Author Topic: My Story Between the earth and the sky...  (Read 4669 times)

Offline Shocked

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My Story Re: Between the earth and the sky...
« Reply #10 on: April 05, 2017, 10:17:58 AM »
Hi Onward! I am so sorry about you losing your pet. Love is so precious right now, it's devastating to lose any morsel!!! Sending you a hug!🤗
I care🤗
H 51
W 58
M 22 Years
2 AD both married from my first M
BD 12/15 moved out-in replay, vanisher, MOW in Atlanta
D 2/17

Offline Strongcurrent

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Re: Between the earth and the sky...
« Reply #11 on: April 06, 2017, 05:07:09 AM »
Hi onward
Happy to follow you on your new thread - you always have plenty to offer.

SC x

Offline UKStander

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Re: Between the earth and the sky...
« Reply #12 on: April 06, 2017, 05:26:58 AM »
Hi Onward

Stick around, please. You've always had good words of wisdom to offer me. 

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog.   :(   And your H...

Hugs and luck to you.
BD June 2011
Affair discovered; three moves out and three attempts at return during 2012, culminating in "I'm not coming back" statement. Then DIY separation agreement - Feb 14 - which I wouldn't sign. He moved in with OW in 10/14 and I heard little more. I instigated D in 2016.  He's still living in rental with OW and her D but the cracks are starting to appear.

Offline heroIam

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Re: Between the earth and the sky...
« Reply #13 on: April 06, 2017, 06:45:34 AM »
Onward,
I really hope you continue to post here.

I know your wisdom has helped me tremendously and I see it has really helped others.
“In the end, you’ve got to be your own hero because everyone’s busy trying to save themselves.”

Offline xyzcf

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Re: Between the earth and the sky...
« Reply #14 on: April 06, 2017, 06:56:12 AM »
Quote
I'm kind of anticipating this is going to be a slow thread, and may well be my last. There really isn't a lot to say when one isn't inclined to journal very much about life outside of MLC, is heading into the fourth year of living in limbo, with an "off and on-er", and without kids. 

This is really a pretty positive thing, because after a while...they do not consume our lives and are not a part of our every waking moment.

I had thought my husband would have been done years ago with contacting me and as you know, he has not. So you never know really, what lies ahead between the two of you.

At this point in time, I am more concerned about his behavior towards our daughter and the pain it causes her. But that too helps me to understand that he is not in his right mind.

The house is so empty without our fur babies....their unconditional love for us is very healing. My dad used to say that he didn't want a dog because their lives were short and he didn't want the pain of losing an animal...but I always thought...well, but what about the many many years of joy they bring to our lives. To me that is worth it.

Kind of like MLC.....we don't regret loving our spouses and the many good years together. Those memories should remain as precious ones in our life story, as hard as that may be.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

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Offline OnwardTopic starter

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Re: Between the earth and the sky...
« Reply #15 on: April 06, 2017, 11:20:58 PM »
Thank you all for you condolences regarding my recently departed pup. I miss her tremendously. This particular round of grief is going to take a while to get over.

Despite my earlier pronouncement about not having a lot to say, I’ve provoked myself into muse mode.

Provoked by what?

Grammar.
Or, more accurately, sentence diagrams. An obscure tool nobody’s bothered to teach for about 30 years.
When the notion of structure and rules supported clarity of communication.
And clarity of communication was fundamental to the concept of communication ethics.
And communication ethics were considered crucial to the development of communities...and relationships.

You know, back in the days before spellcheck, grammar check, google everything, crude acronyms, rudeness as entertainment and grade inflation.  Back when an argument was an invitation to explore ideas rather than to exchange insults, and valid evidence carried more credibility than vocal opinion.

But what’s vexing me isn’t about stupid sentence diagrams. I’m irritated at myself for even bringing it up, because what does it even matter?

And then I’m irritated at myself on another front, because it’s easy to let go of things that “don’t matter.”

So what does matter?

Conformity?
Diversity?
Ease?
Challenge?

Freedom of expression?
Tolerance of dissent?

Striving to understand others before judging what they’ve said?
Imposing a rationale on others that they have not said?

Does “going along to get along” matter?
Or a willingness to defend against communication that degrades others through distortion or intimidation?

Seeing what one wants to see?
Being open to see through the lens of another?

Accepting the expression of the personal convictions?
Or judging the validity of another’s convictions through one’s own lens?

Accepting responsibility for the consequences of our own communication and expecting the same of others?

I have a pretty good sense of my own values around these questions. But I’ll have  to come back to it later because mostly I just needed to get this out of my system and I have way too many papers to mark to explore this topic further tonight.
« Last Edit: April 07, 2017, 12:01:55 AM by Onward »
"and though she be but little, she is fierce" - Shakespeare

Offline 31andcounting

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Re: Between the earth and the sky...
« Reply #16 on: April 07, 2017, 06:51:31 AM »
 :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
(hugs)
31
Hurting people hurt people :(

Offline Anjae

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Re: Between the earth and the sky...
« Reply #17 on: April 09, 2017, 04:31:49 PM »
Please don't take offense, but grammar is low on my list of things that truly matter. And I work with writing and translation. But on the grand scheme of things, it is low.

Things that really matter to me: love, kindness, peace, beauty, diversity, ease, warmness, joy.

After this MLC thing, looking after grandmother until she died (and her last horrible three months), I realise most things really aren't that important.

This, from someone who used to be a grammar police with Mr. J, because he always wrote the Portuguese "À" as "Á".  ::) Interestingly, his MLC self writes the correct "À".
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline OnwardTopic starter

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Re: Between the earth and the sky...
« Reply #18 on: April 09, 2017, 05:56:18 PM »
Anjae, absolutely no offence taken. Grammar doesn't matter that much to me

What does matter to me -- *a lot* -- is how people treat each other.

In fact, some time ago, while I was troubled about something going on between folks at work, H posted to his FB account "Onward really cares how people treat each other. It's one of the reasons why I love her."  He got lots of likes for that.

Ironically enough, he BDd me and left about 6 months later.  :o

What hasn't changed is how much I still care about how people treat each other.  :)
« Last Edit: April 09, 2017, 06:01:11 PM by Onward »
"and though she be but little, she is fierce" - Shakespeare

Offline calamity

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Re: Between the earth and the sky...
« Reply #19 on: April 10, 2017, 08:56:19 AM »
No grammar doesn't matter.  Communication matters and grammar is one of the ways we make communication clear.  You said all that and for someone who is busy marking you have put a lot of thought and time...

Anyway I was just explaining to someone ;) why we do those flow charts and diagrams etc for each story--we take it apart to see how it's built so we can build our own.  Deconstruct, construct...  No-one ever explained to me as a child, why we did grammar [or plot lines or story boards].  Come to think of it, I didn't understand well enough to explain to another until recently--okay you have me so conscious of my grammar that I'm stuck. 
I'll go work in my garden.

 

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