Oh Ursa I didn't sleep well post BD either. I mean I went a few months of not sleeping great but mostly from all the confusion and emotions. I now two years later sleep great yet my W two years later DOES NOT. I don't know maybe huge bags under your eyes are back in style 
That is something that I can't see but that is mostly due to makeup.... MLCW was always a great fan of face paint and that hasn't changed... Anything to keep hiding behind a mask...

I see the guilt eat away at her and it's actually quite painful but I now look at it from a distance and just turn away because I know there isn't anything I can do about it. I am doing fairly well recently, My W sent a text about our shared phone bill and I replied back very short and direct. This has pissed her off because now that she is back from her trip she is going to try to be friendly with me and I am NOT having it so now she realizes she isn't getting what she wants. So this is a good step for me. Took my rings off last week and have really started to detach from her.
Similar things... Answer the question asked and JUST the question that is asked... MLCW on the other hand, answers everything BUT the question that is asked... Goes (what the Germans say) around the back with the elbow in order to scratch the ear.... the direct approach DOES seem to annoy them to no end though...
Maybe one day I'll see my pre MLCW again but for now, I don't like this person.
This is something that I have said to various people many times as well... and, to date, only the LBS's have had a CLUE what I was talking about... I still love the woman I married, the woman that I had 2 kids with... the Body Snatcher that is running around inside the meat puppet that looks like that person? I don't like them one bit.... I had a friend ask me last night on the phone (got a rather shaky phone call as her H is heading off into the tunnel now and is a vanisher) and she asked if I could still look at MLCW.... I had to say that looking at her physical form never was a problem

but that the physical and the emotional/mental person are inextricably intertwined so, at the moment, I find it more difficult than I used to... That and the fact that I keep having images flashing in my head of the possible OP situation...

Me - 57, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 13, D - 10
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019
Survival Instructions for NewbiesSite Map A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A
REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.
