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Author Topic: Discussion No Contact early on, what were your results?

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Discussion Re: No Contact early on, what were your results?
#70: September 03, 2016, 03:12:03 PM
Rug, Evas, who has been posting to this thread, is reconciled. So are RCR and Stayed. As well as BBhelp http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8080.0 ;F inding Hope http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8174.0 ; Sada http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8151.0 ; hopeandfaith http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=7200.0 or NotGivingUpOnU http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2277.0  just to name a few.

There is lower case no contact that is quite different from No Contact. That difference is RCR creation, not mine. I asked RCR to come by an explain the difference.
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Re: No Contact early on, what were your results?
#71: September 03, 2016, 04:15:08 PM
Quote from: Anjae on September 03, 2016, 03:12:03 PM
Rug, Evas, who has been posting to this thread, is reconciled. So are RCR and Stayed. As well as BBhelp http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8080.0 ;F inding Hope http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8174.0 ; Sada http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8151.0 ; hopeandfaith http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=7200.0 or NotGivingUpOnU http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2277.0  just to name a few.

There is lower case no contact that is quite different from No Contact. That difference is RCR creation, not mine. I asked RCR to come by an explain the difference.

The rest of us have moved on passed this. I would suggest that do too. You are holding up progress. We are now moving on, whether you want to or not. Are you on or out?
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« Last Edit: September 03, 2016, 04:17:15 PM by My3girls »
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Re: No Contact early on, what were your results?
#72: September 03, 2016, 04:25:26 PM
Look.
I've done a lot of damage on this site and my take will be different than someone else.    I'm just saying.   I've been NC for four years.   I saw her one time about a year ago.   She looks like she hasn't taken a p*** since she left the marriage.   If I was or wasn't contacting her seems to be of no significance......
As far as the reconciliation stories.......?    They are few and far between. 
I've seen many, many people come and go from this site.   This site isn't a cure all for everyone.......
The thread is a simple concept, a simple question..    Does NC help or hinder.
IMHO.   Being and anchor and paving the way is counter productive....   They are hell bent on pursuing their own personal madness.   Let them have at it with zero input from us...  It is their deal.   We aren't the one that destroyed them and we ain't the ones to fix them.  In other words.  I didn't lead her into this madness and I am not the one to lead her out.
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« Last Edit: September 03, 2016, 05:12:48 PM by Anjae »
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Re: No Contact early on, what were your results?
#73: September 03, 2016, 04:30:36 PM
For those with therapists, maybe you should let them do a write up of what they think and post it here. I think that should yield some interesting results. Whose therapist besides mine has observed this site? Considering we're talking about NC.

Mine wanted to see what kind of things were being discussed. She was interested in how things were presented and what solutions were being provided. She had some interesting comments. Many positive, but she had some reservations. Anyone else have a therapist that checked out the site and forum?
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« Last Edit: September 03, 2016, 04:33:22 PM by My3girls »
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Re: No Contact early on, what were your results?
#74: September 03, 2016, 04:45:55 PM
I guess NC is pretty controversial..I can only add my own experience NC

Wish I had the first time right off the bat....HAD to this second time. Currently NC at 3 years.

IMHO If the MLCer is driving you insane, being verbally abusive, is (or has been) physically abusive, yelling, threatening trying to intimidate and control you, not respecting boundaries, dragging you into drama with the kids or the ow/om or filling you in on the current sex life with an OM/OW or any other thing you feel is being said to intentionally hurt you. Sometimes just seeing them or talking like almost normal people brings pain. It's the only way to protect your sanity and heal. You are allowed to say " I cannot or will not do this" You are protecting you. Then take whatever time you may need to work on you and get stronger.

Maybe some of you will read the list and say some of this goes without saying. " Like well if he (or she ) ever hit me that would be my limit"  or "If they are living with the ow/om that would be my limit" Only you can decide when you have had enough.

 NC is for you so you can focus on you,heal, learn to love yourself, be grateful,  and move forward.
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« Last Edit: September 03, 2016, 05:07:14 PM by in it »
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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Re: No Contact early on, what were your results?
#75: September 03, 2016, 05:07:57 PM
Here is a thread that was started to have other people share what their therapists have said about MLC:

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=7826.msg507232#msg507232

It is not exactly what you are asking for in that I do not know whether these therapists ever checked out HS or not.
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Re: No Contact early on, what were your results?
#76: September 03, 2016, 05:18:50 PM
Quote from: xyzcf on September 03, 2016, 05:07:57 PM
Here is a thread that was started to have other people share what their therapists have said about MLC:

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=7826.msg507232#msg507232

It is not exactly what you are asking for in that I do not know whether these therapists ever checked out HS or not.

Could you post the threads that are specific to the topic here for those who are interested? Thanks.
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Re: No Contact early on, what were your results?
#77: September 03, 2016, 05:24:56 PM
Quote from: My3girls on September 03, 2016, 04:30:36 PM
For those with therapists, maybe you should let them do a write up of what they think and post it here. I think that should yield some interesting results. Whose therapist besides mine has observed this site? Considering we're talking about NC.

Mine wanted to see what kind of things were being discussed. She was interested in how things were presented and what solutions were being provided. She had some interesting comments. Many positive, but she had some reservations. Anyone else have a therapist that checked out the site and forum?

My therapist hasn't seen the site but was interested in knowing what it was doing for me and what I was getting out of it.

My neighbor who is a therapist told me she is often apprehensive about support groups because the people on then are not professionals.

However, I have to say getting to know someone who is a therapist will also lead a person to the conclusion that therapists can have a lot of problems, maybe even more than the average person!

I try to think of all the input I get as sort of an ant colony that is working together on a bigger project.
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Re: No Contact early on, what were your results?
#78: September 03, 2016, 05:37:31 PM
Velika, our therapist are trained for this, and I agree with your therapist friend. There's a fine line that gets crossed in these kinds of groups. Hence the disclaimers. But, there is a certain responsibility that goes along with facilitating something like this. You can do a lot of damage to those who take things at face value. Every situation is different, we all should hold ourselves accountable for how we conduct ourselves and what we say.
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-You just can't make this s*it up.
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Re: No Contact early on, what were your results?
#79: September 03, 2016, 08:01:13 PM
To the people that have MLC therapists, how did you find on that specifically dealt w/ MLC? From what I've read, there is no MLC recognition. Are they hard to find? Are there ones for the LBS, as well as the MLCer?  Maybe this is not the right thread for this?

Sorry to hijack My3  it's just you stated 'our therapist are trained for this' and I just want to build more on that. Please feel free to reply on my thread, so this can not continue to intrude on this important topic.
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« Last Edit: September 03, 2016, 08:05:16 PM by Elegance »
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