Author Topic: My Story Between the earth and the sky...  (Read 3575 times)

Online CallingHeart

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My Story Re: Between the earth and the sky...
« Reply #90 on: June 13, 2018, 07:35:56 PM »
Hi Onward,
You got approved for a substantial sized loan. Yay you!
That says a lot about how others can place their trust in you and how you can stand on your own financially. 

Personally, I think seeing your H on the patio with kids is probably "more" than a trigger. Not sure what I would call it, but that would set most people back.

When I lament about being childless, I read Isaiah 54.
CallingHeart....
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.

It's no longer all about MLC!  
Pfffffffftttt !

Online KeepItTogether

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Re: Between the earth and the sky...
« Reply #91 on: June 13, 2018, 10:13:39 PM »
Onward—that part about seeing him on the restaurant patio with her children tore my heart out. I can only imagine how you felt. You seemed to have bounced back pretty quickly and that is amazing. But allow yourself to be sad too bc that is rough.

That all said, look at all you’ve accomplished all by yourself. Pretty awesome I think.
Me 46
H 45
S11
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo.

Offline OnwardTopic starter

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Re: Between the earth and the sky...
« Reply #92 on: June 14, 2018, 11:54:46 AM »
Thank you everyone. One of the unexpected blessings of all of this has been finding a community of friends who 'get it'.

I was thinking this morning that one of the traps I can fall into is looking around and seeing all of the happy couples out there and envying "why them and not me?"

I'm a good person. I was (am) a good wife. A good friend. What do they/does she have that I don't have that he would just throw it all away? (I know, I know. He's in crisis. It's not me, wasn't the marriage etc. etc. etc. But I do sometimes have these thoughts.)

Usually, I can wrestle them into the ground pretty quickly. But the "pop up thoughts" do prompt a small wave of sadness.

Today I had to remind myself of how many good people I know - including this forum - who have also experienced the trauma of being cast aside. I am definitely not alone.

I both know and don't know why I am going through a real funk right now. And I'm annoyed with myself that after all this time, and despite knowing what I need t do to get out of a cycle, I still fall into the blues.

Sigh.
As I said to RT earlier today, and Calamity has often reminded me, the emotional fallout of this sure does last a long time.
« Last Edit: June 14, 2018, 11:57:57 AM by Onward »
"and though she be but little, she is fierce" - Shakespeare

Offline Anjae

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Re: Between the earth and the sky...
« Reply #93 on: June 14, 2018, 06:22:54 PM »
You are not alone.

And you also don't know if the same will not, sadly, happen to one of those happy couples.

You and your husband were once a happy couple. So where the rest of us and our spouses.

It is not that easy get out of a cycle even when we know we need to. Falling into the blues may keep happening.

Things get better, but, at times, there may fall backs. Don't worry. It is all a normal part of our process.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline calamity

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Re: Between the earth and the sky...
« Reply #94 on: June 15, 2018, 11:23:20 PM »
Quote
And you also don't know if the same will not, sadly, happen to one of those happy couples.

You and your husband were once a happy couple. So where the rest of us and our spouses.
Yes. 50%... 
And I always wonder if those couples are married to each other. ;)

 

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