[Roma]

I don't know yet Velika  are you stereotyping ALL Americans?

If anything I know it's script for the MLCer to search outside of himself to find 'happiness' could it be the MLCer has spoken on his quest to pursue 'happiness' no matter chich country he is from and not ALL Americans?

[Velika]

I don't know yet Velika  are you stereotyping ALL Americans?

If anything I know it's script for the MLCer to search outside of himself to find 'happiness' could it be the MLCer has spoken on his quest to pursue 'happiness' no matter chich country he is from and not ALL Americans?

I believe in general male American MLC plays out a certain way because of the context it takes place in, yes.

In general I think Americans -- especially men -- are very isolated from one another, especially as they age. This is both physical and emotional isolation. On top of this, American concept of marriage is romance oriented, not family oriented. American society is highly secular. Moreover, it is much harder in the U.S. than other countries to have a certain quality of life as a middle or lower economic group. (I'm not talking about material quality of life.)

Adding to this the dominant narrative of American personal story is job success + romantic/sexual fulfillment + freedom. I think other cultures to varying degrees add religion, family loyalty, self sacrifice, and educational achievement to this mix.

So while this chemical imbalance may happen everywhere, I think there is a reason why freedom/isolation, romance/sex, individual gratification, and spending money are the typical antidotes in male American MLC.

[Roma]

Velika,

I would have to disagree there. You might be talking about particular Americans yet in no way is it right at all in my and my H's situation.

You really can't generalize ALL American's at all. This county have a mixture of races, cultures, and religions.

There is no set standard way of life here. While in MLC there is a specific script they go by.

Sorry you feel that way about ALL Americans yet it's not true at all.

[Thunder]

"In general I think Americans -- especially men -- are very isolated from one another, especially as they age. This is both physical and emotional isolation."

I partially agree with this statement, but only for men.   They are very isolated from one another emotionally.
They don't seem to have the ability to talk about their emotions with other men, and the other men don't know how to handle conversations like this.  So they just don't talk.  Most men feel more comfortable talking to women who they feel will understand, even then not always.  Many men, sadly, talk to no one about their emotions.

They also are not comfortable being physical with each other unless it's to play some sport.   

Women on the other hand talk about their emotions with each other all the time.  They hug and have no problem kissing or holding each other.  So they are not emotionally or physically isolated.  Far from it.
My best friend and I cuddled on the couch the other night watching a movie.   

I have no idea whether this is just an American thing with men but I do agree...in general.
There are always exceptions.

[Roma]

So Thunder do you agree MLC is different in different countries too?

[OldPilot]

Women on the other hand talk about their emotions with each other all the time.  They hug and have no problem kissing or holding each other. 
So they are not emotionally or physically isolated.  Far from it.
My best friend and I cuddled on the couch the other night watching a movie.   

In general men have more testosterone(muscles/drive hormone).
Women have more estrogen(emotions/nurturing hormone)

So I have to agree with you.
Or at least until we get old when it all switches around.

[Thunder]

No, I think MLC is the same in all countries.

[Not Applicable]

I think if we are going to be comparing we need to focus on areas where it actually makes a difference in MLC.

And I can tell you my husband's MLC is definitely NOT about finding happiness, but he's not American in origin either.

[Roma]

Searching outside themselves is one aspect of MLC.

Changing what do you feel your H's MLC is about?

Thunder, that is what Changing and Velika are expressing, that 'American's MLC is not the same as other countries.

I disagreed with them and say MLC is MLC no matter where you are from.

[Ready2Transform]

I wasn't a huge fan of Dr. John Gray that wrote those "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" books. But around 2012 I read his "Venus of Fire, Mars on Ice" which talks about the hormonal differences between men and women and how that impacts their relationships, and it changed my view on some of his work. He talked about how neurotransmitters (as they were just becoming more deeply studied at the time he wrote it) also impacted their communication styles and needs in order to stay balanced and effective. I think it was last year when he updated it as well. It's worth picking up a copy: https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_2_13?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=venus+on+fire+mars+on+ice&sprefix=Venus+on+fire%2Caps%2C233&crid=3UHEX4SPJL4AH