Author Topic: My Story Rebuilding Lost was a place too  (Read 10038 times)

Offline sobeitTopic starter

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My Story Rebuilding Lost was a place too
« on: January 08, 2017, 07:03:27 AM »
New thread time,

It's been a hell ride the last few years, and I hate roller coasters.
I have found a strength that I can express without anger, I am a better person for standing, I have a wonderful husband, I have more than I had before Mlc.
I have learnt patience, I have learnt to own my own stuff, and how to identify people who don't. I have increased my emotional vocabulary ten fold.




previous thread: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=7997.0
« Last Edit: January 12, 2017, 02:11:16 PM by Anjae »

Offline maomina

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Re: Lost was a place too
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2017, 09:24:00 AM »
Well done you grew hope one day i will manage to express my self with no anger too .......thumbs up to u
Put a knife  through your heart and twist it and hundred times, does it hurt, this what my kids feel. Put a second knife through your heart and twist them both a hundred times and this is what I feel for I carry the pain of my children in my heart as well as mine!!!

Offline riverbirch

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Re: Lost was a place too
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2017, 10:47:28 AM »
Love the tread name. Very deep.
Me 52
H (whatever he is) 53
D for financial reasons March 2012
Started seeing massive change over the summer 2012
Left end of October 2012
Started coming home thanksgiving 2013
Home now. March 2014
Believe ow is gone
Probably going through this for years
OW discovered Oct.23,2013,old GF from before we met at the age of 16!
Left again Oct. 20 2015
Came back two weeks later
Still here 01/17 not done yet

Offline sobeitTopic starter

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Re: Lost was a place too
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2017, 11:21:04 AM »
Thank you for your encouragement, there is always the chance I posted purple a little too soon, but here's hoping it's a smooth ride from here on.

Offline Never say never

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Re: Lost was a place too
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2017, 11:26:17 AM »
I LOVE the color purple:)

Offline barbiedoll

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Re: Lost was a place too
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2017, 01:28:07 PM »
Purple simply is stunning on you Sobeit !  And the thread name ... is the truth. I love it!
Married April 1985
5 children
Bomb Drop April 2013
Thrown out of house August 2013
Affair discovered November 2013 (i guessed who)
Home December 3 2013
The Journey Of Reconciliation .. is for the brave .

Anger is like a candle in the wind ... it blows out the light of all reason.

Offline Sally Wood

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Re: Lost was a place too
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2017, 02:44:20 PM »
I am presently in the purple camp after a year of roller coaster. I have to ask for some advice.  But first a little current info.
H still seems to have moments when he reverts and cycles but not so often or violently.  He told me about a month ago that he knew I had questions and he had things he wanted to hear from me but we needed to be in a "safe" place with my therapist or someone.  I was a bit surprised by this and said sure.  However, just about four days ago he came to me and said he wanted to talk and started by saying that he wasn't sure he was here because he wanted to be or because he was afraid of the financial damage I would do to him in a divorce.  Then went on with the same litany of blames but then said he never wanted a divorce.  Wants to move forward.  Has been very sweet and loving. 
I remain a bit on guard because he could revert if this is just another cycle.
He swears he never had sex with the OW.  I have access to his old text messages if I want them.  I am torn because I want the truth and I have doubts that I have gotten full disclosure. But on the other hand I am not certain what that would do to me if I learned that he lied about that and have the data showing what took place.
What to do?
Sally

Offline sobeitTopic starter

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Re: Lost was a place too
« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2017, 10:20:24 PM »
Hi SW I looked for your story but couldn't find it, purple is a colour I dreamed about and have waited about 5 years to post, it's reserved for rebuilding solid relationships and is the final stage of rebuilding.
I'm not sure you are ready for purple, but maybe I just haven't seen your story.
I wish you love and hope and a good solid head on your shoulders during your stand.




Offline Made

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Re: Lost was a place too
« Reply #8 on: January 14, 2017, 01:16:21 PM »
attaching
But by God's grace I am what I am.

March 22, 2015 But it is true, I no longer see myself as the problem or as the solution.

Feb 1, 2017 no hope = no expectations = no disappointments

Aug. 8, 2017 She has lung cancer
Sept. 12th 2017 She has surgery and is expected to fully recover and be cured

Offline No expectations

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Re: Lost was a place too
« Reply #9 on: January 15, 2017, 09:49:03 PM »
Attaching
Married 11 1/2 years, together 18.  BD 9/2016, 2nd BD 10/16.  H moved out 10/16.  2 AS's from my first M.  Me 55, H 50. OW 23.  Moved back 4/18.  Reconnecting and working on our M.

"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through; how you managed to survive.  You won't even be sure if the storm is really over.  But one thing is certain; when you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person that walked in...that's what this storm is all about."

"The trick is to enjoy life.  Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones."

 

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