[L&S]

From mine:

H: I've been unhappy for years, I don't remember the last time I really loved you.

M: I never knew, why didn't you tell me sooner?

H: Because I just realized it two weeks ago. 

[Mamma Bear]

  How about 
H:  We should just friends. I am with a REAL friend now.
Me: But we're married.
H:   Remember you always said 'why can't we be friends and just raise the ds together?'   

Me: I never said that.
H: My brother said I abandoned you guys over there. Where does he get this stuff from? He said you were all about getting a lawyer and going after me.
Me: If you send me any blue paper from a lawyer I'll throw it in the garbage.
 H: Oh, good that's what I thought.           

[Thundarr]

Ladies, you guys crack me up!!

I guess my W must be like a male MLCer as she seems to say and do more crazy crap than all the female MLCers combined. 

Angelgirl, it's great not only to hear your stories but that your H has forgotten even saying all that crazy stuff!!  It makes you realize that they really are in a fog.

L & S - Keep 'em coming!! So great to see your sense of humor lighting up the board!!

[memyselfandi]

OK, one for the topic ... on top of all the crazy and absurd contradictions I've heard from one breathe to the next, I love, love, love it when they start grasping at staws for lame excuses to make contact. Here is a text I got about a week ago, around midnight:

H: One of these days this week can you please loan us the hamster ball? D11's mouse cage is gross and I need something to put it in while cleaning?

I didn't see the text till the next morning and when I stopped laughing hysterically, I wrote back:

MMI: Sure thing, will bring it to the rink tonight.

OK, sorry, but shared custody of the Hamster Ball has to be one of the lamest excuses for contact that I've seen so far. BTW, he still has the hamster ball ... and I need to clean their cages but ... alas, I think I'll run over to Wal-Mart and invest the $5 to buy another one.

As Stayed so nicely puts it ... you just can't make this stuff up LOL 

[WarriorPriestess]

LOL L&S and MM&I!  Those were too much...

[stayingthecourse]

LOL!  These are too funny!  I will try to recall anything that my H has said that is funny.  Mostly it is just confusing and sad. 

My H never calls me by name - EVER.  I am mom - but never me.  I noticed this early on.  I did not know why but it kind of ticked me off.  So, I started making sure that I stated my name whenever I had to call him, or if I left a message.  Ex.  Hi H, this is Stayingthecourse.... I made sure to start every phone conversation this way, and I also made sure to use his name in every conversation we have had.  I no longer tell my kids to, for example, "ask your dad," If I do refer to their dad I always call him by name. 

I think I initially started this because I felt so displaced already, and then to have H not use my name, made me feel even more invisible.  Now, I have just gotten into the habit.  Funny that H has just started to notice that I do not refer to him as dad, in maybe the last couple of months or so.  He has not said anything, he just looks at me when I do this.
And I know that he is actually seeing me when he looks.  LOL!

[NewBeginnings]

H - I'm really proud of myself.  I have never cheated on you in 24 years. 

Me - You are cheating on my now!

H - Oh!


H - She's just a friend, a roommate.

Me - Friends or roommates do not sleep in the same bed!

H - no response.

[kikki]

H: EVERYONE is going to think I'm mental when they find out I've left you.  You're so amazing, you deserve better than this

Me:  Well, why are you leaving then? And why are you acting badly?

H:  I'm too sensitive for this life....... and I can no longer live by your morals ........ or your kids morals........

Me:  They used to be your morals too, and the kids are also yours (H -look of confusion)

H:  There's nothing at all wrong with me, I'm not going to take medication

Me:  Who suggested medication?

H:  Well, everyone thinks I'm mental for leaving you


Hmmm - not much has changed in 20 mths then!

[L&S]

Gosh, I did not think it was funny when it was being said, but i am glad it makes other people laugh.  I am glad that he was not unhappy enough to actively notice his unhappiness, despite NEVER being happy - if that makes any sense.

Sigh.

[WarriorPriestess]

Aww L&S.  *hugs*

It's funny because it makes no sense.  That's the point.  It's crazy.  It's conflicted.  It's not true.  Those were two completely conflicting statements pronounced in utter MLC seriousness.  Hence the utter absurdity of it all.

And I know it's not fun or funny at all to live through the reality of being told all of this garbage.  But looking at all of these posts online, I swear we could write a script with this.  Oh wait, it's already been written...it's the MLC script!  Ack!