[denjef31]

Hey Everybody, I finally have a break!!!! How is everybody? Sad to say I have done no xmas shopping. Starving student syndrome, but H gave me money to do the kids shopping. I guess I will force myself to go tomorrow some time. I know its me because of my studies but I just don't feel like xmas at all this year.

I hope I get in the spirit soon, maybe I will rent Rudolph and bake some gingerbread cookies with eggnog tomorrow night to help get in the festive spirit. What is everybody doing to get in the xmas spirit??

[Butterfly777]

Hi Den!!!!  So glad to hear from you and that you're finally getting a break ! Your plans for tomorrow sound good and I think it will get you in the spirit . Christmas has always been my favorite time of year and for the past six years it's been strange enough being in Florida where I'm sweating bullets singing let it snow , LOL. But last year was hideous and was the loneliness Christmas I ever had, 2 Christmases prior to that I was walking on eggshells so... this year I made a choice and I'm going back to Maryland and going to spend it with my family there and my grandson who's 2 and a half years old . I'm truly excited! I'm praying for snow ! I can't wait to see my grandson's face on Christmas morning and all of the traditions that go with Christmas !! So I'm going to take a break from MLC land and fill my spirit!! Wishing everybody what the true meaning of Christmas is all about – that they may be filled with some Peace, Joy, Love, Faith and above all here... COMFORT!! God bless you Denjef and all my fellow LBS's!!!

[denjef31]

Butterfly,

I am so glad to hear you are in a better space this year. I love Florida, it is my favorite state to visit. I haven't taken a vacation to Florida in 2 years, oh how I miss it. I would love to have snow for a day, but people cant drive in snow down south so I don't want it to stick around lol. Cant have it both ways I guess

[Butterfly777]

Lol!! She can't have it both ways but funny enough they can't drive in it in Maryland either . Hahahaha ! Anytime you want to visit let me know , open invitation !

[Butterfly777]

I meant you, not she. Autocorrect!

[strength]

Glad to see you are back Denjef.  Lots of questions for you. 

[Never say never]

Glad to see you back, too!  I'm anxious to see Strength's questions and all of your postings.  I printed out all of your posts and study them.  Thank you for reliving your past.  I really appreciate it.

I hope you are feeling better.  Just came home from X-mas shopping with my D.  Last year, I did no shopping, no baking, no decorations, so I am in a little better place this year (I think!)

[MourningDove]

I have had to push myself through the Christmas "blahs" a bit this year because it will be the first year H has ever been away for Christmas, although last 2 years he may has well have been in many ways, as he was only partially here - in body only some moments.

I have been trying to take in the beauty of the snow and trying to embrace the positive holiday people. I had a gentleman pay for my kids and my coffee at the diner. He pays for someone's order each week it seems and doesn't want acknowledgement. Trying to be grateful for what I do have

[Never say never]

DenJef,
I know I have been a pain, but I am seriously waiting for you to post because I know you have been on "the other side," and I am so curious about what you have to say about what is going on in the MLCer's mind. 

You have given so much incredible insight and have offered invaluable advice to LBSes, and i know you have your own life to live and school to deal with and you have been sick, but I just want to thank you for everything you have done to help "us" through this turmoil we are going through, especially through the holiday season.

THIS SUCKS.   I KNOW YOU KNOW AND WHAT IS AMAZING IS YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH BOTH SIDE OF IT.  YOU ARE INCREDIBLE!!  RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE MY PERSONAL GOD!!

[denjef31]

Butterfly,

Thank you I love Florida so I just might take you up on that invitation when I graduate in the fall
 
Never,

Did you post a question for me on the fog 2 thread? If you did I am sorry, copy and paste here I will respond to you today.

Strength,

I am here. You know that. We will get thru this together. You are so struggling with this and I can almost feel your aching. What you want may or may not be obtainable but I know for certain, nothing can or will happen until you release him. Know that I of all people know how incredibly difficult and painful that is to do. But think for a minute that it is not really giving up or giving in but you will in essence stop the bleeding of your heart.

In order for you to get the love you seek from H or anybody else you must love yourself more than you love H. When you love yourself more you wont accept less than you deserve. You will no longer let this illness affect you, control you, and consume you in the profound way that it does right now. I will keep talking to you, I will keep giving you 2 x4, and I wont let up until you do this for yourself.

Denjef31