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Did your MLC'er suffer from childhood abuse (physically, emotionally or other)?

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Author Topic: Discussion Why isn't MLC recognised medically and in society?

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My thoughts are, the medical community doesn't recognize it because they can't cure it with medication or therapy.
With a mental illness there is certain medications that can help them.  If it's a psychological problem there is therapy.

What can you give a person who is going through an identity crisis?
They don't feel there is anything wrong with themselves so they won't seek any help.  They just have to go through it.  Sort themselves out and that just takes a lot of time.

Most of them do come out of it.  With no medical help at all.

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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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As a medical professional, in mental health no less, I get really frustrated about the lack of recognition that midlife crisis gets.  Throughout school, I learned ZERO about midlife crisis.  I have educated myself as extensively as I can over the past 3 years. 

Personality disorders are a medical diagnosis, and there are no cures for them, and the person experiencing the personality disorder has no clue they have it (and are often in denial that they have it).  Yet it's still a diagnosis!! 

Midlife crisis needs more recognition and it should be a diagnosis in the DSM manual.  Professionals who go to school to work in psychiatry and mental health need to learn about MLC.  Because we all know that the MLCer isn't going to come for help, but their spouse ikely will!!  And they need tools to navigate this horrible rollercoaster.  And when the MLCer comes through the tunnel, therapy is beneficial when they are willing to do it, and the person counseling them needs to know the tools to proceed with helping them heal!!  The lack of education, formal diagnosis, and lack of training is just appalling to me. 

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Me: 41
Ex H: 45

MLC started 2013-2014. BD x3 Jan-March 2017. EA confirmed.
He’s playing house with his much younger girlfriend and raising her kids while I am out living life on my Harley! 
PROUDLY AND HAPPILY DIVORCED

R
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Just a thought. Could it be that it's both physical and mental the doctors could never decide how to categorize it so they left it alone?
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Now this scares me somewhat......

Frontotemporal Degeneration: The Dementia Doctors Mistake For A Midlife Crisis
Date: April 24, 2014      Publication: Daily Health News      Source: Bradford C.  d!ckerson      Print:
 

A loved one turns 50 (or so), impulsively buys a flashy sports car that he can’t afford, aggressively propositions women in restaurants, swears at his boss, then lobs insults at you when you suggest that he settle down. You might think that he’s having a somewhat tardy midlife crisis…but he’s not.

The real problem may be a type of dementia called frontotemporal degeneration (FTD) that leaves memory intact while causing disturbing changes in behavior, personality and/or language. FTD occurs equally in men and women. People with this progressive brain disorder often alienate friends and family, jeopardize their jobs, maybe even get into legal trouble—yet often they’re completely unable to recognize that they have a problem. And even if they do see their doctors, they’re likely to be misdiagnosed with depression or some other psychiatric problem, at least in the early stages.

That’s why they need all of us to be aware of the warning signs…so patients can get the help they need and appropriate plans can be made for their future. Here’s what you should know about FTD…

RECOGNIZING AN UNRECOGNIZED DISORDER

One reason why FTD often goes undiagnosed is that it tends to strike earlier than other forms of dementia, typically developing in a person’s 50s or 60s—which people may think of as “too young” for dementia. Alzheimer’s disease, in comparison, appears 10 to 13 years later, on average. Another source of confusion is the fact that FTD patients usually ace memory tests used to detect Alzheimer’s—for instance, they often have no trouble keeping track of day-to-day events and staying oriented to space and time. Also, many people have never heard of FTD (also called frontotemporal dementia or Pick’s disease) even though it accounts for up to 20% of all dementia cases.

The term FTD actually encompasses several related disorders, all of which are characterized by progressive damage to the frontal lobe, a brain area associated with decision-making and behavior control…and/or the temporal lobe, which is associated with emotion and language.

Though genetics plays a role in about 15% to 20% of FTD cases, the majority of cases do not appear to be inherited. Doctors aren’t sure what triggers FTD, though they do know that in some cases the disorder occurs when a protein called tau degenerates and is no longer able to perform its main function, which is to stabilize the structure of brain cells, said Bradford C. d!ckerson, MD, an associate professor of neurology at Harvard Medical School and director of the Frontotemporal Disorders Unit at Massachusetts General Hospital. Other cases result from changes in other proteins, he added. As a result, neurons die or become shrunken and misshapen…scar tissue forms…and there is an accumulation of abnormal protein within brain cells.

As a consequence of the brain degeneration, patients experience progressive changes in behavior, language and/or motor skills. Symptoms may include any or all of the following…

 Personality changes—including loss of empathy…heightened aggression…and increasingly inappropriate social behavior (hypersexuality, excessive swearing, laughing at others’ misfortunes, etc.).

 Impulsivity, distractibility, poor judgment and impaired decision-making skills. Examples: Impulsive spending or financial risk-taking…inability to plan and prepare a meal…inattention to personal hygiene…driving like a reckless teenager.

 Compulsive behaviors, such as repetitive hand clapping, incessant humming or shoplifting…and intense cravings for sweets or other carbohydrates.

 Apathy, lack of motivation, listlessness, irritability—symptoms easily mistaken for depression.

 Increasing problems with language, such as difficulty naming familiar objects, expressing thoughts and comprehending words. Ultimately, some patients are rendered incapable of speaking…and some lose the ability to comprehend the speech of others.

 Muscle rigidity, weakness and tremors, which can lead to trouble balancing and walking. Early on, such symptoms often are misconstrued as signs of Parkinson’s disease. Eventually patients become unable to perform daily activities.
Sadly, FTD is ultimately fatal, with the duration of the disease ranging from two years to more than 10 years.

It’s tragic to think that, during the early stages, an undiagnosed patient might so alienate his/her family and friends—who are understandably bewildered and upset by the person’s disturbing behavior—that he winds up alone during the later stages, with no loved ones to help him. That’s one reason why a diagnosis is so crucial.

GETTING HELP

“In many people with FTD, the changes in the brain reduce insight and self-awareness to a degree that the patient is not able to recognize his impairments,” Dr. d!ckerson said. So if you suspect that a loved one has FTD, insist on accompanying him to see his doctor and request a referral to a neurologist with expertise in the disorder. No single diagnostic test exists to confirm or rule out FTD. Diagnosis is based on a detailed cognitive and neurological exam…a neuropsychological exam to assess behavior, language and decision-making functions…and neuroimaging tests such as MRI or PET scans to check for atrophy in various areas of the brain.

There is no known way to cure FTD or stop the progression of the disease, but there are treatments that can help ease some of the symptoms. For instance…


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 Antidepressant selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors may be able to help control aggressive behaviors, impulsivity and carbohydrate cravings.

 Antipsychotic or mood-stabilizing medications may be able to help manage irrational or compulsive behaviors and ease agitation. However, these drugs can have serious side effects, including accelerating heart disease, so the benefits need to be carefully weighed against the risks, Dr. d!ckerson said.

 Speech and language therapy can help a patient learn alternative ways to communicate (such as with gestures or by pointing to pictures), reducing frustration and improving quality of life.

 Occupational therapy makes it easier for a patient to perform basic activities of daily living and to avoid falls.

 Counseling or psychotherapy rarely helps FTD patients, Dr. d!ckerson noted—but it almost always helps their families.
FTD eventually progresses to the point that patients need 24-hour care. The sooner a patient is properly diagnosed, the sooner plans can be put in place to make his life as secure and comfortable as possible.
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« Last Edit: March 17, 2017, 08:20:37 AM by Rossbren »
Me 47
Him 47
OW 32
Married - 20 years
Together - 28 years
BD - Nov 2014 - reason for affair said I controlled his life, wore flannelette pyjama pants to bed and drove our family car 🤔
Moved in with Young OW and her 2 kids Jan 2015
Total Vanisher
Divorced Sept 2016
S21, S17, S16 (autism), D14

🌹🌹Let's be real...Bren is the only one who can do Bren. I'm the best Bren on the planet. Trying to turn a skank into a Bren? That will surely end in disappointment, if it hasn't already.🌹🌹

❤❤Family isn't an important thing.  IT IS EVERYTHING!! ❤❤



Vanished Return Stories Thread #1 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9088.0;all
Vanisher Return Stories Link Thread #2 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9378.new#new

V
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Rossbren, I believe that MLC affects the same region of the brain (frontotemporal lobe)  and this is why we see the same behavior.

This disease is progressive and fatal. I believe that MLC is to a certain extent progressive (as people not they get "worse" as they get "deep in the tunnel"), but some people do recover.

Because MLC represents many other illness, I think that all LBS should inform their MLC spouse behavior and personality change to his or her doctor. This will not stop the MLCer but is a record something is wrong in case new symptoms appear.

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« Last Edit: March 17, 2017, 09:06:46 AM by Velika »

R
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Another reason it's not recognized is because MLC is temporary. A long temporary yet temporary.
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V
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Another reason it's not recognized is because MLC is temporary. A long temporary yet temporary.

Is it temporary? Can we say this with authority?

This has happened so many times in my MLC-H's family. No one ever seems to have really recovered.
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R
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Another reason it's not recognized is because MLC is temporary. A long temporary yet temporary.

Is it temporary? Can we say this with authority?

This has happened so many times in my MLC-H's family. No one ever seems to have really recovered.

 Could it be they did recover and some of the new personality changes are what stayed instead of bouncing back to the old persona?

That is normal. Just as in puberty a child grows and is no longer 5 years old since they are now 13.

Our MLCers are growing. MLC a fascinating maturation process. MLC is like puberty for middle aged adults.

There are no guarantees in MLC.
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« Last Edit: March 17, 2017, 01:01:33 PM by Elegance »

R
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I tried to post this on it's own thread yet it got cut so I'll post it here:

THE GOAL OF A MLC IS FULL EMOTIONAL MATURATION

https://thestagesandlessonsofmidlife.org/the-goal-of-the-mid-life-crisis-full-emotional-maturation/

While the MLCer is on their Emotional Maturation journey, us as the LBS have our own journey to embark on which is why I'm so thankful for RCR and HB who started sites like this one. I'm able to breathe and know that this terrible period in our lives, won't last forever willfully.
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« Last Edit: March 17, 2017, 01:15:51 PM by Elegance »

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Rossbren,

They say to "insist" on accompanying him to see his doctor and request a referral to a neurologist with expertise in the disorder.
They obviously don't understand MLCer's.   ::)

There is no way in the world my H would have let me " insist" on anything especially not go to any kind of doctor for testing.  As far as he was concerned there was nothing wrong with him.

I did however talk to our doctor about my H.  He was concerned he may have a brain tumor from the symptoms.  But of course a few years later the symptoms were gone.  Just a crisis.

I suppose if a person actually had that they would eventual have to admit something is wrong when it started effecting their motor skills.  But before that I highly doubt they would go to a doctor.  Would your MLCer?
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

 

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