[trusting]

Perhaps the best guests on the show might be those who have reconciled (or even not) post MLC.

That would definitely be helpful.  My H is a poster child for MLC and our situation would be a good, solid example but he would never go on a show about MLC  now (not that I would ask) because he is "NOT having a midlife crisis."  The one time very early on I mentioned the possibility I was immediately shot down, told not to put a label on him, not to put him in a box.  I just didn't want to accept the new him, etc. 

I think some of the most valuable insight we get is from those who  have been through it themselves and can attest to what an MLCer is feeling and what goes on in their heads.

[LettingGo]

First of all, I hate to say "I told you so...." but I KNEW the public opinion would be hurtful to us standers.... I mean,really, I can get those opinions from my own family, friends and colleagues!! But you know what? The universe has a powerful way of humbling us when we think we know how someone else should be living their lives.... if there's a lesson the most vociferous naysayers need to learn, they will learn the hard way... just like WE did!

That being said, glad to hear you are human, RCR!! All this AGAPE stuff is fine and dandy, LOL!, but let's indulge in a little naughtiness, shall we? I feel the SAME way you do about Angelina Jolie, only Brad wasn't her first conquest... Billy Bob Thornton was also married when they hooked up together, I believe... and yes, they both do a lot of good in the world, and it's appreciated, but that doesn't excuse everything else with no apology! Not that I think celebrities owe the genereal public and apology... EVER.... but, don't forget that Angelina has MAJOR, MAJOR issues with her Dad, Jon Voight and his leaving her Mother for another woman, I believe...BIGTIME Daddy issues...

Now, it has always seemed to me that Brad and Angelina are still together because they NEVER STAND STILL for one moment.... they're like sharks.... always moving and DOING stuff....if one can believe the tabloids.

Now, I've just indulged in judging people I don't even know, based upon media presentation, and determined they aren't living their lives the way I think they should be.... I would hate it if that were done to me.... oh, right, it IS done to me. 

To thine own self be true.

[readytofixmyselffirst]

I don't try and compare my situation to actors and celebrities as their own narcissism and self-esteem issues make MLC seem like nothing. Nor do I really get involved with those that report on them as they are so quick to build them up then tear them down.

It would have been a classic if Dr. Phil screamed, "Adulterer!!" and the audience stoned them. Right on TV. Two lives sacrificed and thousands of marriages saved.

Ratings would have never been higher. I call it a win-win situation.

[Covenant for Life]

LG (and RCR), I have been waiting for Angelina and Brad to reap what they have sown ever since Brad left Jen.  The problem I have with us not judging the behavior of celebrities when it comes to marriage is that society then follows suit.  Society as a whole now looks upon marriage vows as no big deal.  So, what we currently have is a swath of serial polygamists who see nothing wrong with being unfaithful to their spouse.

So, I DO have a problem with Brangelina,  LeAnn Rhimes/Eddie C, and all the others who have broken their marriage vows.  My ultimate disgust is reserved for Amy Grant, a supposed CHRISTIAN singer, who left her covenant husband for Vince Gil without batting an eye.  I love listening to KLOVE, but whenever one of her songs comes on I promptly change the station.  She is the epitome of hypocrisy.  Her husband was devastated by her leaving their marriage and destroying their family.  And, I do not blame him for being bitter.  She, too, will reap what she has shown.  Or, like HB's icon reminds us, the karma bus is coming.

[leftylulu]

Hi Trusting

I once asked my MLCer if he was having a midlife crisis and he said he he wasn't sure because he didn't know what it felt like. Before I asked he went out and pierced his tongue at 46, had a 29 year old girlfriend, drinking, which he's not a drinker, emptiness in his eyes, talked about how the world was coming to an end in a paranoid way, telling me he had voices in his head, not sleeping at night because he was afraid of the silence, hot flashes etc, etc, etc. His boss even told him he thought he was having a midlife crisis and his boss is a nurse. If those are not symptoms of a MLC then I don't know what is.

I started watching the show not knowing quite what to expect. I thought it was going to be hard to watch because of what feelings it might have brought out in me. I didn't find it informational so I shut it off and went about my business. I also kept in mind that it was only an hour long show and how in the world could he even begin to address what really goes on in a MLC. We all know how complex this issue is but even if the show identified with one person and that person can start their own research process then the show was a success.

[OldPilot]

So over the weekend RCR posted some more articles on the Dr. Phil show.

The links can be found at the bottom of the main page under the twitter links or on the Facebook page

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#!/pages/The-Heros-Spouse/283743315482

Good job RCR on telling us about the show, I am hoping to watch a recording of it this wednesday.

Anyone else read these articles??

[whyme2]

I recently started attending Browns Bridge/ North Point church in the metro Atlanta area.....with Andy Stanley.  His father is on national television on Sundays he is Dr. Charles Stanley.

They are doing a mini 5 week series on Life Applications....
Great words to hear.....I will post links to each session.  They are about 30-40 minutes each but well worth your time....it has help me bring some peace and perspective.  If you like the approach...Andy Stanley also has s series on LOVE.....that I can post as well.

Hope it will bring some solice to each and everyone that takes the time to watch.

http://www.brownsbridge.org/messages/life_apps

Select a part on the left hand side....5 parts.

Light and Love

[Bewildered]

Just watched a beautiful wedding and whilst Kate looked magical and so very happy the most heart wrenching part for me and point part was the Bishop of Londons reading and the poem by William and Kate ...

The Right Reverend Dr Richard Chartres

He stressed marriage aimed to help man and woman become "what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves".

Addressing Prince William and the new Duchess of Cambridge, he added: "You have both made your decision today - 'I will' - and by making this new relationship you have aligned yourselves with what we believe is the way in which life is spiritually evolving, and which will lead to a creative future for the human race.

"Marriage should transform, as husband and wife make one another their work of art. This transformation is possible as long as we do not harbour ambitions to reform our partner. There must be no coercion if the spirit is to flow; each must give the other space and freedom."

Stressing the difficulties people have "weaning" themselves away from being self-centred, he warned of the risks of loading "our partner with too great a burden" in the search of happiness.

The Bishop suggested the marriage was a beacon of hope in troubled times. "Many are full of fear for the future of today's world but the message of the celebrations in this country and far beyond its shores is the right one - this is a joyful day!" he said.

"It is good that people in every continent are able to share in these celebrations because this is, as every wedding day should be, a day of hope."

He prayed that the millions watching "do everything in their power to support and uphold you in your new life".

"We stand looking forward to a century which is full of promise and full of peril. Human beings are confronting the question of how to use wisely the power which has been given to us through the discoveries of the last century.

"We shall not be converted to the promise of the future by more knowledge, but rather by an increase of loving wisdom and reverence, for life, for the earth and for one another."


Prayer

A prayer written by Prince William and Kate Middleton was today read out by the Bishop of London who hailed their marriage as a shining hope across the world.

Read by the Bishop of London

God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.

In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.

Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.

B Happy Wedding Wishes to Catherine and William may they escape MLC !!

[Trustandlove]

Hi, B,

I watched this together with my children, I'll admit that some tears did fall.  I was stressing to the kids how important this was, what a huge committment it was (particularly for them, as Kate is saying "I will" to so much more than just a husband....)  They asked some questions about our wedding, but no mention of current sitch. 

We particularly paid attention to the sermon, and the prayers; I hope I didn't over do it. 

The most poignant part for me was when he said that one couldn't place too much expectation for happiness on one's partner....  my goodness, it was everything that we've been learning here. 

My D is just impressed with the celebrity of it all; I think S got it better, though. 

My prayers for them go out, and for us all. 

[Mermaid]

I'm neither religious nor a royalist, but it's been impossible to miss. It's been live here in Southern Europe too, in all the cafés. Everyone expects me to be jumping up and down for joy, as I am "their" resident Brit.

I think theirs is a marriage of love, I hope it survives the inevtiable pressures of public life, and I wish them every happiness. Hope neither of them faces MLC....

Kate's dress is stunning, and Prince Willy is going bald already...