[krathos]

Oh Den, you nailed it with the attention seeker, she is doing just that. Now I'm not on fakebook but I hear about some of the crap that she posts and it is total attention seeking bull.
I have no interest what so ever in spending any time with her OM, so me not going to her little party was a no brainer.
And I stopped begging and pleading with her months ago after I found this wonderful site.

[Treasure]

Attachingx

[LiveIwillDo]

I am soo grateful for H.S.... this site has Helped me through some of the hardest times in my life.. My mentor checks in with me too.
Thank you Den for your transparency!! It helps to know that the crisis that my H is going through is real. Not many folks are aware of MLC!!!  Many Jewels in Your Crown 

[Shelly7435]

Attaching

[MyBrainIsBroken]

I wonder how you would respond to those who have no empathy or compassion for your MLC spouse but instead believe he could stop what he's doing if he wanted to.

[denjef31]

No expectations,

Sounds to me as your H is very much aware something is not right, he hasn't figured out that what is not right is within. His going to IC is a positive step, but I fear it wont do much good right now as he is not in a place where he will truly follow thru with any advice/recommendations right now. Him going is possibly premature right now. It takes a lot to dig deep and do the work that is required to dig yourself out the pit and stop blaming other people for their problems.

I went to counseling for two years and honestly I kept going because I liked the lady. It was good to just confess what I wanted without fearing repercussions. Read that again, I told the counselor what I wanted. I didn't tell her everything because again I am during that time never showing my true self to anybody not even my counselor or psychiatrist. Certain things I should have told her so I could process some of the muck in my brain I didn't. So how beneficial was it? Not much as I was just going thru the motions. It really in many ways became a game to see how much about me could she really determine from the snippets of information I gave her.

What you are describing is the confusion and the back and forth we do. Not settling on anything or making any permanent decisions. Just existing miserably in a confused state trying to figure out how to turn the chaos off in our brains. This could go on for some time. This counselor may be experienced dealing with depression/MLC and can recognize the bull we spill if so the chances of it helping are better. If not he will walk away having learned nothing and swearing off counseling all together as a waste of time. Let's hope he has an experienced counselor.

Denjef31

[No expectations]

Thank you Denjef.  I really, really appreciate your insight.  You helped me to understand. 

I can see the confusion in him.  I know he is trying with her, I've been to some of the sessions w H.  But you're so right, he may be giving her the pieces he wants to share and not giving her everything.  I think she is experienced in MLC but that doesn't mean she can hold him to be truthful w her, or w himself. 

I've done a lot of self reflecting and I see now how I really have to move on w my life and let him have this journey.  As my new name says, "No expectations".

Thank you again.

[denjef31]

MyBrainIsBroken,

I typed a response to you don't know where it went. Ugh I am going to take a nap then I will type up another response.

Denjef31

[No expectations]

One follow up question, Den,

Would it make sense for me to tell H that I now understand what he's going through and will support his need for time and space?  Or would that make it worse?

Thanks!

[Cat66]

Just echoing everyone's sentiments, thanks for continuing your thread, your advice and insight are helping us so much 🙂