Author Topic: My Story Removing the Crepe  (Read 5728 times)

Offline calamity

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My Story Removing the Crepe
« Reply #10 on: October 18, 2016, 09:50:02 PM »
Yep it stinks, or stings [typo?].  Can you imagine if your roles were reversed?  No of course you can't. :P

Offline 31andcounting

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Removing the Crepe
« Reply #11 on: October 19, 2016, 07:07:00 AM »
never ceases to amaze me...uggh!
(hugs)31
« Last Edit: October 20, 2016, 02:33:14 PM by Anjae »
Hurting people hurt people :(

Offline Finding Hope

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Removing the Crepe
« Reply #12 on: October 19, 2016, 08:10:12 AM »
They surely can be thoughtless. I don't think there was any ill intent. Great that the sting doesn't last long, means your healing.

FH
« Last Edit: October 20, 2016, 02:33:50 PM by Anjae »
Finding Hope

Offline 31andcounting

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Removing the Crepe
« Reply #13 on: October 19, 2016, 10:55:23 AM »
Yes, your post shows your strength!!
(hugs)
31
« Last Edit: October 20, 2016, 02:32:47 PM by Anjae »
Hurting people hurt people :(

Offline theheartknowsTopic starter

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Removing the Crepe
« Reply #14 on: October 19, 2016, 08:13:22 PM »
No CJ, I have tried to be a bit more tactful than to talk about my trips with BF. Although, I must say that there have been many places I have gone that I have thought of H. I see so many things that make me think of him. A few weeks ago,BF and I were at a museum exhibit of a period of history that fascinated H. BF took pics for me to send H.

FH and 31, I don't feel "strong" or 'healed" exactly, but I do feel resigned. This is my life now. H is no longer a central part of it (and btw, neither is son at this point) It is sad, and sometimes I still feel sad. But, I also know that at 57, I want to live out the rest of my life fully. I certainly hadn't planned on that involving another man. I didn't look for that...but then again, maybe it isn't all about me and what I want. Maybe God has other plans.

I feel very fortunate that I still have my home (and am crossing my fingers I can afford to keep it after the first of the year.) I have a job I still enjoy (most of the time) and a big-hearted man who wants to share his time with me. I also have my health...and my books...my sister and my connection to spirit!

I am ready to take off the crepe!

Hey Anjae, that is the new title of my thread "Removing The Crepe!" I don't know how, can you change it for me?
« Last Edit: October 20, 2016, 02:33:24 PM by Anjae »
You never know what's around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you've climbed a mountain.”

Offline theheartknowsTopic starter

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Removing the Crepe
« Reply #15 on: October 20, 2016, 10:46:55 AM »
BF called right after I had posted last night. I have told him about the site and what it is about. I shared with him last night that there have been some of us who have been posting for more than 5 years....and some re-connections.

He said, "Honey, are you one of the women who are still standing?"

Whoa...good question. I have not been able to make myself click the "done" status on HS. I do not think I will never be "done" with H. But, if H came back asking for us to give it another try, I think I would have to say 'no.'

I will never love another human being the way I loved H. We had a very special connection. But for whatever reason, and only God knows that reason, that connection in the form of marriage and life long partnership, was closed. I do not think that even if he came back into my life and asked for us to try another time, that connection would be available to us again. To use a parallel from the creation story, "our eyes have been opened" and the path back to innocence is gone.

I miss H's charm. I miss his humor. I miss his ridiculous generosity. I miss being completely in sync with another human being. e always knew my heart...he just always knew. Our relationship was very intuitive. And, he will always be part of me, always. But our relationship as a couple is no longer an option for me. God, has put other ways of being in my path to be explored. I feel I am being shown new ways to relate to myself other than part of the family I so adored (and held onto with an iron fist) I am being shown new ways to love, and how to make room in my heart for a man who is unlike H in so many ways! (But is adorable in his own humaness.)

This is not the path I would have chosen in a million years. But it is the one I am one and I continue to ask God everyday to direct me with an open heart. My heart will always be open to H, no matter what, but not my life.





« Last Edit: October 20, 2016, 02:33:40 PM by Anjae »
You never know what's around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you've climbed a mountain.”

Offline calamity

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Re: Removing the Crepe
« Reply #16 on: October 20, 2016, 10:02:41 PM »
Wow thk.  Not wow that you've made a decision but it's just kind of evolved and then here you are.  I'm typing on my tablet so sorry but I can't m ake  sense.

Offline LearningIamOk

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Re: Removing the Crepe
« Reply #17 on: October 21, 2016, 03:48:30 PM »
THK, that was a heck of a post. Self reflective and then determined to move forward. I feel the same as you do about a reconciliation. That door is shut, but I would like xH to get to a point that he would be able to carry on a meaningful conversation with me. That would be huge.
trying2bok

Offline Butterfly777

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Re: Removing the Crepe
« Reply #18 on: October 21, 2016, 07:26:26 PM »
Hi THK!

 Wow! That really touched me !

Offline LearningIamOk

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Re: Removing the Crepe
« Reply #19 on: December 11, 2016, 08:17:37 PM »
thk, can you give us an update please.
trying2bok

 

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