[Anjae]

Please just do not send him or her anything about MLC, they will only think you are in denial.

She already did and got arrested for arrasement.

Be that as it may, how unfortunate is it that I can not have HER arrested for harassing my very FAMILY?!??

Your husband had, and is having an affair with her. Different things. If anyone harrased your family it was your. He is the married one, he is the one who left. You have, and are, miss directing your anger at OW. Your husband is the one responsible for the break of the family.

I think you should go read and re-read all of RCR articles and blog posts. There is a lot you need to learn and understand.

[megogirl]

No....that isn't necessary, at all.  I can basically recite RCR's words (I'm that enamored of her writing ability.)

I know she said not to retaliate.  I read it.  But I felt I had to do *something*.  I am 4.5 hours away, having no idea what he's been doing!

Perhaps I was "out of line" to leave a letter....and I paid the (legal) price for it....but it was my only option, other than slashing her tires (which I figured was cliche, and only would have been considered vandalism anyway!)

Sorry, but I think leaving a snarky letter is a small-damn-price-to-pay for BANGING SOMEONE ELSE'S HUSBAND.

[xyzcf]

MLC is not about the OW.....it is his crisis. She is just one of the many manifestations of the crisis. MLC 101

Yes, knowledge of the  OW hurts us terribly but we can limit the amount of hurt by understanding that she means nothing.

Actually, I feel sorry for the poor women.

To others reading this thread, PLEASE DO NOT SHARE ANY DETAILS ABOUT HERO'S SPOUSE WITH YOUR MLCER! Information that has been discovered on HS has been used by the MLCer in court to use against the LBSer.

[megogirl]

Oh, I know....

OW is absolutely NOTHING.  I get that.  H even told me such (whilst in Prisoner mode/a brief pocket of clarity), "I don't want her.  I want my family!"

She's still annoying and needs to GHOL.......

[Anjae]

Your only option of what?

She is only sleeping with your husband because he allowed it and his sleeping with her. It takes two to tango.

And what is the price to pay for a husband that is sleeping with someone else? Not only that, but has destroyed his family, been abusive to his spouse, etc?

Why does she has to pay a price for his cheating? He should pay the full price and double.

OW being annoying is not a reason.

I don't fell sorry at all for Mr J's OW1 or OW2. Number 1 knew he was married, understood he was depressed and make her move. But he is the one responsible for everything that happened.

Like RCR says, how didn't you want to hurt me? You don't know what you were doing? Inserting slot A in slot B and all the plotting of the affair is not know what you are doing?

Mr J knew not only what he was doing by having an affair with OW - I am talking about before he left - but that what he was doing was wrong.

OW2 decided to pick the broken hearted guy that has broke with whom she thought was his girfriend, OW1 and since saw her away into calling the shots. None of those women has my sympathy. Nor does Mr J.

[megogirl]

She is only sleeping with your husband because he allowed it and his sleeping with her. It takes two to tango.

Indeed!  No bones here whatsoever....

But he has been subjected to something called MLC, and she has not.

Why does she has to pay a price for his cheating?

Because she knows he has a freaking FAMILY!!

Case-officially-CLOSED.

[Anjae]

How do you know she has not? Or that she doesn't have other issues? Usually, alienators have issues of their own. Or maybe she is in love with him as you were with your friend's boyfriend. She is as entitled to a mistake as you were.

His MLC does not excuse him from what he is doing. It explains it. He is 100% responsible for his actions and that includes getting involved with someone else and be with her.

In fact, since you were once OW, you really can't go after someone for being what you once were. It is illogical. Yet, you created all that drama.

[megogirl]

Or maybe she is in love with him as you were with your friend's boyfriend.

Holy crap, NO.  I was NOT in love with him.  I was just in awe that he'd wanted ME, at all (even as an OW)!

I was so wrapped-up in the drama of playing my role of "Kelly Taylor" that I forgot about my BFF in the process.

It happened 25 firetrucking years ago though?!?

His MLC does not excuse him from what he is doing

Never-have-I-ever called his crap an excuse...only the reason.

[Not Applicable]

You traveled 4.5 hours to deposit a letter in her mailbox without a stamp? Putting something in someone's mailbox is a Federal crime!

I could say a lot more but I don't want to stoop to your level, so I will stick with the above factual statement.

[Treasur]

Anger is understandable and many of us feel angry towards and ow/om but, mego, the advice here is healthy
find another more constructive way to use the anger

ow/om don't care what you think or feel
neither does your h right now
and both will feed off your reactions in a way which fits 'their' story
basic physics really...an action produces a reaction...and the best FU is be too important in your own life to even bother with people who are disordered and self-centred and who do not wish you well
best way to treat an 'affair down' is not to respond as if it/they have power over you

what's done is done
but please step away from feeding the drama, mego, it truly won't serve you
the rule of 3 is a good way to make a space between feelings and what we do with them
and the magic disappearance of ow/om will not 'fix' any problem that you need to fix imho