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Author Topic: Discussion Changes

F
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Discussion Changes
OP: August 03, 2016, 08:30:58 AM
I was just wondering if there can be a list of changes that others have made since MLC.
Just some of mine.

1. I don't react to EVERYTHING that's said about me.
2. I listen
3. I never give my option unless asked (learned that it's not necessary), you get a lot more out of live when you listen.
4. Gave up cussing (hard one)
5. Stop judging my family
6. Stopped expecting everyone to be perfect
7. Give more compliments when Mr. FH would do something nice instead of taking it for granted
8. Learned to be alright by myself.
9. Learned techniques to rid myself of OCD.

These are just a couple, my list was very long

FH 
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« Last Edit: August 03, 2016, 02:51:48 PM by Anjae »
Finding Hope
R
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Re: Changes
#1: August 03, 2016, 08:56:38 AM
Important ones for me:
Found ways to manage my anxiety.
More willing to confront my fears and try new things (parasailing, Ferris wheel, ferry to another country)
More comfortable in my own skin.
More spontaneous
Improved relationship with my kids, extended family, and dear friends.
Learn to give people the benefit of the doubt - assume neutral intent.

Still love to curse though 😄
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Re: Changes
#2: August 03, 2016, 09:10:26 AM
Pretty much everything on RT and FH list, but also I would add:

Learned to become more compassionate
Learned to be in present moment more often
Boundaries
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“In the end, you’ve got to be your own hero because everyone’s busy trying to save themselves.”
R
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Re: Changes
#3: August 03, 2016, 09:17:12 AM
One big one I forgot. Learned to GAL for the sake of getting a life. Early on if I did something I wanted to be sure H knew so I could prove I was fun. Now I do it because I want to whether he hears about it or not. Simply enjoying life to be enjoying it.
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Re: Changes
#4: August 03, 2016, 09:39:23 AM
I'm learning I'm a work in progress.
I'm learning to ask for help when I need it and getting better at it.
I'm learning to recognize when I need to set boundaries, not just for myself but for others.
I'm learning that I can be at peace with myself from time to time and that it's ok to feel my emotions and move through them.

I've learned that I can do things on my own and figure out problems and create my own solutions.
I've learned that I can make it on my own.

More to come, I'm sure. 
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"Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."  - don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don't take anything personally.
3. Don't make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

My Journey: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9093.0
F
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Re: Changes
#5: August 03, 2016, 09:57:09 AM
Seeing the light

OH BIG ONE, learning to do things for myself. Car, home repairs. You can find anything on youtube  8) ;)
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Finding Hope
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Re: Changes
#6: August 03, 2016, 10:23:15 AM
Quote from: Finding Hope on August 03, 2016, 09:57:09 AM
Seeing the light

OH BIG ONE, learning to do things for myself. Car, home repairs. You can find anything on youtube  8) ;)

Right!  And you can also just ask the people at the hardware store.  LOL
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"Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."  - don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don't take anything personally.
3. Don't make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

My Journey: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9093.0
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Re: Changes
#7: August 04, 2016, 03:03:22 PM
I think I've mastered the art of patience  ;D
To have boundaries
Not to be a fixer
Not to enable
To live in the moment - (still have to work on that one at times)
To allow myself to feel and acknowledge my emotions
To validate H when he does something right (I see now that this was lacking a bit before BD)

The biggest one for me - To respond and not react.
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M 1992
BD June 2011
Still with OW - No legal action

I am the lighthouse. I don't go out into the storm after the ship.  The ship finds me.
K
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Re: Changes
#8: August 04, 2016, 03:23:11 PM
Looking at all of your responses, I would say I would love to "learn" each and every one of those things you all list. But alas, still a work in progress. I do find I am more compassionate these days. And introspective.

And yes, still curse. A lot.  ;D
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Me 50
H 49
S15
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance
R
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Re: Changes
#9: August 04, 2016, 04:21:19 PM
One thing we should all learn is just how strong we are. Life keeps kicking and we keep rising!
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