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Author Topic: Discussion The Eyes Have It

m
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Discussion Re: The Eyes Have It
#50: September 15, 2018, 04:12:59 PM
You didn't answer why you had a child with an abusive man. Were you thinking the child may change him as well?

NO!  I had a child with him because I got pregnant; I love him; and he loves me.

I think you've all gotten the wrong idea about my H.  He's high-strung, for sure.  But he's *never* been physically violent - the worst he's done is to throw a (harmless) comb at me. 

He works extremely hard, and I attribute any "acting-out" now to his MLC (a direct result of his dysfunctional parents!)

I am, by no means, a "battered wife."     
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« Last Edit: September 15, 2018, 04:22:31 PM by megogirl »
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Re: The Eyes Have It
#51: September 15, 2018, 04:23:14 PM
Meg..two excellent posts by xyczf and Anjae

I suggest you check out the domestic violence thread...there's a list of behaviors considered domestic violence....he's been verbally abusive also.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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Re: The Eyes Have It
#52: September 15, 2018, 04:24:27 PM
Megogirl,

I don't pile in here, I really don't, but "the worse" in the vows doesn't mean accepting abuse.  I means when you H or W is not at their best and is not being supportive or loving you stand by them.

It means when your H is sick with a disease or is depressed, or looses their job and can't be your proper spouse, you support them.
If my H had cancer I would still stick with him.  If he had a mental illness, I would still stick with him.

But abuse is different.  That's not for better or worse, that I staying in a dangerous relationship.

There truly is a difference.
I don't think God meant for us to put ourselves in danger, just to stick by them then they are sick, like with cancer.

I hope that makes sense to you.

Your H raped you more than once, that is not ok, that is beyond the "worse" our vows were meant for.
Yes, I'm sorry but that is being a battered wife.
Please hon, don't make excuses for him.  What he did was violent.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."
Y
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Re: The Eyes Have It
#53: September 15, 2018, 04:32:11 PM
As mentioned above my wife has had a history with the blank, dark eyes.  My question to the group is how much mental illness does everyone attribute to the mlc.  I feel there is alot in my wife's,  but i am not sure.  I have read about chaos kids and childhood trauma which my wife has definitely experience.  What does that mean for me?
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Re: The Eyes Have It
#54: September 15, 2018, 04:43:52 PM
Yari,

That just means you had nothing to do with your w's trauma.

You can't fix her or make things better for her.  She needs to do that all by herself.
I know this is hard but you just need to step back and, as hard as this is, let her do her own mending, her own fixing.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."
m
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Re: The Eyes Have It
#55: September 15, 2018, 04:47:36 PM
Please hon, don't make excuses for him.  What he did was violent.

I make no bones that what he did was totally unacceptable.  I am not sure which assault you are referring to, though?!

If it's the "Donald Trump" one well, DT did the same thing.....and HE'S THE FREAKING PRESIDENT!

If I only stay the course, his MLC will eventually fix him.  It was/is sent by God.
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Re: The Eyes Have It
#56: September 15, 2018, 04:54:19 PM
Quote
I make no bones that what he did was totally unacceptable.  I am not sure which assault you are referring to, though?!

If it's the "Donald Trump" one well, DT did the same thing.....and HE'S THE FREAKING PRESIDENT!

PLEASE read what you just wrote...so because Donald Trump does this it is ok??????

Quote
If I only stay the course, his MLC will eventually fix him.  It was/is sent by God.

No God did not send "MLC" to fix him.
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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html
m
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Re: The Eyes Have It
#57: September 15, 2018, 05:01:23 PM
PLEASE read what you just wrote...so because Donald Trump does this it is ok?

HELLLLLS TO THE NO!  DT is a sociopath. 

I only used him as an example because the timing of both our events was so similar.
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m
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Re: The Eyes Have It
#58: September 15, 2018, 05:08:02 PM
he's been verbally abusive also.

Sorry Init....but I'm a tad confused (?)
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nah

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Re: The Eyes Have It
#59: September 15, 2018, 05:10:05 PM
Quote from: megogirl on September 15, 2018, 04:12:59 PM

I am, by no means, a "battered wife."     

Another Quote from Megogirl:

My black-eyed Monster H has already sexually assaulted me, twice (once "Donald Trump"-style, in the middle of the night)  Another time, he had intercourse so violent, I considered it full-on rape. 


I don't even know what to say.


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H-55
me-53
ow-31
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...semi-vanisher
https://heneversaidaword.com
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