Author Topic: My Story Reconnecting Hey, are you making it out on a limb  (Read 14823 times)

Offline Elegance

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My Story Reconnecting Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #50 on: June 07, 2016, 05:53:25 AM »
Same here Beacon. My h stays up all night it seems then turns around, up before the sun and goes to work his 9 -5 and a bunch of other things. Maybe sleep for an hour at night? It's how he met the MOW online. her being the wh0r^ she is posting half naked pix on instagram or wherever.  Sleepless nights basically. It's something about the dark they don't like I read. I agree, they can't possibly do this forever, and it really takes a toll on them and it's beginning to show on my h.

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #51 on: June 07, 2016, 08:32:36 AM »
Ironically, I was the one after ABD that couldn't sleep and was out walking with my dog from 22:00 until after midnight 3, 4, 5 times a week.....

I just couldn't get my brain to stop replaying ABD over and over and over and over, ad nauseum.... Even when I did sleep, it invaded my dreams...

MLCW? Don't know how well she slept because she would disappear upstairs in the house formerly known as home and I wouldn't see her until the following morning, if then...
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline BeaconTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #52 on: June 07, 2016, 04:09:59 PM »
Oh Ursa I didn't sleep well post BD either. I mean I went a few months of not sleeping great but mostly from all the confusion and emotions. I now two years later sleep great yet my W two years later DOES NOT. I don't know maybe huge bags under your eyes are back in style  ;D

I see the guilt eat away at her and it's actually quite painful but I now look at it from a distance and just turn away because I know there isn't anything I can do about it. I am doing fairly well recently, My W sent a text about our shared phone bill and I replied back very short and direct. This has pissed her off because now that she is back from her trip she is going to try to be friendly with me and I am NOT having it so now she realizes she isn't getting what she wants. So this is a good step for me. Took my rings off last week and have really started to detach from her. Maybe one day I'll see my pre MLCW again but for now, I don't like this person.

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #53 on: June 08, 2016, 02:34:32 AM »
Oh Ursa I didn't sleep well post BD either. I mean I went a few months of not sleeping great but mostly from all the confusion and emotions. I now two years later sleep great yet my W two years later DOES NOT. I don't know maybe huge bags under your eyes are back in style  ;D

That is something that I can't see but that is mostly due to makeup.... MLCW was always a great fan of face paint and that hasn't changed... Anything to keep hiding behind a mask...  :-\

I see the guilt eat away at her and it's actually quite painful but I now look at it from a distance and just turn away because I know there isn't anything I can do about it. I am doing fairly well recently, My W sent a text about our shared phone bill and I replied back very short and direct. This has pissed her off because now that she is back from her trip she is going to try to be friendly with me and I am NOT having it so now she realizes she isn't getting what she wants. So this is a good step for me. Took my rings off last week and have really started to detach from her.

Similar things... Answer the question asked and JUST the question that is asked... MLCW on the other hand, answers everything BUT the question that is asked... Goes (what the Germans say) around the back with the elbow in order to scratch the ear.... the direct approach DOES seem to annoy them to no end though...

Maybe one day I'll see my pre MLCW again but for now, I don't like this person.

This is something that I have said to various people many times as well... and, to date, only the LBS's have had a CLUE what I was talking about...  I still love the woman I married, the woman that I had 2 kids with... the Body Snatcher that is running around inside the meat puppet that looks like that person? I don't like them one bit.... I had a friend ask me last night on the phone (got a rather shaky phone call as her H is heading off into the tunnel now and is a vanisher) and she asked if I could still look at MLCW.... I had to say that looking at her physical form never was a problem  ;) but that the physical and the emotional/mental person are inextricably intertwined so, at the moment, I find it more difficult than I used to... That and the fact that I keep having images flashing in my head of the possible OP situation...  :P
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline BeaconTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #54 on: June 08, 2016, 07:53:45 AM »
That and the fact that I keep having images flashing in my head of the possible OP situation...  :P

That is what bothers me too, and I realize after all this time I shouldn't focus on the OM but sometimes I just get imagery of them together in my head and it pisses me off. I mean she has had 3 OM so it's not like she left me for Mr. Perfect and it really shouldn't bother me because I know exactly what she is doing but every once in awhile when I have a bad day I let it cross my mind.

The good thing is there are far more better days now then bad days. So it does get better.  :D

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #55 on: June 08, 2016, 08:05:57 AM »
That and the fact that I keep having images flashing in my head of the possible OP situation...  :P

That is what bothers me too, and I realize after all this time I shouldn't focus on the OM but sometimes I just get imagery of them together in my head and it pisses me off. I mean she has had 3 OM so it's not like she left me for Mr. Perfect and it really shouldn't bother me because I know exactly what she is doing but every once in awhile when I have a bad day I let it cross my mind.

The good thing is there are far more better days now then bad days. So it does get better.  :D

Yes, that is true.... And there are certain triggers for me... The rushing off to go to parties (that she NEVER went to when we were together....) and so on. IC asked me Monday if the trip this weekend is to see someone and I had to say I have no idea but the official reason was to go to her sister's and BIL's combined Birthday party... It is, ironically, the same weekend as my birthday which she apparently does NOT want to be around for  ;)  :P
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline BeaconTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #56 on: June 09, 2016, 03:14:47 PM »
I know I know stop focusing on the OM, but I had to go on FB because my W is helping with finding homes for our new puppies. Well I see that she has posted about how happy she is with "her baby" and all these other ridiculous posts. I can't help but to think is she really happy. I mean I know this is her 3rd OM and they had sex on the second time they met and she basically buys him everything and pays her way to his heart or other parts. The relationship is one of deceit and has never really been made public. I can see looking from the outside it's not a normal/healthy relationship and I know he has issues with being possessive and stuff but it just rattles my mind that she can't see this. I know it's MLC and they don't think clearly but wow. I have detached and I go out to lunch with my friends and have a good time living my life without her but sometimes things like this pop up and I wonder wow I can't wait until she can look back on this.

I guess I am just venting and I don't follow her posts for this reason but I had to go on there to post the puppies and saw that crap and I wont lie it made me mad.

Offline BeaconTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #57 on: June 13, 2016, 07:23:09 AM »
Well yesterday was a difficult day, my W and I lost a couple goods friends in the Orlando shooting. After a bout of NC by me we ended up talking all day. We got together last night with a few of our friends in town and remembered our lost ones. It turned out to be a good night and we had a lot of good discussions in regards to her behavior of the past couple of years. She opened up about her relationship with her mother and how she never felt wanted/loved and how because of that she has sabotaged our relationship. I found what she said to be very sincere and she said that she wants to wait. I asked her what she wanted to wait for and she said "for you to truly forgive me for what I've done". I have no expectations at this point but I do think she is seeing things more clearly. The fact that she is able to identify how her relationship with her mother is affecting her at this point in her life in important. I hope that she continues this path of self discovery and healing.

Offline Jaybeecee

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #58 on: June 13, 2016, 07:26:21 AM »
So sorry for your loss but sounds like positive steps for you and W.  Hoping that things continue in a positive direction for you.
Me 43
H 42
OW 10/16/15
BD 01/16 ILYBINILWY
S 13, S 11
Divorce final 8/24/16
xH marries OW 10/14/16

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #59 on: June 13, 2016, 08:59:44 AM »
Beacon,

For all the talk about how major life impacting events are an MLC trigger, I wonder if those class of events can also trigger the end of an MLC?

Whatever it is, I grieve with you for your lost ones and rejoice that you are seeing some movement towards one another ...

UM
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

 

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