Skip to main content

Author Topic: MLC Monster LBS Stages 4

  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 23402
  • Gender: Female
MLC Monster Re: LBS Stages 4
#50: January 18, 2019, 01:43:15 PM
Anon it also seems pretty common for the OP to be a co-worker.
  • Logged
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

U
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2533
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
#51: January 18, 2019, 06:40:37 PM
The OW or should I say child (20 years younger) was a student of my EX husband.  He was asked to help her with a research project and the rest is history.
  • Logged
God is with her, she will not fall
Psalms 46:5
Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/groups/paintedpraize

P
  • ***
  • Full Member
  • Posts: 148
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
#52: March 24, 2019, 05:36:36 AM
My xh's ap was an employee who is also 20 years younger than him. He's older than her mother  :o. I wonder if she'll be worried he'll hit on her mom. ;D That's a disturbing thought.

I think I'm in acceptance now but I'm not sure. I rarely get angry anymore. In fact, when I think about the things he's done, I imagine I should be but I can't. Definitely past denial. I know bargaining is out of the question. I will never beg for him. Not worth it. I've only cried in front of him once during this ridiculous situation and it hurt my pride. Never again.
  • Logged
MLC XH - 40 at BD
M - 32 at BD
My grandmother died 12/16
Mini BD - Jan 2017  - Doesn't want to be married to a "sad" person.
BD - July 2017 - spent the previous 3 months in his home country with OW
OW discovered Aug 2017
EA started Dec 2016? PA start unsure
Filed for D - Aug 2017
D - Nov 2017
Married - 15 Y
No kids
Married OW - 01/2019

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1584
  • Gender: Female
  • Mlc- Cake eater for 3 yr now vanisher
Re: LBS Stages 4
#53: March 24, 2019, 12:50:47 PM
H ow is a younger coworker. Never been married and no kids she is 37 and h is 52 xx
  • Logged
Me 52
H53
Divorced 3/dec/2019
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Finances Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!

M
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 3614
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
#54: March 24, 2019, 04:05:16 PM
Penelope, I cried in front of my H once over OW, and it hurt my pride, mainly because he walked away and left me crying in the middle of a field.

I rarely cry any more, rarely feel much anger any more, bargaining is all done with, not bargaining ever again. I hope these are good signs.
  • Logged
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1920
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
#55: February 02, 2020, 07:07:40 AM
Anon it also seems pretty common for the OP to be a co-worker.

Yes, younger and co-worker

My H graduated high school the year his ow was born!   ??? :o

Sea
  • Logged
Seahorses have one mate for life...

D
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 495
  • Gender: Male
Re: LBS Stages 4
#56: February 02, 2020, 07:19:39 AM
Anon it also seems pretty common for the OP to be a co-worker.

Yes, younger and co-worker

My H graduated high school the year his ow was born!   ??? :o

Sea

MOM was a few years younger and a co worker as well.  Also, in a position to advance her at work, which I recently found out happened while I was working on financial disclosures and noticed her much larger salary.  I hope its everything she wanted.  It sure caused a lot of damage to get it.

I'm adding an edit:  I dont believe the affair was motivated by a desire to move up.  She didn't need to do that to be promoted.  She's a very capable, intelligent woman. 
  • Logged
« Last Edit: February 02, 2020, 07:22:21 AM by Disillusioned »
M=51
W=47
D=8
BD Feb 17 Thinking of divorce
Atomic BD June 17 Spying revealed OM at work
Still home.  Threatened to leave several times and has asked me to leave about a dozen. 
Says divorce proceedings will start Jan 18.
She has scheduled mediation Feb 7,  2018
I moved out March 16, 2018
Several mediations, mostly instigated by me.  Foot dragging by STBXW.  Nothing filed. Yet.
5/2019 STBXW filed D behind my back despite signed agreement to mediate.
I retain attorney.
STBXW still hasn't told me and no further action.
Elephant in the room has been addressed.  No further action atm.  Weighing my options.
12/16/19  She files financial paperwork.  Divorce proceeding.

  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 23402
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
#57: February 02, 2020, 07:53:46 AM
Well they say about 70/79% of affairs happen with a co-worker.
  • Logged
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1920
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
#58: February 02, 2020, 08:04:15 AM
Interesting - when we lived in our previous state, all the co-workers knew that he loved his wife and kids and we were known as quite the family.  Often the co workers (all female) told me how much H talked about me (good stories) and how much he loved his family life.

Only when we moved, and the female coworkers weren't aware of this did everything seem to lead to H being able to move into an affair situation.  It's interesting to me...

Sea
  • Logged
Seahorses have one mate for life...

M
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 6844
  • Gender: Male
Re: LBS Stages 4
#59: February 02, 2020, 09:17:45 AM
OM is a co-worker who is at least 5 years younger than my wife, almost 10 years younger than me.

I should have known something was going on a couple of months before BD when my wife was very excited about the possibility of becoming a union representative, something she had never had any interest in. The OM is not a teacher, he's a technician, but he's the president of the school union.

My apologies to anyone who serves in a union position. I've done so myself and I know most people who do are dedicated volunteers but being union president is a perfect position for a narcissist like the OM. It sounds very prestigious, is relatively easy to achieve because very few people actually want to be union president, and it protects him from his bosses who I have been told all hate him. He was demoted at work a few years before BD and I've been told he would have been fired if he hadn't been union president. My wife also ended up being demoted about one year after BD.

My wife told me several times during our marriage that her coworkers would tell her how lucky she was to be married to me and how spoiled she was by me. At the time, she felt the same way. From what I hear, the OM doesn't spoil her, it seems to be the other way around. Makes me think maybe she really has found her true love.
  • Logged

 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.