[Thunder]

My hearts breaks for that baby, RCR.

[Rollercoasterider]

Update
The CPS caseworker called today and said we can get her tomorrow. Then she called right back--feeling a bit embarassed  and said she talked to the hospital and she has been in a chamber and must be out of it for 48 hours before she can be released and so we cannot get her until Saturday. The caseworker said she's wary of telling us any day since it keeps changing--for me that is just expected, so no problem. Saturday is actually the best for us because Chuck will get three days off and then he has his regular two days off, so 5 days in a row and because my mom and Sissie's Godmother are both available to come watch our three here at our house while Chuck and I travel to pick up the baby.

My Dad
My stepmother said he is hanging in. But I know that it will be most likely that I will now be talking to her and not him--or she will answer whne I call and she will be the one to call me rather than him. The norm is that she doesn't ever seem to answer there phone unless he's not around--it's always been that way--and so I can go months without talking to her.
I think I will call her now after this post to upate her and find out how my Dad is doing today--I call late because the entire household sleeps late and stays up late, so no early or even late morning calls.

[Anjae]

It is good to know the hospital is looking after the baby. Better to have her remain in hospital until she is fully ready for you to pick her up. She is most likely going through withdrawal. Never a nice thing to go through, let alone for a 9 days old.

Can you go see your dad? Or is that something that, for some reason, you not wish to do? Does he live very far away from you?

Your stepmother is mostly likely having to adjust to deal with things she never did before. Calling and updating her is a good idea. Hope your dad is doing as best as possible.

[Rollercoasterider]

My Dad doesn't live near me--same state though. It's about a 5 hour drive and we went in March knowing it was our goodbye visit.

The baby is in wothdrawals--or has been. She had to be on morphine and then had to wothdraw from that--I think that is what the caseworker said two days ago. Poor dear, it's been a rough start so far.
We also would be very unlikely to be able to go see my Dad now with a baby that is more fragile than most. I asked my stepmom and she said she and my Dad decided long ago there would be no funeral.  I wish someone had told me sooner than yesterday. There will be a family get together at some point in the future to scatter his ashes is what she told me. That will be at her convenience--as it should be. But I am sad as my cousin said he would most definitely come to a service and I was excited to be able to see him if I could make it--which was the plan before the new baby, but as foster parents Chuck and I knew already that this might happen and we would not be able to go were there going to be a service.

[Anjae]

What you wrote the casework said makes sense. If a baby is born addicted there are a couple of ways of dealing with the issue. One is to not give any drugs to the baby and see if the baby's body is able to be drug free by itself . The other (or if the baby's body is not capable in a short time) is to give the baby drugs (the drugs, or combination of drugs, depends on what substance, or substances, the mother was addict to) in a decreasing way.

Both methods have withdrawal. But it may be less severe (I'm guessing here, I do not know for sure), if the baby is given some drugs in a decreasing way. Despite is all, she is a lucky baby. Some babies need six months on drugs. She is also lucky because she has you and your family.

I'm sorry you were only told yesterday that there will be no funeral for your dad. Maybe you will be able to attend the family get together.

[Trustandlove]

I'm also sorry there will be no funeral; I've always felt they were important.  I do hope you find a way to replace that for yourself -- that may not be the right phrase, I do hope you know what I mean. 

I am keeping the baby in my prayers. 

[serenity]

Sorry to hear there will be no funeral BUT maybe you can make scattering the ashes the important day?

I didn't go to my MIL funeral but scattered her ashes and with my own mum the funeral was out of my hands so I've now arranged a day where I'm burying my mum and dads ashes together in a beautiful place and I'm going to make that a very special day.

X

[Rollercoasterider]

Baby Update
Nothing really new...so far still on for picking her up tomorrow. But the caseworker did tell me that there is an Aunt and Uncle who will take the baby if the Dad is the current boyfriend; she fully ewxpects they will pass the background check.
The means the likelhood is this baby will only be a foster she soubaby and we will not get to keep her. The you never knows don't help because they don't prepare for what is more probable--of course that could fall through, but at this time it is not expected to fall through. So if the father is the past boyfriend, she will go to him as soon as the results are in and if it is the current boyfriend, they will start the background check and homestudy process for the aunt and uncle once the results are in and she will stay with us until they are cleared.

The caseworker said it should take ~3 weeks for DNA results, so should be with us for at least that long.

I'm going to tell this to Chuck when he gets home from work. He is unlikely to take it well--he tends to lean toward denial in wanting more hope and has flat out told me he doesn't give credibility to even what the caseworkers say regarding family that might qualify to take a baby. This makes it more difficult for me and I really need to accept the probability of it. This does not affect my ability to attach and feel like a Mamma at all and sure, it hurts when a baby goes, but while she is here we will be her parents.

[Rollercoasterider]

Being Fast
Got baby today--gone 12 hours while Grandmas watched our three at home.
Baby is doing very well.

My Dad died today at 4:20 pm. My stepmom called me at around 8:15 or 8:30 just after we got home. I'm okay, but she's in shock about it. I knew it was going to be today. Sometimes you just know and somehow I did. He is no longer in pain and so I'm doing okay, but as you know it will hit me.

Wearing baby in wrap now and she's finally asleep. Need to get some rest myself now. I may not be around to post much for the next few days, but will check in as I usually do.

[xyzcf]

Sorry RCR for your loss