Author Topic: My Story #4 - Lord, give me patience, but please hurry !  (Read 6241 times)

Offline AlbatrossTopic starter

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My Story #4 - Lord, give me patience, but please hurry !
« on: May 22, 2016, 11:58:37 AM »
I did not post in my topic since  August 02, 2015 which is partially good, partially is not. What happens since then ? Wife make Christmas tree, all by her self ! She bought presents for each of us ! My mother dies at February 01. 2016. she has peaceful death, she dies  in sleep, I will always love You mom, You will live in my memories !  I lost my dog at April 13. 2016. So, quite "awesome" year... Fortunately I finished my transformation so,  I deal with all  of those deaths with no significant damage. It is hard and painful, but I dealing with it well.

W actually see me. She talk to me. Our relation and being is easy. We are stil disconnected. REPLAY is done, I can feel it. She still have a lot work to do on self. She is more calm, less nervous, she is still depressed, but she do not hide anything. She  treat me as husband, but there no talk about us. There is still no any physical contact whatsoever. But when we walk  we walk in line and we are walking closer to each other. Also at home she does not avoid me when we cross each other path. She talking and talking. :) I have no problems to listen and actively contribute. She is changed a lot. Somewhere she wrote this year should be year  of realization whatever that means. She is more into reality. D says that W seems to want be closer to her.

This is in brief. I would wrote more when catch some time for it.


Previous topics:
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3615.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4149.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4305.0

Offline Reallytrying

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Re: #4 - Lord, give me patience, but please hurry !
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2016, 12:14:08 PM »
Attaching. So sorry for the loss of your mom and then the loss of your dog. That is a lot to go through in a short time frame.

Offline Lanzo

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Re: #4 - Lord, give me patience, but please hurry !
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2016, 01:08:01 PM »
Hi There,

I was wondering where you got to, especially as I used to read your thread on replay which is what brought me to HS, anyway look forward to hearing more about your sitch and how you are getting on.


Lanzo
We survive, Life really does go on

Offline Hmmm

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Re: #4 - Lord, give me patience, but please hurry !
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2016, 01:31:28 PM »
Lovely to hear from you Albatross. I too devoured your writing early on.

Pleased there is progress even if it's at a snail's pace
Xxx

Online 1trouble

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Re: #4 - Lord, give me patience, but please hurry !
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2016, 02:02:57 PM »
Albatross
Great to see you back here, I never forgot the beautiful words you wrote about how you feel for your wife...

Lovely to read there are some small tentative positive steps in your story, long may they continue and turn into big confident strides xx
"I can't go back to yesterday I was a different person then"..............Alice in Wonderland

you NEVER know how strong you are, until being strong is the ONLY choice you have"

Offline Anjae

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Re: #4 - Lord, give me patience, but please hurry !
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2016, 03:59:42 PM »
Nice to see you posting, Albatross.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Glad to know that there are some positive steps with your MLCer.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline Thundarr

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Re: #4 - Lord, give me patience, but please hurry !
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2016, 04:15:30 PM »
Hi Al,

Glad to see the good news too.  Will be watching in hopes my XW follows a similar path out of the tunnel.
One day at a time.

Thundarr

Offline Thunder

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Re: #4 - Lord, give me patience, but please hurry !
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2016, 05:17:21 PM »
Al,

I haven't read a lot of your story, even though I have read many of your responses to people, but looking at your information you are about in the same time frame as me.  BD was 2011.

I've seen many changes in my X since then.  Most of them good.
This MLC sure does take years to get through, doesn't it?   ::)

Attaching!   :)
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline AlbatrossTopic starter

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Re: #4 - Lord, give me patience, but please hurry !
« Reply #8 on: May 24, 2016, 01:23:48 AM »
Hi There,
I was wondering where you got to, especially as I used to read your thread on replay which is what brought me to HS, anyway look forward to hearing more about your sitch and how you are getting on.
Lanzo

Seems that being absent from this forum was necessary for my "Hero path". I did REPLAY. Maybe I would open a topic about MLC as whole soon and try to share with people what I learned about it after all of this years.

Lovely to hear from you Albatross. I too devoured your writing early on.

Pleased there is progress even if it's at a snail's pace
Xxx

Thank you Hmmm. Actually she made huge moves forward in this year.


Albatross
Great to see you back here, I never forgot the beautiful words you wrote about how you feel for your wife...

Lovely to read there are some small tentative positive steps in your story, long may they continue and turn into big confident strides xx

I am at very good place with my self. I love her stil... But she is stil not lovable :D There is no romantic feelings at all from my side. I do not see her in relationship with me. So, we are two single people who live in same place, sharing kids, history of marriage :D and economy. We are like roommates, not friends neither quittances. Hard to label it. Anyway I learned that One suppose not to label anything and anyone. So, I can live with that. And yes, I feel sorry for her and can empathize with her and with her struggle. Just accepting her as she is like always I did. And as I wrote she made huge movements in this year.


Nice to see you posting, Albatross.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Glad to know that there are some positive steps with your MLCer.

Thank you Anjee. Yes, she moves in big steps this year.


Hi Al,

Glad to see the good news too.  Will be watching in hopes my XW follows a similar path out of the tunnel.

Let's hope for that !

Al,

I haven't read a lot of your story, even though I have read many of your responses to people, but looking at your information you are about in the same time frame as me.  BD was 2011.

I've seen many changes in my X since then.  Most of them good.
This MLC sure does take years to get through, doesn't it?   ::)

Attaching!   :)

Yes, but let's hope they get over point of no return in their "Hero path"...

Attaching. So sorry for the loss of your mom and then the loss of your dog. That is a lot to go through in a short time frame.

Thank You, it was horrible... But I take it as adult people suppose to do. Like Yoda said: "Death is natural part of life."


Offline AlbatrossTopic starter

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Re: #4 - Lord, give me patience, but please hurry !
« Reply #9 on: August 12, 2016, 12:46:23 PM »
When she were in replay, I did not exists for her, so it was much easier for me. (eating popcorn)
Now I am involved in her life, not because I want to, it is because she wants it. (eating crap)
So, I am again drugged in her world of insanity. (half baked MLC-er) (She trying to reconnect, but wont work, not because of me.)
Like was before BD and she were in process of disconnection.

She running out of drugs. (Nothing works for her anymore)
OM's does not make her life better, in fact make it worst. (So far I know she is out or replay)
So, so far I know it is now, she is desperate for drugs, but she spend all of them.
And she conclude that she suppose to live as hermit because nobody could understand her.
Can You see how rigid and stubborn, proud egomaniacs they are  ?
Nothing is wrong with me, everyone else is fuc*ed up up, world is firetruck*ed up.

Anyway as You can see when she were in later phases of replay I was not so much on forums because I ate my popcorn, now I would be more involved here... Crisis like going backward how goes forward.

What's a gonna be ? Running back in replay to hide into crisis or hitting finally liminal depression ?
« Last Edit: August 12, 2016, 12:50:53 PM by Albatross »

 

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