Author Topic: My Story Reconnecting Hey, are you making it out on a limb  (Read 14770 times)

Offline BeaconTopic starterTopic starter

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My Story Reconnecting Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #70 on: September 09, 2016, 10:28:13 AM »
Hi elegance, long time no "see".

I suppose you are correct, in placing a boundary like that. I guess I just don't see my W and I as being in a relationship. I guess I could just tell her while she is with OM I can't be friends with her. I would still like to keep a line of communication open with her I just don't want her asking me to go out and her say all these things about us and how we are meant to be then the next day she is hanging out with him. This certainly iseems tricky for me although I know it shouldn't be. I just feel like since she left we have never really discussed why she left, what went wrong, what we are currently doing. I feel like I need to voice my opinion about the fact she left and made these choices therefore she doesn't get to back and forth.

Offline BeaconTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #71 on: October 07, 2016, 08:02:24 AM »
Nothing new to share other then this quote I found that I really enjoyed.



Hope everyone has a wonderful day.

Offline confused2016

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #72 on: October 07, 2016, 09:00:26 AM »
Hi Beacon!  Newbie here -- love the quote you posted.  So true!!
MLC:  45    ME:  42
D: 13
Married 17 years in October
________
BD 8/9/2016
Moved Out End 8/27/2016

Offline BeaconTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #73 on: October 20, 2016, 07:32:24 AM »
Just popping in for a update. My W has been coming around more, we have reached a point where we get together once a week. We do a lot of talking, mostly catching up and all the light, fluffy stuff. I can't be sure if she is coming out of the tunnel yet but the ridiculous Replay behavior has certainly come to an end. She is starting to rebuild and budget her bank account, becoming more responsible with her health and going to the doctors. I do know that OM is still in the picture however I believe she is trying to get rid of that. When we go out he is constantly blowing up her phone wondering where she is and she gets frustrated. I just let that all go because that is her problem to fix not mine.

I imagine it wont be easy to get rid of a OM you have been with for a year. Nov 1 marks one year since she has moved out and we are 2.5 years since BD. I have done really well not getting excited and having expectations through the touch and goes. I just continue on my path and let her work through the mess in her head. She now brings up pleasant memories from our past such as last night she brought up our first "date" and how the anniversary of that is this week. So maybe the fog is clearing slightly.

Ok I guess I have just rambled on but just journaling a bit.

Hope everyone has a great day.

Offline Elegance

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #74 on: October 20, 2016, 08:44:20 AM »
Hey Beacon,

Great news! oh how nice it must be. So glad to hear it. :D
You are about a year before me...so I guess I have one year more to deal with all this madness.

Enjoy your day.

Offline BeaconTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #75 on: October 20, 2016, 08:49:00 AM »
Thank you Elegance, I am certainly not getting my hopes up too high and I am still continuing to do things for me and allow that space needed for her. I do see a lot of positives in her words/actions so that is helpful but time will tell. I refuse to allow her to come back until she is fully cooked.

I do have hope for MLCr's returning, I have read a lot of great return stories and I think honestly this site helps us LBSr's prepare ourselves for what may happen. Keep up being strong Elegance!!!

Offline Jaybeecee

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #76 on: October 20, 2016, 09:06:48 AM »
Sounds like you are doing a great job.  You are right, this site helped you prepare yourself for the fact that this is a slow process. Also that the OM won't disappear overnight.

Keep doing what you are doing!
Me 43
H 42
OW 10/16/15
BD 01/16 ILYBINILWY
S 13, S 11
Divorce final 8/24/16
xH marries OW 10/14/16

Offline BeaconTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #77 on: October 20, 2016, 10:31:27 AM »
Thank you jaybeecee,  HS helped me understand MLC and what goes on in the minds of our spouses going thru it. People's stories have taught me how to proceed and that the most important part is being happy with who I am. No one ever wants to go through this debacle yet here we are and theven choices are to wallow in our despair or get up and make US better. That is what I have done and I love my life now, I only can hope that my W sees this and she will learn to love her life also. Then maybe someday we can love ourselves as a stronger couple.

Thank you all forb your support  ;D

Offline Shadoe

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #78 on: October 20, 2016, 01:27:17 PM »
Beacon,


I second Jay, you sound great. You story has definitely helped to step back in my situation. Thank you for the updates.
And so she took the patches of her life and sewed them together to make wings.

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~Albert Einstein

Not my Circus, Not my monkeys. But if you're either going to force them on me or leave me to deal with them, don't be surprised when I give you back monkey carcasses.

Offline BeaconTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Hey, are you making it out on a limb
« Reply #79 on: October 21, 2016, 06:16:37 AM »
Thank you Shadoe, it certainly has taken a lot to get to the this point but it absolutely is possible. I will post updates as much as possible, I think that other's stories really do help us along the way. So if my story can help one person at least I will be happy.

 

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