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Author Topic: Discussion Physical Symptoms during MLC

P
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Discussion Re: Physical Symptoms during MLC
#40: October 03, 2016, 12:51:48 AM
When I saw H last month, his lack of vivaciousness struck me, in both his demeanor and his eyes.  It was as if his soul were half-dead.  It was disconcerting.  I was wondering whether he took any recreational or psychotropic drugs but couldn't find any (found evidence of an OW instead).

Also, I noticed a similar change in his facial features than with Ben Affleck: I used to take drawing classes and sketched H frequently.  His facial characteristics could be brought out by using straight lines.  Now, there is much more roundness to his face, especially in the area of his cheeks, and his nose, too.
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Me: 51 (43 at BD1)
H: 57 (48 at BD1)
D: 14 (6 at BD1)
Met in 1995, married since 2000
BD 1: August 2014
BD 2: October 2015, H moved abroad
August 2018: Received divorce papers in the mail unexpectedly
May 2019: H gave up his job and moved about 1.5 hours to where D11 (at the time) and I live
Divorced: January 2020
Moving on

K
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Re: Physical Symptoms during MLC
#41: October 03, 2016, 04:01:17 AM
Hers one i havent read yet.   
My h used to complain that everything tasted soo salty.
  Funny you mention the smell.. i just  realized my room doesnt smell anymore. I would always tell h how it smelled. I would always wash the sheets.
As for the aging .Yep. Gray bloated . Looks tired.    I think most is do to stress. Living 2 lives cant be easy. And the guilt. Their heads must spin at night,so how could they get good sleeep.
Stress can do alot.
   Oh also my h was hypersexual before he left. Then i found viagra. Was getting that for a while but not for me.   Not sure if he still uses it . But i think he does .
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Re: Physical Symptoms during MLC
#42: October 03, 2016, 06:45:25 AM
The smell or odor is the most disturbing to me.

It lingers even after he washes his clothes and showers.
I truly think it's because of hormonal changes.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

N

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Re: Physical Symptoms during MLC
#43: October 03, 2016, 07:11:59 AM
I grew up with 3 brothers and I never lived with any boyfriends before H.
So when  that musty "teenage" odor started to appear strongly in our bedroom as soon as we moved from our house to the apartment a few years ago, I just thought, "Oh, that's how men smell" and I also figured I was noticing it more for some reason because we had just moved to a new place and maybe it was just more noticeable there. 

I just explained it away.  But H had been going to the gym every day for years and it wasn't until then, when I figure his MLC was starting, that I really noticed the smell.  It's like his sweat smelled different...stronger. 

I agree, it seems very likely it could be due to hormonal changes.
He had also secretly started drinking then.  I don't know exactly how much alcohol affects body odor, but I do remember reading somewhere that it does have some effect, something about how the alcohol breaks down and comes out your pores. 
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The desire to be loved is the last illusion. Give it up and you shall be free. ~ Margaret Atwood

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Re: Physical Symptoms during MLC
#44: October 03, 2016, 07:14:53 AM
The smell or odor is the most disturbing to me.

It lingers even after he washes his clothes and showers.
I truly think it's because of hormonal changes.

The smell was one the weirdest things for me. It never went away. It was there after he brushed his teeth, took a shower, clean clothes. It took me awhile to associate it with him.
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We all do damage. Character is determined by how we repair it.


BD - December 2012
OW1 confirmed - December 2012 on-and-off for 34 months and counting (still refers to her as just a 'friend')
Wants to live like roommates - November 2013
I moved out - April 2015
H is still checking the anchor

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Re: Physical Symptoms during MLC
#45: October 03, 2016, 07:18:39 AM
I grew up with 3 brothers and I never lived with any boyfriends before H.
So when  that musty "teenage" odor started to appear strongly in our bedroom as soon as we moved from our house to the apartment a few years ago, I just thought, "Oh, that's how men smell" and I also figured I was noticing it more for some reason because we had just moved to a new place and maybe it was just more noticeable there. 

I just explained it away.  But H had been going to the gym every day for years and it wasn't until then, when I figure his MLC was starting, that I really noticed the smell.  It's like his sweat smelled different...stronger. 

I agree, it seems very likely it could be due to hormonal changes.
He had also secretly started drinking then.  I don't know exactly how much alcohol affects body odor, but I do remember reading somewhere that it does have some effect, something about how the alcohol breaks down and comes out your pores.

I had explained it away too. I thought maybe the constant exercising was causing it, then I thought it could be the changes in his diet - I never considered drinking but something was definitely come out of his pores. 
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We all do damage. Character is determined by how we repair it.


BD - December 2012
OW1 confirmed - December 2012 on-and-off for 34 months and counting (still refers to her as just a 'friend')
Wants to live like roommates - November 2013
I moved out - April 2015
H is still checking the anchor

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Re: Physical Symptoms during MLC
#46: October 03, 2016, 07:26:55 AM
I don't know about the drinking.  My H never drinks, he's been sober for about 29 years.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

w
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Re: Physical Symptoms during MLC
#47: October 03, 2016, 07:48:16 AM
I have noticed the odor as well.  My H drinks heavily and daily so not sure if the smell is more alcohol related.  He smells very metallic.  Also the sweating and acne are horrible.  He also has issues with ED, I think.  TMI WARNING FOR SAKE FOR CLARITY.  very interested but seems like he may be literally having a heart attack during and after.  he blames the enormous amount of weight gain.  I think it's guilt added to that. 
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Re: Physical Symptoms during MLC
#48: October 03, 2016, 08:02:03 AM
I don't know about the drinking.  My H never drinks, he's been sober for about 29 years.

My ex has also been sober for 16 -17 years now so I didn't think it was from drinking either. His dad actually asked me if he had started drinking again because of his behavior.
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We all do damage. Character is determined by how we repair it.


BD - December 2012
OW1 confirmed - December 2012 on-and-off for 34 months and counting (still refers to her as just a 'friend')
Wants to live like roommates - November 2013
I moved out - April 2015
H is still checking the anchor

S
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Re: Physical Symptoms during MLC
#49: October 03, 2016, 09:19:45 AM
This is an interesting thread  I related to MrsCoco descriptions earlier in this thread. Like most illnesses there is some common like that is a precursor for a problem. We may not be able to prevent a MLC II think we are hoping to find a common remedy other than time!!!
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I care🤗
H 51
W 58
M 22 Years
2 AD both married from my first M
BD 12/15 moved out-in replay, vanisher, MOW in Atlanta
D 2/17

 

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