[heroIam]

I am curious to find out how many LBSers that are still married and have Vanishers that are still currently financially responsible for home, bills, etc...

[OldPilot]

I am not still married however my ex is currently financially responsible, and always has been.

In fact her reason for divorcing me was all about $$$, at least according to her.

She has never had another real person.(OM/OW).

She owns her own home and pays her own bills,
although maybe she gets help from her mother and maybe from
her late father who died in the past few years.

[heroIam]

OP,
How is she still financially responsible?  Does she assist in supporting you somehow?

Am mainly looking to see how many of us on HS are still legally married with their MLCer being a vanisher.

[OldPilot]

OP,
How is she still financially responsible?  Does she assist in supporting you somehow?

Am mainly looking to see how many of us on HS are still legally married with their MLCer being a vanisher.

I said that I am divorced so their is no obligation either way.
However prior to our divorce she was not an MLC spender.
Although she went through a period of high spending during our marriage nothing was
that far overboard.
I am just giving you one data point.
Sorry if I don't fit your criteria at this time.

[Kat0465]

Hero,
Mine is now a vanisher    But he still pays the majority of the bigger bills. We are still married. He will not talk about Divorce, Hes been gone 3 years as of today

[Roma]

Hi, I  always took the word 'vanisher' as someone who was COMPLETELY gone. paid NO BILLS, left no word. Just vanished. Complete mystery as to where they were. I guess I'm confused with that term.

[heroIam]

Kat,
I see on your profile that you chose 'or divorce pending'.  Has your H initiated any legal proceedings?

Elegance, that's a good point.  I may have an off and on'er.  I don't know.  But I have no idea where my H is living.  Yet he remains financially responsible with homes and bills.

[Roma]

Hi Hero,

I really don't know. That is just what I always assumed vanishers were.

I'll just say this you are very fortunate because from what I've read and experienced MLCers are extremely selfish and irresponsible.

I'd like to see this thread roll out and see if there are anymore like yours.

[heroIam]

Elegance,
Yes, my hope is to find out how many LBSers are in the same situation as I am.  H not living at home, still legally married, pretty much a vanisher (not a lot of contact and I don't know where he lives) and may still have OW, however, still pays for homes and bills.  I should say I also contribute financially, H pays majority though. Financially nothing has changed.  Just H not home.

Absolutely, I am very grateful and do consider myself fortunate in that H has been financially responsible. (But....I wonder how much guilt may play a role)
So I am very curious as to if there are others on HS experiencing same.

[Kat0465]

Hero,
Yes I did file, He Dropped the Bomb in Oct 2013.  I filed 2 weeks later, thinking he would wake up. He was shocked for sure, told me that's not what he wanted or asked for... What he did ask for was for us to live together like roommates.and split everything.. the same thing his OW and her H are doing...

he would fight me tooth and nail everytime we had a court date. it was awful. finally after a year I told him I would not fight him anymore.so I stopped it. it was around that time I found HS.

theres a long story about how he moved out, and what has happened in the 3 years hes been gone. yes there has been touch and goes, that maybe gave me a little hope,there was the cooling down with the OW during this 3rd year.But that is back in full swing again. Tomorrow starts year 4 on this Journey, and I am Tired!!!!!