[MoreWillBeRevealed]

I swear my H is on the verge of a complete mental breakdown. Right now my only concern is my son. H lost 40 lbs in 2 months, is most likely using drugs, looks like he aged 15 years, and face is shallow and bordering on creepy looking. Just wondering if other MLCers have breakdowns and even end up on the psych ward. As every day goes by I worry about his mental state when he has our son. The transformation since BD is astounding and awful.

[Velika]

MWBR, I have had the same question recently, especially as my MLC-H is now purchasing guns. I too feel he is getting worse.

He too has aged and looks "off." I mentioned on my thread his eyes look like Robert Durst's eyes in "The Jinx."

It is not hard to go low contact because I get a creepy feeling like you describe. We also share a son and my concerns are similar.

I have no idea what you wrote about being hospitalized. Sometimes I think it would be good for him but of course only if something could be identified as being the cause and then treated.

[beyondblessed]

 I thought my xh was well on his way at the 6 week post BD,.  He was a mess the week before filing for the D, and had a car accident the day after filing, which he never told me about.  He was still at home at the time, and I found the accident report hidden along with the D papers, which he hadn't yet filed.  I went and checked out his car and it did have damage, and the report put him at fault.  Just shows his state of mind at the time he filed for the D.

[terrified_in_TN]

I don't really have much to contribute, and really don't want to alarm anyone, but there was a guy at work...I don't know anything about him-whether he was MLC or not.  But he did have affairs, and go through d.  Outwardly he was always joking, laughing, cutting up.  Well built, blue-eye'd blonde guy.  High paying position.  I would gather a "real catch" in most woman's eyes.

Unfortunately, as it turns out...he was extremely depressed, and took his own life...

Just one article I found on the subject:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/suicide-men-50s-causes-1.3263412

-T

[barbiedoll]

I believe my husband had a complete breakdown... no question in my mind. He did end up in hospital. I further confirm this because he tells the marriage counseller.. " I had a complete mental and emotional breakdown".  When my husband was "crazy" he absolutely looked like a man suffering horribly. The time period he was still at home he was always "red faced", horribly slitty eyes, tormented and very angry .

Almost "dangerous" angry. My intuition often "alarmed" that this person is dangerous. Horrible horrible, because never had I felt that. I remember sitting on the deck on either side of a glass patio table and my instinct was to move away from the glass .. and I did. I felt he could have smashed the glass with 1 blow. He went one day to help my daughter whose car broke down on the highway ... he was so enraged she immediately started to cry... she too "sensed" a stranger. He demanded that she drive his truck home ... all kinds of firetrucking words flung at her. She cannot drive his truck... it is HUGE and she cannot do it so she refused . She called me in hysterics .. "what is wrong , what is wrong with daddy ".   

I told her to take her purse and just walk. Just keep walking away.. do not drive that truck! . OMG!  The only thing that saved us was that her girlfriend was very comfortable with trucks and offered to drive it .  She said to me daughter  " your dad is a very scary guy". He NEVER was.  Later that week at a family event , he grabbed my 4 year old granddaughter ( off her feet) because she made a whole in the lawn, filled it with water and was happily playing . It was the beginning of deciding he had to go... and he was out of the house 3 days later.
He came to my work 93 days later. Sobbing,shaking, snot and he was purple. On his knees in the snow with my rings asking me to help him... "you have to help me Barbiedoll, I need help please .... what have I done , what have I done ??"

Security guard , people staring, my work mates looking out the window... just the worst disintegration of this man. He was hospitalized. When he was released , I let him stay on the coach . He slept for days. I absolutely know that his therapist told him , he should have been hospitalized months ago. Trust me... he slammed the bottom of his life very very hard. He has been in therapy ever since . He once said " I did not have an affair , I actually had a total breakdown in all ways and that was just another utterly stupid thing I did when I was out of my mind "  ( not a true affair).   Hmmmmm???  Really .

Unacceptable . ... but I know what he means because therapist has explained it to me . It remains unacceptable . YOU had an affair PERIOD. Three years later ... still trying to recover .  He talked about suicide and how he would do it. Depression almost had another victim.

[Thunder]

My opinion is, the MLC itself is a mental break down.   How many do you hear about, when they come out of it, can't even remember what they did during this time?  They were in some kind of weird breakdown.

I think the depression can cause them to go really over the edge.  Some are more depressed than others and do need help, but most can and will eventually come out of it.

One said afterwards it was like a black curtain lifted and they could see again.
Quite scary for them, I'm sure.

[Not Applicable]

I was away from my husband 3 months due to something unrelated to his MLC shortly after it all started. When I came back, I found him looking as if he had aged 5-7 years in those 3 months, and he had dyed his hair in the meantime! And this is someone for whom aging is part of the whole thing so to see him age like that was a bit shocking. The other woman wanted him to grow his hair longer but he let her cut it and it looks like a rat's nest and he doesn't even seem to care. Before he cut it himself and it always looked so nice. He also put on some weight and he had been at the same weight for almost 2 decades.

Can't say there is a mental breakdown but definitely a physical one.

[BBhelp]

My opinion is, the MLC itself is a mental break down.   How many do you hear about, when they come out of it, can't even remember what they did during this time?  They were in some kind of weird breakdown.

I think the depression can cause them to go really over the edge.  Some are more depressed than others and do need help, but most can and will eventually come out of it.

One said afterwards it was like a black curtain lifted and they could see again.
Quite scary for them, I'm sure.

Could Not Agree More!

My wife absolutely had a nuclear meltdown at least twice...and they looked completely different from each other.  One time she seemed truly possessed and the other she was almost catatonic and paranoid.  They were both scary as heck.  And my wife would mirror what Thunder said...she has almost no memory of so much of it, described it as an out of body & mind experience.

BB

[Roma]

Hey MWBR,

I do feel MLC is a total metal breakdown also. If  had children, I'd be concerned and wary of leaving them alone with a MLCer, not because I feel they would do any harm to anyone purposely yet because of their irresponsibility, lack of awareness and age regression.

Also, because what they say and see is completely different than reality.

I hate saying things like that because we are talking about my MLCer as well who I do love dearly.

[Ready2Transform]

Agreed with others that MLC and breakdown are synonymous. The drugs at an extra level of instability and uncertainty to the situation as well. Do what you have to in order to protect your child.