.  Thanks for posting this and I hope it helps other husbands going through this MLC process.

[Beacon]

Larry Bilotta certainly has some good insights on the topic. I'm glad it was helpful, it certainly explains a lot and gives some straight forward advice.

[Samurai]

Larry Bilotta certainly has some good insights on the topic...

Do you know if the MLC product he is selling is any good?

[Beacon]

I personally have not bought them as I have found a lot of the material such as what I posted online. I suppose the individual counseling calls may be productive however I am not sure if it's worth the money or if going to your own IC is a better option.