[Not Applicable]

I think we are still far off from the necessary understanding for drug companies to be involved.

Of course, there would be a huge market if there were a drug that could cure all this.

But first one needs to identify the brain chemistry/hormones behind MLC in the first place before a drug could be found, unless a drug gets found inadvertently. Just like how Viagra was originally a heart drug and then they found by chance it could help erectile dysfuction as well.

[Not Applicable]

I forgot the hereditary part I think that can easily influence on one side how susceptible one is to these biological causes and also on the personality traits that might or not increase the effect.

Yes, I have wondered about the genetic component. There was something in the news in the last few years about a "happiness" gene that was identified. My husband happens to be from a country with one of the lowest rates of having that gene and with the lowest rates of happiness. I have always felt he was simply an unhappy person, that it had nothing to do with me or even his life, that he was just naturally unhappy, although it didn't reach the level I would call depression like he seems to be in now. Could be due to childhood trauma partially but I always felt there was something inherent in him. He reached a point in his life where he felt there was an unsolvable problem that he needed a solution to and this may have tied in with his natural unhappiness to push him over the edge.

[Ready2Transform]

I forgot the hereditary part I think that can easily influence on one side how susceptible one is to these biological causes and also on the personality traits that might or not increase the effect.

Yes, I have wondered about the genetic component. There was something in the news in the last few years about a "happiness" gene that was identified. My husband happens to be from a country with one of the lowest rates of having that gene and with the lowest rates of happiness. I have always felt he was simply an unhappy person, that it had nothing to do with me or even his life, that he was just naturally unhappy, although it didn't reach the level I would call depression like he seems to be in now. Could be due to childhood trauma partially but I always felt there was something inherent in him. He reached a point in his life where he felt there was an unsolvable problem that he needed a solution to and this may have tied in with his natural unhappiness to push him over the edge.

It's been mentioned in a few of the other threads for this, but look into Pyroluria or Pyrolle Disorder. It's a genetic B6 and Zinc deficiency that tends to hit the European (particularly Irish) lineage the most. Some doctors believe it can create a propensity for serious ailments like personality or mood disorders, alcoholism, and blood clots, to less serious things like digestive disorders, chronic kidney stones, and chronic diverticulitis. My xH's paternal side suffers from most of that! It's a bit of a red flag to me, but it's also not widely accepted by all doctors. There's a clinic in Illinois called Mensah Medical that specializes in these sorts of imbalances. Just more food for thought (or cheeseless tunnels, depending on your perspective).

[kikki]

I think we are still far off from the necessary understanding for drug companies to be involved.

And that's exactly my point.  How do we even begin to get to the bottom of this if no one is prepared to fund research into it. We don't.  And on and on it goes without any real public knowledge or understanding.

I'm not suggesting that medication is going to be the answer.  I'm suggesting that drug companies are the ones who fund the research and they obviously can't see the financial payoffs.

[Trustandlove]

This is a slight tangent, but in the UK at least, much appears to be happening in terms of generating awareness of mental health, especially in men.  This seems to be geared towards depression, and I have yet to see someone say that they destroyed their life rather than acknowledge a depression, but some articles come close.

David Baddeil, a well-known comic, writes on this; he says he has been in therapy for 10 years.  He also wrote that his father suffers from depression, but wouldn't acknowledge it for anything, and acts towards others accordingly.  That's the closest I've seen.

The awareness campaign seems to be focused on men committing suicide, which is said to be the biggest killer of young/early middle aged men now, rather than disease.  That is obviously a very serious matter which needs to be addressed; there seems to be less focus on those who "simply" destroy lives.

I'm not at all saying that this constitutes research into the matter, just noting what I observe.  Perhaps this is a tiny starting point. 

It does point out that the stigma attached keeps people from coming forward; I haven't specifically seen something that says that men may blame everything else, though. 

And I agree with kikki, the drug companies don't have a vested interest in funding studies that don't result in a need for a drug, so this side of things does get ignored. 

[Not Applicable]

Here's a question: If we accept that there is something chemical going on that causes this, and absent any sort of drug treatment, then what is it that causes them to get out of it, or for the fog to lift? I've seen it said there is nothing one can do to force the fog to lift, that they have to work through their issues first, but if it is actually a chemical thing, do they really need to work through issues or is it that whatever happened to them chemically just passes?

[Not Applicable]

And another question, in the absence of a pharmaceutical solution to MLC, conventional wisdom says that if we lay off pressuring our husbands they are more likely to come back. That giving them space is the best thing. So what is this doing to their brain chemistry that increases the likelihood of them returning to us?

[Thunder]

I think pressuring them just adds to their confusion and makes it worse.  By giving them space they can process easier.

I know there were times when my H was deep in thought and if I asked him a question he almost got irritated.  As if I broke his concentration and he became more confused.  Like he couldn't handle two thoughts at once.

There's lots of swirling thoughts going on in them thar brains.   

[Not Applicable]

I think anyone deep in thought would be annoyed, MLC or not.

But my husband up front asked me for patience and space and I agreed to give it to him. This was even before I fully realized it was a MLC and the reason I thought I was giving it to him was different from how it has panned out. I thought it was a more practical matter but really it is something in his brain that needs it.

[Velika]

Here's a question: If we accept that there is something chemical going on that causes this, and absent any sort of drug treatment, then what is it that causes them to get out of it, or for the fog to lift? I've seen it said there is nothing one can do to force the fog to lift, that they have to work through their issues first, but if it is actually a chemical thing, do they really need to work through issues or is it that whatever happened to them chemically just passes?

If this is depression related, depression is inflammation based. If this inflammation is exacerbated by hormonal changes, perhaps when these stabilize the inflammation will also decrease.

This is also a question I have, because just as LBS will describe their spouse as changing overnight, some recovered MLCers' first hand accounts lead me to believe that the fog lift can also be sudden.

I don't believe MLC is about resolving issues, but I do think it creates a level of disinhibition and lack of awareness and self control that permits otherwise manageable issues to blossom out of control. For example, at bomb drop my husband complained that we didn't go on enough 1:1 weekend getaways together. But his disinhibited solution was to take OW to a gathering of his work colleagues and FaceTime our son shirtless and glowing from a hotel room -- less than one month after bomb drop.

Maybe if someone did this once and then took accountability, asked for forgiveness, did some soul searching, and gained the insight to see what had really movibated this, it would be working through issues. But instead a MLCer will often do increasingly worse things. Also some reconciliation threads as I have mentioned describe returning MLCers as "uncooked," still foggy, and very unaware oftentimes of what just happened and their own role in it.

My feeling is that since the amygdala is likely involved, engaging with a MLCer further taxes his/her amygdala and stress hormones as well, thereby exacerbating this conditon.